Alright, my daughter is going to turn 3 end of this month. I have tried some things with her and will be doing more classes now that I am a stay at home Mom (planning to babysit other kids her age and just teach them at the same time, figure 2 kids will mean I can pay the bills and spend time with her). The problem is that she refuses to let anyone else be aware that she is capable of speaking full sentences, she has even started to refuse to cooperate with me in learning activities though I do my best to make them fun. I've started research online and found a good curriculum I like to download once I can afford the yearly fee (it really isn't that much), but I'm getting worried that I am doing something wrong that is making her behave this way.
Is she being shy around others? I have a DD that will be 3 in September. She too can speak very well and knows her numbers, colors, and many letters. However when we are around other people, that are not our immediate family, she reverts to 2-3 words sentences and rarely comments on the colors of things or numbers. I assume that she is shy or just being silly. Do you think your DD will be comfortable around the other kids? I will be starting my DD in the fall with a pre-K program, however since she is starting a year earlier then she would in ps I am taking it easy and playing off of her cues (ie Dora the Explorer is a subject that I fit into our curriculum, she can watch it while I am working with my older DD). I would say to get the curriculum but work with her at her pace. She might decide that its fun working with the other kids.
I think for a kid like her, it's still too early. some kids thrive on early education and some will tell you very clearly that they're not ready. I am an advocate of "late" education and my son didn't start learning letters till he was 5 and at almost 8 is a beginning reader that shows no interest in the skill. My daughter would not speak in public till 2nd grade and her Sunday school teacher always asked me if there was a "problem". I just figured she would talk when she had something to express. eventually she did and now you can't shut the girl up! I would give it some more time and then try it again in a few months to see if she's more receptive to the idea.
TOO EARLY, TOO EARLY! Why are you trying to "teach" her at this young age? I would give this a great deal of thought. What is motivating you? At this age they really just need to do kid things. Imagine, explore and have fun. I run a daycare in my home and have for the past 10 years. We read, sing and do a craft, but not every day. Most days the kids play so nice on their own together, without my help. One of my daycare kids is so smart. My dd has learned a lot from him. He is the type of kid that knew how to count to 20 when he was 1. My dd is 4 and still can't count to 5 some days. Do I panic? No! She is my 5th and all my other children were the same way. My ds is in 1st grade and is 7. Last year I gave up trying to teach him to read. This year he started in Sept. not knowing his letter sounds. He now is reading on a 2nd grade level. If you push they will push back even harder. :love: Offer fun games and crafts, but don't push she is SOOO Young!
I am curious, why does she need to show people that she can speak in sentences? ...and I do believe you are pushing too hard. She will never be this age again. As the years pass, she will have plenty of time to speak to people in sentences and do a formal curriculum. For now, let her be the youngster she is and enjoy learning through play and discovery. She will learn so much more if she can be who she is and that is an almost three year old. Remember, just because something seems fun to you, doesn't mean it is for her. Find her interests and go from there. Good luck and welcome!
Some kids are just shy. My oldest was VERY shy around 3 or 3.5. He'd pretend he was younger all the time, and I was ok with that. I figured it was because he had a new brother and wanted the attention. I'm a firm believe in teaching a child whatever they want to know as long as it's on the right emotional level (there are some things children just don't need to know even when they ask!). If she wants to learn, she'll learn. Make every moment a learning opportunity. While she's playing, or while you're at the store, say "where's the red one?" or "can you hand me that blue box, please?". If she wants to know what red and blue mean, she'll either ask or she'll pick up something hoping to be corrected or praised. If she doesn't, she'll give you the "huh?!" look and go on about her business. I don't think she needs a full curriculum in order to be taught. Let the world be your guide. Nature is a good teacher.
First...I am thinking you asked the question because you already had an idea about the answer... second...deep breath, these children of ours, don't have to prove anything to anybody...right? They are lovely little people and come with thier own quirks. Just enjoy you dd and the kiddo's you are sitting for. Count your blessings that you will have this opportunity to spend time with your dd!! Read stories...(the same ones over and over if she gets to pick.) and play play play play...there will be plenty of time for curriculum.
Um...I say plan on teaching the kids you're watching. She'll participate in her own way. She'll also learn TONS and you won't even be aware. And who cares if other people know she can speak-in any way!!! Unless she needs to do it for therapists or something.... My daughter will be 5 in a few days. She's fully eloquent-to the point of telling her "boys" how things are to get done and not done - but if you don't live in my house-you wouldn't know it. Last thing-um, 3 for me, is always hard. Smart enough to teach-young enough to NEED YOU TO PLAY WITH HER. Go with the need.
I am teaching her the alphabet, colors, shapes, basic counting, and some basic vocabulary. My curriculum isn't 'formal' so much as it is made up of little lessons that last as long as she wants the lesson to last throughout the day (longest lasting lesson was the alphabet song, it ended not when she wanted it to, but when Mommy's voice was going out). She isn't interested in reading at all (books get torn into pieces in fact) so I am staying away from it at the moment and concentrating on lessons she enjoys. She doesn't need to show off that she is able to speak, but it concerns me that she will not with anyone other then me. I'm being harassed to get her into speech therapy. And I was reading by her age, I'm not pushing her beyond what is her level (key note is hers not mine, hence my putting all of the books away), but I do have moments of depression where I ask stupid questions when she gets into another of her stubborn streaks. Of which she does often.
I think it's sad mothers feel pressure to teach their 3 year olds to read or follow a formal curriculum. (and many, many mothers feel this way) I hate it when mothers get together and start comparing their kids trying to out-do each other with how smart or talented their kids are. There is no reason a 3 year old should expected to read or be expected to keep up with every other 3 year old on the planet. Just because one can read at 3, doesn't mean they should all have to. And this isn't "directed" at you, I see it all the time. Moms wanting their kids not to just succeed, but to excel at everything and out do all the other kids. And then they feel like a bad mom if little Suzie isn't as "smart" and little Jane. Let them be kids! Yes, there are some 3 year olds that WANT to learn to read and do. I was reading by 4. My son was FORCED to learn to read and write in public school this year (kindergarten age 5-6) and he just changed, he was so stressed, I'm so glad it's almost over. Learning should be FUN! Especially at such a young age. My 3 year old is doing a phonics program online this summer, but only cause he WANTS to. (wants to be like big brother) but if he wasn't interested, I wouldn't worry about teaching him phonics right now. With kids under 8-I say don't force them to learn anything specific, let them led. They'll learn more, faster and retain it better when they are taught concepts when they are ready to learn them. And it's a lot less stressful on mom and child. As far as others suggesting speech therapy? Who is suggesting it? Some kids are just terribly shy. I was at that age. Terribly, terribly shy. My kids, on the other hand, have never met a stranger! LOL If you know she can speak well enough, then don't worry about it. She doesn't have to 'perform' for everyone to be 'normal' she's just shy, and that's okay. Now my 3 year old will start "school" next year, as he keeps asking to (wants to be like big brother) so I signed him up for preschool classes at co-op. At home, his "worksheets" will be coloring pages. There will be no expectation of him to learn to read or write. We'll play games, make crafts, read books, watch educational shows and call it school. But at 3, I'm not expecting anything much from him other than to enjoy learning what he wants to at that moment. She might be picking up on your "pressure" From your posts, I think YOU feel pressured for her to learn things and "preform" as expected for others. Kids can pick up on this. And I think almost all parents start out this way, I really do, but you learn, as you get older, more experience (and usually more kids, LOL) to relax and not worry about what others think/say. It may seem like 'fun' to you, but she may see it differently. I'd back off and just follow her lead. Kids this age pick up so much just by watching you, watching educational shows, watching other kids, playing, singing, helping mom or dad around the house and living life. Take her to story time at the library. Let her pick out her own books, and read them to her, take a walk, ask her what she sees, hears, smells, feels. Go visit an aquarium or children's museum. Go to the park, the playground. She'll be asking to learn again in no time, once she isn't feeling pressured.
All kids are different. Just because you were reading at her age you can’t expect her to do the same. My young DS read by age 4 while my oldest didn’t read until he was 7ish. I am all for learning but… If you try to make her do something she’s not interested in she will just begin to hate it. Alphabet, colors, shapes, basic counting, and some basic vocabulary are good I think, but I don’t know too many 3 year olds that can read. I know some but not many. Don’t let people intimidate you into putting her into therapy. You are her mom and you know what’s best for her. She may just be shy. My young DS would run and hide from people when they spoke to him until he was about 6. Yet at home his mouth went a mile a minute and it still does!
She sounds like a typical 3 year old. Perhaps you need to back off and allow her to be a typical toddler. Apparently she is not ready for this type of instruction (who could blame her) and pick up when she is ready, perhaps in a year or so. My youngest son was ready at 3 1/2 to read and write without any hassles or struggles, but that is him and by no means does that mean ALL 3 1/2 year olds need to learn how to read and write at that age. If you force a child you will kill their love of learning, let her be a kid right now. :love:
Please do not feel that I am picking on you.................. You stated that you have moments of depression and so on, this concerns me. When I sub at the local ps I see parents bringing in their preschool kids and the kids act just like the parents, emulating their crankiness, mood swings and dirty looks to others. Always be aware of how your child will perceive you. I feel bad when I see a preschooler acting JUST like her mom after the mom leaves, mood swings, uneven mood levels, just an emotional mess. I say to let your child be a three year old. I would back off of any instruction or enroll her in an early preschool to help her have situations where she needs to talk. There is a little boy who wasn't able to talk because all he had to do was point and grunt. They enrolled him in early preschool and also speech therapy and now he is a gabber!
I absalutely do not think the child needs speech therapy. If she is talking to you but just not engaging with other adults...so what. leave her alone. There is nothing wrong with pointing and grunting...my dh still does that. lol. but really...relax. she will be fine. Stubborness goes along with toddlerness. I agree that you have mentioned things that are concerning...that YOU were reading at 3, that you think you may be pushing too much, and that you get depressed when she acts a certain way. So if anyone could use someone to talk to...maybe you do? find an older experienced mom you can talk to if you don't want to do more formal counseling... and in the you get what you pay for and it was free advice catagory... Kari's observations on parenting. 1. They are not here for the same reasons we had them. 2. Don't take credit for the great things your kids do, and maybe you can sneak out of the blame for the bad. 3. Show up. That is what your kids will remember, that you were THERE.
Ok, first a simple answer---YES, you are pushing too hard. Kids don't come with a program that tells them that they need to be on someone's time schedule or they are behind. As far as she is concerned, she may just not want to speak as much with other people around. That is OK, nothing is wrong IMO. Remember Einstein didn't speak until 4 or 5 years old. My son spoke at the normal time (I think), but at the store or around a lot of people he would barely whisper and I couldn't even hear him. It frustrated me and I didn't give him patience. I wish I had--he was and still is a wonderful person--why did I let that bother me? As far as curriculum goes, please don't do anything formal. Let her color, and outside the lines as much as she wants. Let her get dirty. Let her ask questions and jump and climb.
Yes, questions! That's a big thing of mine, if your kids ask a question, answer it! If you don't know the answer, find out. And ask your kids questions, make them think. You would be surprised how much kids learn from just talking. With no book or worksheet or anything. I hate it when I see a kid ask a question and their parent just says "I don't know" and brushes them off. (not saying you do this) but if a kid asks something, it means they want to know and are ready to learn that information. If they then find out the answer, they are more likely to remember it, because it was information they were looking for (by asking the parent) I encourage my kids to ask questions and I ask them questions all the time to make them think. Just talking to your kids is one of the best ways to teach them.
