Hello everyone! Thanks for taking time to read my post. I have a just-turned 5-year old daughter who has been enrolled in a Christian preschool this year, and has a few months left. My purpose in putting her into the program was not for educational purposes, because when she entered last fall at age 4, she already knew how to read, add, subtract...etc. I have never worked with her (that makes me sound like a bad mom, I know!) She is completely self-taught, and has a ravenous appetite for knowledge. She picks things up very easily and has taught herself how to read, write, draw, add, subtract...etc. She also has a very strong personality and likes to be in control of every situation. (Born leader, I'd say.) This is why I put her into the program. She has always had difficulty in getting along with other children, unless they are several years older than her. She also wants to control the adults, so I thought putting her into an environment with other children her age and under the authority of a teacher would help her to learn how to work with others. Ultimately, I've decided that she is not thriving in this environment. She's getting into trouble because she's bored, and she's also having behavior problems because the teacher is not sure what to do with her strong personality. The other day, I had to leave her longer at school than normal, and the teacher brought her into the kindergarten class, and she already knew how to do everything they were doing and had no problem picking up the first grade work. I don't know what to do! I guess my only option right now is homeschool, but she is so insatiable. What do you do in this instance? Do I let her learn at her own pace? If so... she's going to be so far ahead that there will never be a chance of her returning to any type of private schooling in the future. I want to homeschool her this year either way, because I think I need to build a more solid foundation with her on being under authority, and working well with others, since this year didn't turn out how I had planned. I'm just at a loss. I don't know where to start. I don't know how far to let her push herself. I don't know what kind of programs are out there. HELP! Can anyone help?! Advice? Anyone been in a similar situation? I guess I just need a starting point.
oh my heavens! What a bright kid. mom, you have got your work cut out for you! There are several publishers that have placement tests available to see where to start out and can give you a better idea of how to work with her. You say you don't want her to get so far ahead that she can't ever go back to private school, would that be so bad? unless homeschooling is just not an option, there should not be a problem. if she has that kind of drive and potential,why not nurture that? I don't have gifted children so I am not familier with some of the more advanced materials, but I know there is someone on here who knows just what you need. I do know the child needs lots and lots of books!LOL
Well, I don't have any experience with being the parent in such a situation, but I do with being the kid. And I say, yes, let her learn at her own pace. She will get far ahead no matter what you do, so you're better off having her in an environment that encourages that, rather than an environment where she gets bored (which will lead to getting into trouble). Get involved with some other homeschoolers who need to work on social skills to take care of that aspect.
No... it's not that it's not an option to homeschool her forever. I guess I was thinking waaaaay ahead, and wondering if she would ever get to a point where she would want to "go to school" instead of being homeschooled. You know? And then I also wonder, what if I'm terrible at homeschooling? I was very similar to my daughter when I was younger. My parents attempted to homeschool me, but they couldn't handle it. Then they tried to put me back in school, but I was 2 years ahead of all the rest of the kids my age. So, I guess I'm just remembering what it was like for me. I liked being with my friends, but I was bored out of my mind. Once I got into high school and AP classes were available to me, I jumped all over them, but I wasted so many years. I think I could have been doing the AP work much earlier than I was allowed.
Kindom mom, calm down, my dd is two years ahead graduating this year, she did all tha tyour dd did and is living a fairly normal life after 11 years of homeschooling, she actualy completed the K-1st in one year etc. So it is possible at her age she is thriving on it I would start her with store bought K stuff just to have her done with it, then go on with 1st-2nd at the same year, if she realy enjoys it. We went with five courses for 2st with dd cause she coudl do it too, and it really helped her to get information and do work as well as helped me to know I was helping meet her needs. I know Public Schools would not probably put her two years ahead, thats why we never thought that an option for her. But private schools are a little more acceptable with an entrance exam. I would still home school her because she will enjoy it!
I'm sorry I didn't see this post sooner. I'm in the same situation. Bear with me, because this might be long-winded. I don't talk openly about my son very often because ... especially online (not on this site, thankfully! people here are very nice!) ... people either think I'm lying or they think we're crazy parents who push our kids to the point of insanity. We're not. We're pulling our hair out just trying to keep up. My son started talking at 3 months, knew all of his colors, shapes, letters, etc. at 18 mos, and taught himself to read at 22 mos. He never liked toys. Never. He "read" (in the toddler sense) books with paper pages from the time he was 4 months old. Never chewed on them or ripped them. None of that. He was very clearly on a kindergarten level shortly after turning 2. We (*ahem* my hubby) put him in preschool at 2.5 thinking it would help his "socialization" (major eye rolling going on here). Yes, he was weird. Yes, people stared everywhere we went. However, preschool was a huge mistake. He only stayed 4 months (and quite a bit of that was logged as absences thanks to the millions of germs). He begged me to let him start kindergarten when he turned 3, because all of his friends (ages 5-6) were. PS doesn't enroll 3 year olds, so I ignored him for the most part. Long story short, we gave in and allowed him to try K at home when he was 3.5 just to test the waters. What's the harm? If he failed miserably, there was always next year, right? Who were we kidding? The K curriculum came in the mail, and it was a joke. We spent so much time and money going from one thing to the next trying to figure out what to do with him before ultimately testing him and figuring out where he really stood. He's now on a high school reading level and 3rd grade math level, and there's nothing we can do about it. We did NOT teach him most of that. If we lock him in a closet until he's 5, he'll still be ready to start 3rd grade when public school enrollment starts. He'll still be on a high school reading level. He'll still walk through the door and say, "Wow, what a capatious building!" That's just who he is. For two reasons, we let him learn at his own pace. (1) Our own sanity, because otherwise he'd be bored, in trouble, and constantly asking a million questions. (2) Because children who are never challenged, who are always at the top of their class without any effort whatsoever, are the children who become failures as adults. Children shouldn't be taught english, math, etc. They should be taught how to learn. How to think. If he's never pushed just as hard as any other child, he'll never know what it means to be pushed. Every child has a potential. Every child has a breaking point. However, those are sliding scales because every child is different. My son isn't even 4.5 yet, but we're starting 2nd grade right now. Yes, I realize that means he'll probably be "able" to start college way early. Does that mean he has to? No. Does that mean at some point he won't choose to take a year off and study nothing but cellular biology? No. He can do whatever he wants to. His physical age, emotional age, and academic age are not the same thing, and they don't have to be on the same levels. We improvise. It's become a lifestyle. We no longer know what "normal" really looks like. I also have a 16 month old who is talking in sentences and counting to 10. For us, that's normal. Will he start 1st grade when he's 3? Who knows? He won't be held to his brother's standard. He won't be held to the government's standard. He'll be held to his own standard. Just so you know that you and I are not the only ones in the world who have ever asked themselves if acceleration is the right answer, you should read this: http://www.accelerationinstitute.org/nation_deceived/ (Volume 1 is the one you'll want to read. Volume 2 is the research behind it, so read only the chapters that partain to you if you're interested in it.) There's a lot more information out there than you can possibly process at one time. If you have other questions, let me know. You may need to send me a pm. I'll be very busy with personal stuff for the next 3 weeks or so.
Kingdom mom, look how far she's gotten by herself, and you admitted that you haven't worked with her... Sounds to me like all you're going to need to do is move next door to the library and STAND BACK! LOL!
LOL I agree. FWIW my dc have not been anywhere but home and they are doing amazing. We will be homeschooling for the long haul. Much luck to you.
chances are it will not stop, I kept waiting for dd to slow down, she still does side studies each day, reads stuff that has no actual purpose other than it was interesting to her, etc. I am looking now as she is graduating for a job that will help her use the information she stores, teacher? Professor?
I want to thank you all. Phew. I guess I'm getting a little ahead of myself, and I am so thankful that there are a few of you who at least understand what I'm saying. I have tried to have this discussion with my friends who have children, and it's like they can't comprehend her. I am so glad I found this forum. I'm not so alone!! (and getting a little excited to start the homeschool journey!)
I was in this situation, and if I could do it all again I'd say, "Relax! Enjoy your little girl." And I wouldn't even consider public school before high school - because as you well know, that's when the interesting courses come along. Let your daughter learn at her own pace, but also set some firm boundaries. Your time is your own. Don't let yourself be bullied, and don't think that just because she *could* spend hours every day learning, that you have any obligation to do that with her. It's absolutely wonderful that academics are a joy for her, but she will profit more from learning self-control and patience. And manners! And also how to entertain herself. When my children told me they were "bored" my response was always, "That's terrific! Because you know, the bathroom really needs cleaning." At one point we had a list posted to the fridge of "things you can do when you're bored" - including "build something neat out of the contents of the recycling bin." My daughter started spontaneously reading words out of the newspaper I was holding when she was 2 1/2. She was intense and overwhelming and when she got tired she'd just speed up and go faster. Now she's 14 and she's laid back and contented and a really pleasant, sensible kid. She's not going to graduate school early - she doesn't need to. She's happy to breeze through her classes, enter math competitions, and submit her poetry in contests and read (and read, and read, and read). I feel good about her future.
take pictures too! I have the cutest pics of my dd still in diapers playing a letter game on the computer that she had to spell three letter words with to go on tothe next level. we had an addition game too , got them for ds but dd would go and log in to do it lol
This is also a very refreshing outlook!! Thank you!! My daughter has been "intense and overwhelming" since the day she was born. You hit the nail right on the head with that one. She had colic for months, and I used to say it was because she was so smart and alert and cried because she was trapped in that little baby body that couldn't interact with the world like she wanted to. I guess we'll figure it out in time... how to handle it all. I'm just glad I'm not alone!
Ohh... colic, too? You have my sympathies. I had the same theory about the cause of it, too. My daughter started crying at 3 weeks old and didn't stop for months. She was happy for a bit after she learned to crawl and walk, but then at a year old she began getting frustrated all over again. I remember watching her trying to put a wooden puzzle together - she had a piece backward and was screaming and hitting it with her tiny fist, trying to force it to fit. She never went through the "terrible twos" - she was chatty and fun to be with, and excited about learning to read. Then at three she went through a "I will only wear black because I am a kitty cat" phase. She would dance for street musicians, who laughed and called her, "The freakiest kid ever seen." At four she was worried about dying, and was making up songs about Jesus dying and coming back to life - and singing them in public! (To understand this, you have to know that we come from a tradition that prays silently and in private. ) At five I got connected with a group for gifted parents on the web. We decided to meet at a museum in a nearby city and I was very excited to show off my super-smart child. Except that was the day my daughter decided she wasn't human - she was a baby lamb! She spent the entire day on her hands and knees, baaing. We left after she bit her baby brother on the top of his head. At six she was enrolled in a special program for "profoundly gifted" children - over the 99.8th percentile in testing, and my husband was asking me, "Are you sure she's normal? Because I'm worried there's something wrong with that kid." By seven her classroom teacher was asking if she should be on Ritalin. Eight, nine, ten, eleven... we homeschooled. Gradually the child stopped flailing around in every direction and began to settle down. She also developed an acute sense of danger and became aware of consequences - becoming somewhat timid as a result. When a new less-exclusive gifted program started, I enrolled her in it because I felt it was time for her to become more independent. Twelve, thirteen, fourteen... Gradually we've seen her find her feet and gain confidence in herself. It's not the blind enthusiasm of when she was little, it's a real sense of being capable. These days she's thinking about what she wants to do with her life (something in the sciences seems likely), and is checking out rental markets and figuring out the cost of living. And then comparing that to average wages in the various career fields that interest her! I told her it's too early - all that's going to change. But she just likes to plan. I guess it's like playing house... :lol: I sometimes miss the energetic, enthusiastic little girl she used to be, but I admire the graceful young woman she's becoming. I think it's wonderful that you're at the beginning of your journey. It's quite a trip! Make sure you enjoy the sights. :love:
Your post has made me laugh, and I imagine that it is much easier to laugh about all of it now then when you were going through it. My daughter seems soooo similar to your daughter, except she's not super fond of animals, so she finds herself getting obsessive and becoming characters from video games and movies. But obsessive she is. Have you ever seen the movie "Where The Wild Things Are?" As soon as the rest of my family watched it, my sisters all called me one by one and said "YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS MOVIE, AMY!! IT'S NATALIA!!" ...trying my best to enjoy it, as everyone keeps telling me to do. Haha. At least I'll have an interesting book at the end. (Even now, she is standing next to me, pointing at the screen and demanding that I tell her why I am typing about her...haha)
I think you need to be open to homeschooling in the long-term. As you said, she's already way ahead of her peers; homeschooling now will only increase her distance. At the same time, being in a "regular" classroom will only make school boring, because she "knows" it all already. Schools WILL NOT move a child up if they are advanced. MAYBE one year, but NEVER two!
MegCanada, my ds was singing evangelical songs in the car at 4 and told me to roll down the window cause "those two girls on the corner need to hear this!" His song he had made up was called "Just listen to God" lol he sang the whole red light to these two teen age gals! lol!
Ok I read your post earlier in the day and I wanted to respond but "bit my tounge" because it's not what you are looking to hear here... but my brain kept coming back to these parts of your post. The parts that I made red... those are my oldest son.. 100%. He is bright as the sun, but thinks that he is in control of everything... including adults. He was super bored in public school, constantly in trouble, etc. We brought him home 4 years ago because we felt they just didn't know how to handle his personality, didn't challenge him enough, etc. Now for the part you don't want to hear... he has ODD... Oppositional Defiance Disorder. I reccomend you read up on it, because your daughter sounds very familiar to me.
Our yongest son wanted to start K with his brother. I had reservations about it and asked a friend who was a cert. teacher. She told us that kids are like sponges and to give it a try. He LOVED it! Well, my youngest son graduated from high school early, Abeka Academy. He is doing very well and gainfully employed with a career he loves!
