I just had a fun conversation with a friend about funny things parents say. So, without giving context, what are some things that you've said to your kids that you would have never imagine saying? Today: "Stop throwing the house!" My fave to date: "You can't have any more broccoli until you finish your chocolate cake!"
One I can't put here where kids might see it but it had to do with my older sister telling my two year old son to stop hitting his roast beef with a spoon. It didn't come out the way she meant it to and my daddy almost choked to death when she said it.
Don't stick that stick up the dogs butt. It's still there, get your hands out of your pants. It's just turkey not turkey buzzard! Austin colored his what!?! They let YOU carry a gun?! Take your socks off BEFORE you get in the shower next time.
Seriously! Will you PUT THE BOOK DOWN and just watch the tv!! It isn't going to kill you! Put the vacuum DOWN-gently-don't throw it.... Werewolves could possibly wear clothes when they "hulk out" and even so....most still at least have their pants on. YES, even though they're furry. No-I do NOT think that if you eat more carrots your inner rabbit will come out - although I think a furry tail on your touche would be cute. Aw, come one...just do the butt butt dance one more time.....
Oh and one that is related to a HORRIBLE cursing epidemic that occurred....you'll have to figure it out.... "Well, unless you actually know someone that uses a ROOSTER for a LOLLIPOP, you may not say that."
Oh I too have been guilty of saying shut your mouth and eat. I really felt dumb when I said that one.
LOL @ this thread. My oldest son who, at this time in his life, was a BIG prankster. He'd call and say he was "at the ER because he had broken his arm", or he "was at the police station". Sometimes he would have his friends call me to make it even more believable. WELL, I was at work one day, he called and said "Mom, I need to go to the ER, I cut my hand and I need stitches"...he had been helping a friends dad unload metal sheets. I was still not believing him....well, he kept insisting it was true. I finally told him........"I am on my way, but I SWEAR if you are not bleeding to death when I get there, I'm gonna kill you" LMAO!!! It was true........talk about feeling like a heel. His prankster phone calling pretty much died out after that incident.
I'm sooooooo LOL at this! I say crazy things all the time. Probably the most recent was, "Does putting your hand in your pants help you grow up big and strong? No. So quit doing it." (In reference to something in the Abeka 1st grade health reader. Can't remember what. Funny and "could be taken the wrong way" looking back at it, but serious at the time. :lol: )
quit putting M&Ms in your brothers belly button. Get that kitten out of your mouth! baby chicks do not belong on my bed! we do not say "perky boobs" in public. this thread has made me feel soooo much better about my family!LOL
DH says to the waitress no thanks I'm still nursing this glass of tea, DS7 says "only babies nurse", I reply with "this is a different kind of nursing". oh and the same night I also said "we don't use the word boobies in public please" "don't put blocks in the dogs butt" "no you may not measure that with a ruler" "where is the baby's chewie?"
'Quit playing with your penis, you can only do that in private.' 'Don't cry, your squash will grow bigger soon' 'no more green beans, you're going to have a belly ache' (and he later did) 'I don't need help cleaning'
Wish I could think of something specific that wasn't some sort of Freudian slip. :lol: Enjoying this thread!
The following conversation actually occured at my house. Mom- The wieny thief has not snitched it off in the last 5 seconds so quit putting your hands in your pants to check! Ds- I'm not check to see if its there! I'm making sure it's pointed in the right direction! Mom- :shock: (Groan) I didn't ask because I didn't want to know! Marty
I love this thread!! Lots of giggles Let's see... what goofy things have I said lately?? Can't think of any off the top of my head, but I'll keep my radar up today, lol.
This thread is so funny! "You cannot physically force someone to do what you want. Now, if you do that again, I will spank you." Have fun with that you anti-spankers! lol. "Can you stop reading for just a minute?" "No more apples today. Here take a cookie." (Kara was throwing her apples.) I posted on conversations with my kids some time ago..if you are interested here's the link: http://www.underthegoldenappletree.com/2009/10/daily-conversations-with-my-kids.html
"Quit laughing or you are going to get spanked!"...(followed by snickering, a spanking, and then HYSTERICAL laughter by the offending child) :roll:
