It's not easy on me to share this topic with anyone but I thought you're all moms first before anything else. I've been thinking for sometimes of having baby #3.The idea of having one is not leaving my mind.Why? I don't know. I have 2 precious dds age 8+9 so as you can see it's been a while.I have the biggest fear of starting all over again.and The idea of homeschooling another one from the start is not easy on me.So Why do I want another one..I honestly don't know, Maybe I not young any more I am now 35yrs.old and my clock is ticking. Homeschooling my girls while pregnant is also another fear.My mind is not at ease at all.My husband and I are up and down with this topic and now I could tell that he's comfortable with having baby #3.My older one is always taking about babies and great it would be to have a baby in the house.Has any one of you been through that?Maybe I just need to forget about it.Please help me put my mind at ease.
well I am not sure if I have anything helpful to say, but having a 'baby in the house' is very temporary as you well know. They are cute and all, but that doesn't last, the baby phase I mean. Within a year or two the 'baby in the house' will not be a baby. Kind of like getting a puppy. Cute,yes, but it only stays a puppy for a few years, it will be a dog for the next 10. Has your dd ever been around babies? Have you thought of simply babysitting? It would be a great way for your dd to get to interact and love on a baby, while at the same time, not adding that responsibility to your life permanently. I guess the question is whether or not you really want another child of your own, or do you just miss having a baby around once in a while? Borrow one over night lol you will think wow I must have been crazy off my rocker I had one over night a few years ago, by morning I couldn't wait to give him back!
I guess you're right. I don't want babies because they're cute. I don't them because my daughter want them . I want them because I think it could be possible for me to raise another child.Am I confident of my decision ...Not really. I guess we as moms have mind of our own. I am sure God will guide me to the right decision...That I should be confident about. until then Good night
I'm not sure what kind of family you want to have, but I have always wanted a HUGE family! We are expecting baby #3 in November, and we have an almost 3 year old and an 18 month old, both boys. Homeschooling all of them does seem daunting, especially doing that and a daycare at the same time (in which case I have 3 more children over at my house). Have faith! Pray! If things seem daunting to you, and you don't know where to turn, just pray to god to help you out! Just like you said, Have Confidence in yourself as a mom, a leader, as an individual, and a woman of faith!!!
Where do you see yourself 20 years from now, or 30? Do you think you would look back and regret not having another child? I don't know, how many people at 50 or 60 years of age, think wow I wish I didn't have children? Well maybe some do, but mostly I think more people probably regret not having them. ? Just something to think about. It sounds as if you do want one, but you are concerned about the work involved, and how it will affect your dd's schooling? It would be hard at first, but after awhile you will find a routine and the new addition will seem normal and your dd's will turn out just fine! There are other options as well. You could consider putting the baby in a day care or at a babysitter for 2 days a week? or 3 hours a day? Maybe grandma? or even have a sitter come over to your home for a few hours a day? Are their teenagers at your church that could come and do some cleaning, errands, tutoring, or sitting for you a few hours a week to help lighten the work load for a while? You may need to asign more chores to your dd's. Does your husband have the time to help more with hs the girls or chores around the house ect. ect. I would just spend some time planning out how I would get hs done, keep up the house, cooking, errands, and take care of the baby, while still having some private time for myself, as well as spending time with dh. On another note, it sounds like your girls will be growing up pretty quickly the next couple of years, be starting their teens and they should be a bigger help to you and around the house. Some areas have hs groups that meet, maybe your girls could get involved with something like that, and it could lighten your load some? I personally don't like to be involved with much outside of home, as I find it is just MORE work! I limit my girls' activities- extra sports/groups and things, I don't like to commit to too much. Of course finances could make the decision for you, do you feel that you could financially afford another baby...And you may have to upgrade to a van... and where would the new child have his/her bedroom, ect.
Do what feels right to you. I personally want a very large family. I have 5, we are trying for #6. I have a 4 year gap between #4 and #5 and I have to say I had the same feelings of "starting over" and I worried about homeschooling and everything. It worked out quite well for us. In fact it worked out better than I thought it would. Of course each family is different, so follow your feelings and pray. I know I would regret not having children if I knew I wanted more.
