:shock:Here's the deal. I had pulled both of my boys out of PS here, and have homeschooled them for 2 years. My oldest is now 17 (technically a sophmore), would be junior next year. Ok, so here's the thing.........he wants to go back!!! And that's not the worst of it, when we pulled him from PS, we did the whole deschooling thing the first year. I'm in a panic, because I'm afraid he won't know anything! Someone PLEASE ease my fears here. How will he catch up with his credits he doesn't have? We're in Texas, and they are required 4 science, 4 math, 4 english credits. How will these be made up? He missed his freshman and sophmore year. I was thinking if I got him signed up by tomorrow (which is the end of PS school year), then he could do summer school, and that would help. I don't know, I just know I am sweating bullets! Thanks in advance
Why did you pull him? Why does he want to go back? Maybe you can tell him he can go back, but as a sophmore...?
My ds has mild/moderate agoraphobia and high anxiety. He was also diagnosed with ulcerative colitis about 3 years ago (which can be difficult to manage, especially when you are in a school setting, and suffer with anxiety). We had a long battle with the school trying to get some help, to no avail. They would NOT do a 504 plan with us. He missed alot of days, either due to anxiety issues, or due to his Ulcerative Colitis. Anyhoo, he has expressed wanting to go back for a few months now, and I figured it would wear off. But it hasn't. I told him, when we pulled him, that he could go back when he felt he was ready and if he really enjoyed hs'ing we would stick with it. He has a great social life, many friends and is always gone with friends doing something. I'm not sure WHY he wants to go back. I don't want to tell him he CAN'T go. I do think he is old enough to decide where he wants to go to school at. Geez, I just don't know. I'm at a loss here.
So he wants to go back to be with his friends? Why does he think it will be any better this time? What HAS he done for the past two year? I understand needing to "deschool", so none of us are going to get after you if you list just a few things, that's not what we're here for. But it would help to know what he HAS accomplished.
First of all, isn't he still a minor, and that means you make the choices, not him? I understand you want to work with him on this, but in the end, you're still the parent. Be aware that the public school MAY insist that he go in as a ninth grader! OR, they MAY insist that he take a "final exam" in each course that he claims credit for, which means (for example, in order to enter as a junior) English I and English II, Algebra I and Geometry, Physical Science and Biology, World History and Civics/Free Enterprise, plus Health/PE. OR they could give him one English test and then place him in a 9th, 10th, 11th, or 12th grade course accordingly, then a Math test and place him whatever, accordingly, and so on. It's all up to the school.
when my ds wanted to go out to school I gave him a talk, I explained whhere he had to be to get to go out, as in your ds would have to work hard and bring himself up to where he should be in school in order to get to go out for say his senior year or something.. that gives him incentive and a goal
Ok, first I am not sure if you are stressing about something that is real or not? Has he been doing school at all? Or have you been unschooling completely? He is almost an adult, so he needs to take some responsability toward his goals and plans for life and for school. Find out from the school what classes he needs to have had to qualify as a sophmore/junior whatever...now look at what he has done. How many of those classes can you consider he has done? If you all have been unschooling you can divide the things he HAS done into catagories to count for classes...or if he hasn't done anything. (video games and sleeping) then both of you need to look at the content that he will be required to have, either through testing or whatever the school requires...and figure out how to get there. If you don't know why he wants to go back...he may not know either. This might be one of those things that when he sees what is involved he changes his mind, or it might motivate him, hard to say. But before you stress, find out exactly what the school is going to require and what he would need to do. If this is more a case of you just worrying about whether you have done a "good enough" job...relax. I am sure you have addressed what needed to be addressed. Even with a year "off" to destress.
I would call the school and ask. See what he needs/where he needs to be and go from there before you stress. Then - is it best for your family if he goes back? That's something to ask yourself as well. Will you be running to the school all the time to pull him etc? Things like that.
Definately call the school, you don't even have to tell them who you are, just tell them that your son is going to be a junior, has been homeschooled and is interested in possibly attending that school for his final 2 years. Ask them what is required of him to be considered a junior and to graduate on time. Will he have to take tests to satisfy state requirements for graduation? Will he have to go back a grade or even two? When I put my oldest back in, I called the school and asked. Never told them who we were, just aked what was required... now we weren't facing graduation obviously, so it was easy peasy (now I regret it...lol).
I wouldn't tell the school much. Just sign him back up, IF they test him, ok, IF they don't, I wouldn't mention it. Seriously I wouldn't' send him back, but since you told him he could, I don't see now that you can get out of that.
I agree with the previous poster who said to show him where he needs to be and ask him if he wants to go in as a freshman, (I'd call the school to figure this out, or check on the website of the state dept of education) lengthening his high school career; or he can work like crazy for the next 6 months to a year to catch himself up. He does need to realize that if he goes in as a freshman, by the time his is 18 and all his contemporaries are moving on in life, he will be SO tired of school. And you really don't want him to be a drop out; it would probably be better for him to put his nose to the grindstone for a few months and catch up.
I'm in agreement here until the very last line. A parent has every right and responsibility to change their mind. After carefully considering an issue, people figure out they need to take a different path. Nobody would expect you to retire from a dead-end job just because on day 1 you said you would work for them. I would not send him back as a 17 year old. I'd figure out what he needed to do to earn a diploma from your homeschool. I'm currently reading Senior High: A Home Designed Form+U+La. It is loaded with ideas and information about making your own requirements for graduation. At this stage, it may be very helpful for you and your son to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. He will be an adult very soon. I'd focus on encouraging his heart and helping educate his mind so that he can confidently face the beginning of the rest of his life.
I kinda agree with that last poster, he would be a senior at 17 at the begining of the year... a jounior maybe if he has birthday at end of the year.. but I would not make him have to do more schooling for so many years when some kids grad at 17 some at 18 he would be 19 in his senior year at this point...
Age should not be a factor here. My son going at the rate he is will be 19 at the beginning of his senior year. IMO I would keep him home and have him bust his butt getting where he need to be! Then if he can meet all requirements coming into next year then let him go back. Sending him back behind is just setting him up to fail and is not fair. Is his reasons for wanting to go back to graduate with his friends? If so this will give him even more reason to work as hard as he can to get there.
I also live in TX, and have heard various things about what students entereing high school past 9th grade are given credit for, but I have no personal experience. However, I had a thought about your son's situation. I was not homeschooled, but my parents moved between 8th & 9th grade, and my mother took me to the school in the new district to meet with a counselor to select appropriate courses. It gave me a pretty decent idea of what to expect when I arrived the following autumn. Perhaps you could arrange a similar meeting with whoever schedules/assigns classes/courses (where I attended, it was guidance counselors). A meeting between you, your son, and such a district or school official would give you hard facts about what works he's done will - and will not - count, and how his health issues will or will not be accommodated. I don't have a child that age, but if I did, I'd really want him to go in with as much information as could be gathered. This is just an idea, not advice necessarily. I'm not clear on your son's motivations for returning, and perhaps he isn't, either. The bottom line is what the other posters have presented - what do you believe is best overall for him?
Have you asked him to write out his thoughts on why he would like to go back? Then he could write out the positives and negatives of going back and the positives/negatives of staying home. This might clear up his thinking.
You are the parent and you need to be the one to make the ultimate decision. If your son wants to go back I would have him list 5-10 reasons that he wants to go back, and then you list 5-10 reasons that you think it would be better for him to continue to be homeschooled. Talk with him about his reasons and your reasons. If he can't come up with anything other than "I want to hang out with my friends", then I personally wouldn't send him back. If it is decided to send him back then I would call the school and find out what the requirments are for enrolling him as a sophmore/junior. I would also make it clear that if he goes back that he has to make this easy on you, for example, he needs to stick it out for the year, he needs to try to keep him anxiety under control so you are no having to run to the school all the time. Now I have no idea if that is actually possible for him. He is your son and you know him. My mom pulled me from school my sophmore year and I was hs'ed for the remaining year. I was angry at first but after awhile I realized she has the final say because I was living in her house. It ended up working out great for me and I am now glad she didn't let me go back. I did return my junior year (we had moved states and I wanted to get to know some of the kids in the area, and my mom gave me the choice). Now that I am older I really wish I could have just finished high school being homeschooled. A childs perception of what they want is not always what is best for them. Even at 17, 18 and 19.
you need to see why he wants to go back? Let him know if you go through all this he has to finish the year out and can't miss days. You have to be up front. Ok what class did he do at home, if he did any math or science they will test him out and he should do fine. I don't see any trouble with him going back in, he might have to work a little harder at first. But, I would let him know he will not come home till the year is done and he can't miss tons of days.
ONE thing that may help, the requirements that you listed are one plan to follow. There is an alternative minimum graduation plan that your child could take that includes a few less credits. Here is a link: http://thetrc.org/trc/download/tea/brochure.pdf
