Everyone has great suggestions. We talk about it often at our house, and also that they only people that are ever to see or touch private parts are mommy and daddy to help clean, and a doctor if he/she is giving an exam.
I think it's harder to prepare kids that they may know someone that would harm them...ya know? How do they learn to trust? Worse yet...what if one of your trusted adults is not as trustworthy as you think? Oh well...all we can do is prepare them as best we can and pray. God loves them more than we can imagine. Not saying that horrible things don't happen to Christians.
yes, we live in an area where kids are abduckted from kinda a lot so we talked to the kids when they were small, and kept them right wiht us close. It was not until they were preteen age that I would let them go more than 12 feet from me so I could rescue them. Do not only let them know about strangers, people they think they know will grab them too. You have to make sure they have a code word, and know self defence. THe best thing I was taught is to kick thier shins as hard as you can--- this leaves identifying marks, And if someone tries to grab the kid your kid needs to drop to the ground and grab the guys legs , or even one, he cant walk well that way, and while doing this they wrap thier legs around his leg and arms and scream "HELP SOMEONE IS STEALING ME!" not just the typical thing cause kids play using so many words today, It is really important to tell kids not to listen to anything the person says in regards to helping them find someone or thing, but to run to you if approached too! And then to get away if the person gives up you agree not to tell but then you run and tell! That will put the jerk in jail! HA! the proof is in the bruises!
So here's my dilema. Because of the nature of our church, having the "unwanted" down-and-out people there, we do have some sexual preditors who attend. There are two that I know of right now. (Someone checks on-line on a regular basis, and brings their pictures to Staff Meeting.) First of all, I have been told that SP's actually target suburb churches, because there's lots of kids there and they can easily play the game and "fit in" without anyone asking lots of questions. Christians are often SO TRUSTING and take people at face value! ANYWAY, keep in mind that my children are the only ones attending. All the "core adults" are VERY protective of them (and any other childlren). When we have clean-up days, they know pretty much who they can be with...one day, I was giving them a list of names, and Phillip (with insight!) said, "So you're saying anyone who teaches Sunday School...." And yes, that pretty much summed it up, since we're picky about who teaches SS! I know the faces of the two men that are currently attending. My husband also knows them by face. But my children do not. I'm not sure they need to know this. I've tried to teach them to be friendly to all the "street people", but they know to be careful around them, to stay in groups of people, etc. They know better than to go off by themselves in the church. To be honest, these people have no interaction with my children. Our pastor will sit down with them when we first discover their past. He tells them they are welcome to come, but also lays down VERY strict ground rules for them. And there could easily be others that we don't know about. I'd rather my children be a bit wary of ALL the neighborhood people to some extent!
I have probably told this here before, but it seems to fit in with teaching your kids they can trust leaders in the church. I was molested many years ago by my grandmother's neighbor who was also a deacon in our church. He was the husband of one of my grandmother's best friends. I didn't tell for many years. I was married before I told anyone. He actually grabbed me on a back staircase in our church. I am being very honest when I say I was happy to hear that he had died a few years ago. There are very few people that I trust completely with my kids. VERY few!
I saw a show where a man from the show was supposed to lure "stranger savvy" kids to his car- ALL of them went. It's a big deal to make them understand strangers look nice and friendly and we use a crazy password.
My children know when they are at church who they can go to if they need something, they also know that they should be nice to everyone. We don't trust everyone who attends our church but they know who the safe adults are.
Mine also have been instructed who they can go to and not anyone who I do not know personally and have okayed. They mostly stick to adults who go to our home group because they have known them all thier lives. A couple years back I sadlly made dd stop hugging so many people just because she is growing up. I hate that some people being sick can cause our children to loose innocence even if it does not happen to them they do know that it can. Btw did the first poster of this call the police and report the man, it could save some other child. I would just call to report a suspicious character at the park. They can take it from there , maybe have a patrol person walk the park or something. It is very suspicious the way he went away and came back to watch more....
We had a molester at my church. Once found out...as he took a kid in the coat closet..thankfully he was caught before anything happened...well..enough happened to know his intentions. Anyway, he was promptly kicked out. Some thought that was the wrong move since we are a church and should be loving. Whatever...the church did the right thing by calling the police and kicking the guy out. Sadly, nothing ever came of the police report...not enough evidence or something. I wasn't a member at the time..happened years before I joined so I don't know the details. However, I do know that my friend saw the same man talking to two little kids at McDonald's. They were inn a booth with their mother. The guy was talking to them and offered them candy or something. My friend went up the mother and in front of this sicko, told her exactly who he was. He was angry but didn't say a word and left. It's a shame but him and many like him walk the streets.
Ava...my mom did the same thing, but we a had a secret nickname, so if mom or dad was in the hospital they had to give us the secret nickname for us to go with them. It was something only our family member would know. All of these are scarey!! I will tell you if you haven't seen the movie Changling...it is so sad!!! Deals with this...but not for kids to see!!!
Our doc always says I'm going to check in your private for just a minute, but it's ok because mommy & daddy are here with you. I like that she reinforces that.
Code words are great...but I actually think my 4 year old would mess that one up. Either she would be tricked and say it or she would just say it and ruin the whole concept. Any advice on how to keep a kid to keep that secret? Geesh...I even wonder about my 10 year old! LOL. My 12 year old is solid...no worries. My 4 and 10 year old are a bit dizzy..lol. I do think my ds would keep the secret....but I could see him letting it slip.
I just always remember my mom telling us the people who need to pick you up will know the first time what the code word is. Say it's like Booger... I would ask what my code word if they said finger then it was our way of knowing this person was not sent by mom. There wasn't any waiting around it was just they knew or didn't & to go find someone to help you like your teacher or whomever.
Makes sense, Diznee. I don't know..I just see my dd saying, "no...it's not that..try again." in playful way. I am sure I am underestimating her. I will have to role play with her so it becomes second nature. You are right...no waiting around..no guessing...just do you know it or not.. Makes sense. THANKS!