Thank you ladies for the suppoer. As you could tell, it's not an easy decision but for some reason, i wanted to share it with you. I know God will guide me.Maybe it meant to be for me or maybe it's not meant to be for me. Thank you again
I didn't get married until I was in my 30's. Rachael was born just short of my 35th b-day, and Phillip when I was 40. So I KNOW about being an "older mom"! I always said that if I had started ten years earlier, I would have one of those BIG families! As it is, when I was expecting Phillip, another woman in my Bible Study was also expecting. She was my age, and we BOTH decided that this was IT!!! Pregnancy at 40 is a lot different than pregnancy at 30!!! And it really did comfort me that Liz understood, and Liz was "done", too! There were many times when I really wanted another, and I would tell myself, "No, I can't go through this again, and besides, Liz is done, too!" And wouldn't you know, Liz ended up pregnant again! I went home and bawled my eyes out!!! Then I thought I was pregnant for a while, but it turned out to be mixed-up hormones. Carl summed it up when the test was negative with "Can it be possible to be relieved and disapointed at the same time?" And that's exactly how it felt!!! At times, I really wish we had tried again, and others I'm glad we were "done". I don't know what to tell you, but pray about it and go with your heart. You've not said anything about your husband. How would he feel about another one at this stage in your life?
Handsome was 40 when Ems was born. With the other girls being up to 12 years older than Ems, He wanted to stop for a few reasons. The main reason was because he was worried that if we had another, he would be 60+ when the child turned 20. I am much younger than my husband and could have pulled off another baby, not that I wanted to. LOL His reasons were more that understandable because age is something to think about for many reasons; whether you are 35 or 45.
I wanted to add that I am not saying you should or shouldn't. I just wanted to share Handsome's perspective on having more. It is actually funny. He mentions every now and then if I want to try for another. Then he laughs. I think the thought does cross his mind but now that he is almost 52, he knows it isn't an option.
interstingly, My husband is always giving me the option to decide whether we should add another child or not. He is always worried that I might get overwhelmed with babies and homeschooling at the same time. Now, I could tell that he's giving reasons that it's possible to add another child to the family and my older girls should be helful hands by now I think we both are worried about are age.and the age gap between the kids is getting bigger and bigger. He now asking me Not to worry about it and if it happens it happens.
Ems loves the age difference. Her sisters are her BIG sisters and they shower her with toys, candy, and gifts when they come over. It got to the point that we nicely told them to save their money or buy Ems something she could use. Her closet looked like an overstocked Toys R Us. LOL When our oldest comes over, she take Ems for ice cream, dinner, to shop for birthday clothing, or just a sister time at a burger place. Ems calls them to share a poem she learned or something exciting in her day. She really looks up to her sisters and she is sooo proud when they come to church with us. She has to make it clear that they are her BIG sisters.
Randa, you might remember my Jeannie is 9 like your oldest. I had a scare back in November, I think it was, when my cycle didn't come. Then I was hungry all the time, and I believe I even got neauseated(SP?)! For me, I was giantly happy I ended up not pregnant. I couldn't homeschool once a baby had been born, and most likely all Jeannie's extra things would come to an end. My husband was not a support when Jeannie showed up, so I know how it would go.Plus, I'm 45 in a week. I have no energy for an infant and all that commotion.Course, I said that at 34, when I found out Jeannie was coming! So, I'm settling in,waiting for the tween phase to strike! There's so much yet to come, to experience with Jeannie.
Me too! Yeah! Another "older mom!" My mother was 40 when her last baby came, and she often said that having younger children keeps you young. (It apparently did for her, anyway! At 70, she was still working circles around women half her age!) All the answers here included good things for you to consider. I just wanted to weigh in on our joys of still having young kids in the house. When otherwise the 50's and 60's decades might sound scary, we're still head-over-heels in helping our teens formulate their "dreams ahead" & can't think much about being middle age. Plus then the grandchildren get fun uncles and aunts to play with! PS. I went back to re-read your OP and saw your Q about homeschooling while pregnant and nursing. Homeschooling needn't increase your burdens. It can let you set your own priorities and expand your educational goals. A sad phenomona which is prevelant in the government schools is lack of interest in learning and a general lack of interest in life. The excitement of learning is what we can always encourage in our children. A baby might not interfere with that as much as you fear.
I am with Jackie, my wonderful husband of many years and I were older parents. Not by choice. we went through years of test and drugs to get our two wonderful, miracle babies, who mean the world to us. many times I wish I could of started earlier, then again, I look at some of these younger moms and they are always leaving there kids with who ever will take them so they can party and have fun. Me when my girls were born I was done and my girls have only seen a sitter 3 times in there life, no daycare nothing. They are what keeps me young and going. So, all I say is pray and think about it. Its wonderful being a older parent.
Is it amazing how we as moms/homeschool think? Sometimes I want the joy of a new addition and other days I have no energy to start again when my days are full with 2 preteen dds. Like most of you said, It's in all the hand of GOD. I reached a point where I don't want to think about it any more.
