I'm being selfish and self-centered this Mother's Day.

Didnt have time to read the other posts, but here in my 2 cents, for what its worth.

You are not your dh's mother so the way I see it, he can celebrate Mother's Day with his mom and you can celebrate it with your kids. I can see why he wants to be with his mom. But then I don't really see what all the fuss is about because, isn't Mother's Day, every day? Didn't card companies make up Mother's Day to sell more cards? LOL

 

Well somebody must've been praying for me because I had a change of heart today while I was preparing for MIL's visits, putting sheets on the futon sofa in the guest room. It just hit me: She's a mom too and her boys are all grown up and don't appear to be concerned with making her feel special on Mother's Day, so I will.

I'll have my special weekend next weekend. I just hope we all get along and have a nice visit.

 

Beezer- What a great attitude to have!

 

Super attitude, Beezer!!!

 

What a sweet new attitude

I hope the weekend goes well for you.

 

Thanks everybody! :hug:

So far so good.

 

Here's what I think.

99% of the time, I'm totally unselfish (as are a lot of moms I know) We do without a lot of things so our kids (and hubby) can have not only the things they need, but the things they want. I know I have, I know other moms that have too.

Hubby has been out of work for a year. We are living off his unemployment check. It doesn't even make ends meet much less leave any extra. (we have to borrow at LEAST $300/mo from my parents) This last year I have went hungry to save money. I quit drinking juice and milk so my kids can have it. I think it's safe to say, any mother on this board would do the same.

I'm the 1st one up and the last one to bed.

If anyone gets sick I take care of them. When I'm sick, I still take care of everyone else.

So why should I feel bad about wanting 2 days a year to be all about me? (Mother's Day and birthday) I bend over backwards to make sure Father's Day and hubby's birthday is all about him. I go all out for each of the kids' birthdays. Why don't I deserve the same??

I think it's okay to be selfish sometimes. I think we NEED to be selfish sometimes.

A lot of times, hubby and kids and others take us for granted. The depend on us and assume we will always do what needs to be done. People get taken for granted often. I know I have been taken for granted, and have taken others for granted.

It's not a bad thing to remind them twice a year what all we do and we shouldn't be taken for granted. It's nice for someone to make a fuss over you.

So, let MIL have Mother's Day, and your Mother's Day can be next weekend. That's what I'd do.

I do understand though. My mom, his mom and his step-mom all live close, so Mother's day is never really about me but I try for another day close to Mother's Day....

 

I found out my mil is expecting about 27 people tomorrow!!! Partly because my bil's live-in girlfriend is coming with her ENTIRE family...mom, sister, kids (she's divorced with two twenty-something kids).... I'm sorry, but I DON'T consider her family! Well, whatever! I can't get out of it (though my one sil is calling off because her baby needs a nap...never mind they never let me off when MY kids were little....) I doubt I'll stay long, though! I think next year, we'll go to MY parents' instead!

 

Well put! Yes. That about sums it up.

 

Ack! Sound like it'll be a circus!

Do you have to stay there long?

I hope you have portions of your Mother's Day that are filled with peacefulness! (((hug)))

 

well said.

but I think we all have to remember we are not our husband mother. We are mothers to his kids. So, the kids are the ones that need to remember you. Yes if they are little he needs to step up. But, we need to remember he has a mother too. Yes, its hard we do need a day but hey there's always next week end. tell him. Just wait till the little ones grow up they will be there for you and your Mothers Day will be special.
Yes us Mothers do give up alot for our children and always will but that is normal nothing wrong with it. I don't think that will ever change.

 

Because we have church on Saturday evenings, Sunday AM is usually my "sleep-in" day! So this morning, Carl brought the kids up with gifts. I got a bag of jelly beans and a new electric griddle. The cord had gone out of the old one, and to order a new one on-line plus shipping would have been almost as much as a new one! This one has a warming tray under it, which will be nice. I also got something else, I think, but I sure can't remember what it was right now! NOT a hanging basket, so I'll have to buy one! I also got breakfast in bed.

After spending time at my mil's (and no, I don't plan on staying too long!), Rachael has a soccer game. I'm hoping tonight will be fairly peaceful, though! Oh, and Rachael made me the sweetest card, too!

 

Well said, Kris! And remember, how you treat your mom and you mil will come back to you when your kids are grown!

 

I had a terrific Mother's Day yesterday, Saturday. We drove to dd's, and she and her dh fixed us a tapas supper on the grill! Today was church, and right now dh is in the kitchen fixing me a breakfast-for-lunch. Then I'm going to have a nap!

Maybe ds will call, maybe not.

 

Well, things went fine at my mil's, though I think there were more people there that I DIDN'T know than those I did!

And THEn we went to the soccer game.... To start off, it's a co-ed team, and you must have at least two girls on the field at all times. Well, the opposing team had NO girls, and not even enough players to play, so they forfeited. But no one really wants to do that, so we lent them three girls and played a scrimage. At half-time those three girls changed for three other ones, Rachael included. One of our players got red carded (which really shouldn't have happened; it should have been yellow!) and I guess their players were making all kinds of inappropriate remarks to our girls who were playing with them. Then at the end (never mind they won the game!) one of their players came over to our side and said something, so our coach started to push him away and told him to get off our side, and the ref had to deal with it. Rachael said that the other two girl players in particular were ready to walk off the field because of their attitude, but was able to stick it out.

But now I'm home! Ready to rest the rest of the day. I'm hoping Carl will tell the girls that they should clean up the kitchen for me....

 

Wow! That soccer game sounds crazy! Did your coach talk to the opposing team's coach about what happened?

 

UPDATE: I have gone all-out and been the nicest DIL I know how to be. I gave her the Mother's Day present after lunch and she didn't have anything to say. I think she may have mumbled 'thank you' but she didn't seem to like it. (It was three very nice candles from Smell Goodies.) She opened one (there were three different ones) and gave no indication that she intended to reach into the bag to check out the other two. Thinking that maybe she didn't realize there was more in the bag, I reached in and took them out for her. She didn't have much to say. I don't know if she was shocked at the gesture or just didn't like them. Hmmmm.

Strangely, less than an hour later MIL suddenly announced that she was going to Hammond to spend the night at her boyfriend's house.

I don't think it is a reflection on our hospitality, rather that they live in different states and don't get much face time with each other. But it still took me by surprise and left me with the thought, "What? Are we THAT boring?" But I really think it's just a 'boyfriend' thing for her. My FIL died three years ago, so I don't begrudge her spending time with her new boyfriend.

She'll be back tomorrow afternoon, spend the night here and then fly back home Tuesday morning.

So, I guess 'Dysfunctional weekend' continues tomorrow afternoon. :wink:

 

The other coach new what was going on. I think the ref made it clear! Oh, and the "inappropriate comments" were not sexual in nature, just rude, especially considering our girls were playing on their team.

As far as your mil, YOU did the best you could! However she choses to respond, you can walk with your head high, knowing you did the right thing!

 

I just hate un-sportsmanlike behavior. How frustrating!

Yes. I'm going to continue to make sure my behavior is irreproachable so that I know I've done all I could. Maybe it's nothing I said or did and just MIL wanting to be with her boyfriend. I really hope that's it.

 

I wish I could have a better attitude. We've been married 9 years and I've never gotten a mother's day present. His mother gets a big hug and a present plus he brings he kids over if she doesn't make it to church.The first few years I got really upset especially when i had three kids under five and he'd say well you're not my mother Now after five kids it doesn't make me any less upset but sometimes i just wanna yell Yeah but I'm the mother of your children the least you could give me is a hug :evil: I stopped doing father's day a couple of years ago I take the kids to my dad's mwuahahaahahha :lol: