my friend whom I felt this way about is no longer around. Due to circumstances beyond both our control our lives have moved apart. There was not a falling out, but things have definitely changed. It has been one of the most painful events of my life. The circumstances led me to question so much about my own life.
We always have to keep in mind that just because we "wish for or want" a friend doesn't mean that we are sending out the vibes that we are accepting of that friendship. If you send out vibes making someone feel like you are closing a door, they wont bother.
ALL THE TIME. We couldn't even get a family member to help out when I had to have emergency surgery and we had 1 car to get me there-and it didn't fit (legally) all of us. All my friends are 1. far away, 2. just starting to have kids or not interested in kids, 3. well, I don't have hardly any.....and yes. I wish this all the time. I think its why I read so much on here.....at least I can relate a little to people. Yep yep yep.
I feel the same way. Last week was a really rough one for me, I could have used a shoulder or an nonjudgemental ear. I hope you find what you are looking for some day soon.
yes, I agree but sometimes its hard. I feel uncomfortable when people give me things. Now that sounds wrong right. What I meet is I feel like I owe them something now. I feel like I need to do something. I don't know. That is something I need to work on. A friend needs to be someone you can talk too about anything and not be afraid too.
Naw-I don't like when someone is an acquaintance type and suddenly I'm being given stuff.....I want someone to want to be my friend cuz we chat, and have "fun" not because we give each other things back and forth. And yeah-I ALWAYS feel like I need to do one back...not exactly like I owe them...but kinda. And I have had friends I couldn't talk to about certain things-but I can't stand really judgemental people....and being catholic (alot of people who are good christians are severely anti-catholic) and homeschooling...well there's a few that are judgemental and just refuse to try and relate.
You should receive a gift in the spirit in which it was given. If it has strings attached then you don't need that person as a friend, but if they are trying to lift your spirits and you spit in their face then shame on you!
hmmmm my gifts are usually because people feel we don't have enough. I really like when people make us food, or ask if we would like some hand me down clothes....but I've had people give us things because they had it lying around...and I never quite know how to respond to that. I think I was raised in a way that if someone gives you something you need to "repay" the gift....I find now, with my husband's guidance and teaching, that genuine gifts-don't need a repayment other than the thankfulness. My problem is that so often I find myself surrounded by disgenuine people (has alot to do with my family.....).
I am sorry that you are surrounded by people who are not sincere and genuine. Sounds like you have a very smart honey! I work at the ps as a Teacher's Aide and Substitute Teacher. I work in the mornings teaching reading comp and fluency. I started a warm fuzzy program with the kids and they have really embraced it. I made several hundred warm fuzzies and when the jar was empty was had a warm fuzzy party. My ds made a cake that looked just like a warm fuzzy. http://www.homeschoolspot.com/showthread.php?t=20504&highlight=warm+fuzzy Here is the warm fuzzy post and pics of the wf's. I have from time to time shared warm fuzzies with others to lift their spirits and I think that it has worked. Those are a small and very genuine gift. As far as someone giving you something they just had laying around..... I have one thought on that. Perhaps they feel if they aren't using something it is a sin to not share with others. I developed a very serious case of asthma nearly four years ago and since then I had to stop burning candles even though I really would enjoy them. I had oodles of Yankee Candles that were just partially burned, brand new candles and about 6 dozen new tarts. I have shared them with friends who also enjoy the frangrance of candles. I didnt share to be insincere, or to tell them I think they are too poor to buy Yankee Cancles, I shared because I knew that I could no longer enjoy them but knew friends and family who would be blessed to have the candles-I wanted someone else to enjoy. Everybody was very thankful when I shared them.
My DH and I are workign on changing the people that surround us...I love the idea of the warm fuzzies! You make a really good point witht he candle story...I have the unfortunate luck of knowing some people that lierally said, "oh I just had it laying around"... I decided after the 4th person said this that maybe, just maybe, it is something someone says so you don't feel any obligations....kind of trying to make it seem less important. It made me a little sad - I would prefer someone just saying: Oh, I had this and I thought you miht like it... but I have tried to change my thinking on intentions-or if that seems too difficult that day, to just focus on being grateful. I liked you story though. Good perpective to have.
Dusting off my soap box: You know sweetie, some people might feel as awkward giving it to you as you receiving it. I don't think that MOST people approach things in a hurtful manner, sometimes it just comes out like that. Some are just not well spoken and are clumsy in their use of words for that particular occasion. Like I tell my boys.... "When someone shows you HOW they are, believe them the first time and dont have them show you over and over". What does this mean? If someone has always been kind and helpful to you and "clumsy" words come out of their mouth, you might just let them slide and realize they care for you. Now, if you run into someone who has had a history of being ugly and ugly words come out of their mouth, I would question it, say, "what do you mean by that". Be your own advocate, advocate for yourself if you are feeling uncomfortable. Changing people around you, always worth the effort. The teacher that I sub for came over yesterday and said that I was rubbing off on her students. Several forgot their homework and said, "I did not take the responsibility to remember to do my homework last night". I dont take excuses, I will only accept an explanation if the student takes responsibility for failing to do the task at hand. So changing others, I think there is always hope. Also, you can surround yourself with those who make you feel good about yourself. (((( )))) Blessings! Receive a gift in the spirit in which is was given! :love:And always remember, wear clean underwear in case of an accident and................................ Giggle, giggle, snort, snort! Some people are like a Slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs. Life is short! Forgive quickly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably and Let your Light shine brightly for all the world to see!!!!. Stepping off my soap box! (((( ))))
Hahaaa...you're adorable. Doesn't sound too soap boxy to me....words to ponder. I'm not good with dealing with people's intentions or trying to decide if what I heard was what they said.... So, we have found some serious "ichy" people and kinda moved away from them...and have started to see that those holes have been replaced by some very fabulous people. Now I have to go change my underwear....just in case.
Ever see Green Tea shooting out of someone's nose? Well that was me when I read your comment about the underwear! Too funny girl! :love:
