This is a two part post. So over the past two weeks I have heard that phrase at least three times. Twice when we are working on handwriting. He absolutely hates handwriting but he needs the practice. I can see how his writing is improving but I get alot of push back with handwriting. Also we begin our day with the pledge and he did not participate during the pledge. One of our rules is participation so his punishment was to say the pledge all by himeself. Poor boy lost it. He was crying and yelling and repeating the above statement. I did not tell him that in "real school" you have to say the pledge. LOL. Anyway any ideas is this going to get worse or is this pretty normal. Right now I dont really say anything when he says that. Most of the time we have pretty rocking days but when he says certain things it makes me wonder where is this coming from. Next- If someone asks my son what he learned in school today. I notice he does not recall all the cool things we do in class. Sometimes he will mention some of the things, other times he will say "you know." Worst yet sometimes when asked what did you do in school today his reply is "I dont know". I know that he remembers because when we review he's on par but when someone asks him a question it comes off as if he is not learning anything. Is there a way I can resolve this or is my hard work only being stored in his short term memory.
1) I dont understand the "I want to go to REAL school" part. Can you clarify and expand upon that? How old is he? Has he ever been to real school? You should tell him that in many (used to be all) "real" schools they say the pledge. (Find out if it happens in your district, first. Dont wanna mis-inform the boy.) Also, when he's calmer --some time when you aren't doing "school" you can talk with him about why he feels that way. Ask him what is it he wants to do that you dont do with him. Is he lonely? Bored? Feeling isolated? Also, get creative about hand writing. Looking into Draw Write Now or get him a penpal in the community who will do regular snail-mail letters with him. Dont make him drill handwriting as much, maybe one page, just of letters, a day. Yet, have him hand write his assignments in every other subject. Have him keep a daily journal, and make him write 1 paragraph a day, either in the morning about what he wants to do, or will do that day. Or in the evenings about what he did do. Give him coloring pages and/or show him pictures and have him write a little about them. Let him look at and do things that he cares about. If he's a huge fan of some show, maybe have him write a 3-5 page story about his favorite show (give him 2-5 days to do it) and what it would be like if the plot took this turn or if he could be on his favorite super hero team. That could be his language arts assignment for the whole week. Have him write, proofread, illustrate and proofread the story. 2) Thats normal, highly annoying but normal. I have an 11yo cousin who went to PS 1st-5th and practically every time I asked her what she did or learned in school that day, "nothing" or "I dont know" was her answer :roll: I finally told her to STOP saying that foolishness to me (she has a good bit of an attitude problem) and made her recount at least 3 things she did. You shouldn't worry about it too much, but if it bothers you, you can conclude your school day by saying: "Okay, I want you to remember that we reviewed 2 digit addition in math, and did sentence types in language arts and we read a chapter in a book." You can tell him to stop saying that, teach him a standard answer to reply. Also, you can tell people that its none of their business. ((Who is it that's drilling your student anyway?))
Thanks for the response gizzy. My son is in Kindergarten and his only experience with "school" was pre-school and then pre k two days a week. I will speak with him about what he would like to do. There are so many days he has a great time with the material. I can't tell if he is saying "I want to go to real school" to get a reaction out of me or what. I am involed in two hs support groups. We go on field trips, and participate in activities. Not as many now since its summer more once August comes around and we are in co-op. (I started our year about a month ago.) In addition he plays flag football and his season just ended so he has interaction with other children. I will look into Draw Write Now. As for who's drilling him its other family members. I have had several relatives visit over the past two months. It just so happens that both of these family members were former public school teachers who have not really heard much about hs. I think they are curious as to what my children are really learning. So they are always asking questions.
I can understand him missing "school" if all he knows of school is PreSchool, which is nothing but naps, snacks and play mostly. What are you using for his handwriting? Drawing might be easier and better for him at this point than actual printing-handwriting. Have him draw pictures and lots of them. Let him do free-drawing but also assign him drawings to do. Have him draw a picture using only 4 shapes, but a whole scene. For example a house with a tree, a car and a person can be drawn with just triangles, rectangles, lines, circles etc. Actual hand writing might be more than he's ready for. You should probably think about shifting the emphasis from HandWriting to Phonics skills, its easier for some young children to read than it is to write. You may want to make "Behavior" a class for him, in which you both rehearse good manners vs bad manners and behavior. He's old enough that he shouldn't be screaming and crying just because he's upset, he should be learning to talk about and handle his emotions. Its okay to be upset, and sometimes we cant help but cry a little, it is NOT ok to scream and holler every time you are upset. I obviously dont know your little boy and cant make a fair assessment, but I find its better to deal with this emotional-ness early and nip some behaviours in the bud. When he is getting emotional, take notice and diffuse the situation. When he gets unruly STOP and handle the situation. Help him calm down first, assert your authority and make him understand you are trying to help him, but he must calm down. Also, try recording the pledge of Allegiance on tape for him or make him a deal in that if he cooperates in saying the Pledge, you all can have 15 minutes of "music class" first. Let him sing or listen to (educational) songs and music right after class begins. Every week you can chop off a few minutes until after the pledge he does ONE song and then gets right to work. Decide which aspects of school are worth the aggravation (his and yours) and which aren't. Even when he's bad, dont dwell on it. Say to him. "Okay (NAME) you know you aren't supposed to do that." or "Is that how Mom and Dad ask you to do it? No. You're supposed to do A.B.C" then move on, quickly. The idea is to leave him with some "Food for thought" about his behavior, not torment him over his imperfections.
You know...we Didn't do the pledge when I was in school. :/ We stopped in middle school. I don't know, I think Gizzy has given you wonderful advice. IMO he doesn't know what REAL school is, since he has only experienced Preschool. lol. REAL school will make you practice your handwriting. lol Why don't you explain to him (in simplest terms) what the pledge is all about. Have a "Patriotic" theme to discuss it.
Sometimes it can help to sprinkle some "You know, if you were in K at the elementary school instead of at home, you would be doing X right now instead of *this*...." when you're on a field trip, or park day or anything else fun you might be doing at the time. And of course X includes anything he doesn't think is fun about school - like handwriting, whole pages of math, memorizing (drilling) something. Maybe he needs to have a few "school at home" days where he has to sit in a specific spot until told to move, doing your read-alouds with him sitting in his spot instead of cuddling on the couch, "line up" to go to lunch, get permission to go to the bathroom (and get refused sometimes because "it isn't time yet"), have his tasks on a timer so that he has to keep doing something he's finished with because it isn't time to stop until the bell rings, not get to finish something he likes doing because the bell rang... and whatever else you can think of about school that makes "school at school" not so fun.
Homeschooling IS real school...and that's what you need to tell him. My kids actually catch themselves now, and they'll say public school instead of real school! Anyway...he needs to understand that what you're doing is just as real, and that you are serious about it! (((HUGS))) it'll come!!!
Yeah, Kbabe is right. You should take the time to discuss what "school" is really all about. Its about learning, but learning can be done in different ways. In homeschool, you can learn the same things but in different ways or in the same way that they do at school. But in HS, the learning is tailored to you. In school, you may have friends and bullies in your class. Your teacher might not be as nice to you as mom. In school, you have to WAIT for everyone to finish doing everyting. You HAVE to do handwriting, math, and phonics every day. You have to share--even with kids you dont like. In school, you have to go 6 hrs a day, 5 days a week, in homeschool you can do 3 pages (1 phonics, 1 math, 1 handwriting, or whatever) in 1hr and then just be done. You can learn math with blocks, beans, shopping, etc. You can take a field trip 2x a week if you want to. You can do co-op and have more time for your favorite things. The teacher has to give you tests in PS and if you dont pass they wont let you promote with your friends in the next grade. etc... Of course, you can always say things like: If you were in PS, you would be still working on Math right now, instead of watching this movie. You should considering doing School at home for a while so that he will see the difference. Tell him that PreK isn't the same as "Big Kid School"
Ok, I didn't read the other comments so forgive me if I am repeating what has already been said. My son went to preschool and LOVED it. He begged to go to PS K so I let him reluctantly. Now, after going a full year, he is thrilled that we are homeschooling. I am sure we will have days when he will say the exact same thing to me but it will be to get a reaction out of me and try to get out of his work. As for saying he doesn't know what he learned. That is what my son told me each and every day of PS. It must be normal! Good luck with everything. I don't officially start until Aug.
I only glanced at the responses but I agree, he doesn't know what real school is. In kindergarten PS killed my son's love of learning and forced him to sit down, be still, be quite all day. He had PE once a week and only a 20 minute recess each day. And if he got in trouble (which he did almost every single day-for talking) he would lose recess time!!!!! He had to write a LOT and read a LOT (he's not read to read yet) he hated it. It was nothing like prek-which he loved. If he continues asking for real school, you might want to look into trying some co-op classes as a compromise. As far as the "i don't know" answer to school-that's the only answer I ever got from my son to that question as well. I learned if I wanted feedback from him I had to ask a more specific question. What books did you read today? What did you have for lunch? Did you sing any songs today? Did you go to computer lab today? What did you do on the computer? but just asking "what did you do/learn today?" got no response...from talking to other moms I think it's normal at this age.
Thanks you all for the suggesstions. I will take them into consideration as we move forward. Someone asked what I was using for handwriting. I am using McRuffy Press. I will check out the Draw Write Now that was suggessted. I also like the idea of school at home for a few days. SimplySonita, asking a specific question rather than a general what did you do today was great suggestion. Thanks agian, this is why I love the spot.
LOL it used to drive me crazy when he wouldn't answer that question after 7 hours of PS prek. About a month after school started they had a parents night where they told us about their day, things they did, showed us their centers for science and math and all that, so then I had an IDEA what he was doing all day so I could ask more specific questions. Like what did they have in the science center today? ect. It made me feel much better LOL (keep in mind *I* wanted to homeschool from the beginning, hubby insisted on public so I already felt bad about him being in PS) It kinda made me feel like a bad parent-like why won't my kid talk to me? Share his day with me? I've found this works with anything I ask him questions about though-they must be specific. Not sure if it's the age or a personality thing. But even questioning him after a read aloud I can't just ask "what did we just read about" I think it's just too much for him to take in and process, like it overwhelms him to have to answer such a big question. So I ask more specific questions and it helps.
As for real school-I would instead start saying things like,"Isn't this fun. Boy-they dont get to do this at real school...or better yet-find out the name of the elementary school-drive past and use that name....they dont get to do this at blah blah school. Aren't we lucky...." and just make it into a giant positive allt he stuff he gets to learn. as for the memory thing-naw....your work will pay off. It's hius age. I mean, who wants to talk about "work" after they get done with "work"....and having relatives that want to talk to the kid, instead of you...well that is probably a completely appropriate response. I mean, when my kids went to ps, noone but me and my dh would ask-so what're you learning. We always got a "i dont remember" or "eh...we talked about frogs" ors omething.... Also-bear in mind that if he went to prek-it was probably FUN and more FUN.....so just stay positive.
Ok your ds is k? dont worry about the pledge, its not all that important at that age. You could say it and then let him join in if he wants to but dont push the issue until he is old enough to understand what it means. About the Want to go to real school stuff--- it comes and goes , does he have friends out playing when he gets that way or what does he say is his reason for that? WHen my dcs used to say that I would let them know the truth about how much time they would be spending sitting in a chair or desk waiting to listen, or do. How they would have to raise thier hand if they wanted to go to the bathroom, not just slip away and go. How if they spilled at lunch the whole world would know lol well you knowwhat I mean. I would let him know what would be expected there... unfortunately kids think its all fun and games, but its really a lot of hurry up and wait quietly at that age now days. OH! on more thing! Let him pick what he wants to learn about some days. hmm, for the most part in my 13 + years of home schooling I would say that its pretty normal for kids to say what they think will get a rise out of you when they want to get their way. Treat your class ( call it that) like a "real school" give him so many minutes of circle time, so many minutes of teaching, read a book to him, let him have 20 min recess etc, just like he would do in "real school". I think he will lke Moms school way better!
You're welcome to tell him about my son and why he begged to be homeschooled. You can tell him that in "real" school, you have to sit at a desk for 7 hours a day and you might not even get your 20 minute recess if your work isn't finished when the teacher thinks it should be finished. Oh yes, and you will have more school work when you get home at 4 pm because homework starts in kindergarten. In "real" school, you might have to do worksheet after worksheet of writing practice even if you have excellent writing because the rest of the kids need practice, you might do worksheet after worksheet of math, grammar, or spelling long after you've mastered it because the other kids still need practice. Let him know that in "real" school you may not have a single field trip until the last week of school. In "real" school you might have accidents in your pants because the teacher finishes the lesson before acknowledging your raised hand and the bathroom is at the other end of the hallway. In "real" school the other kids might call you names every day and the teacher might not know for weeks because she's busy with so many other students. In "real" school the principal may not allow you to make a snowman at recess because it starts with a snowball and they have a "no snowball rule". In "real" school you study what they tell you to study and it's hard to find time to really study your greatest interests. If he is worried about his friends being at school, you can let him know that my son has two friends who attend the same school and same grade and he usually doesn't get to play or talk to them anyway because they're in different classes.
I should also say my kids still say "Idon't know" when asked what you did in school today or what you learned this week.. but they can give detailed answers to howmany suns there are in the galaxies beyond ours etc. They can tell you details to things they have learned when the subject comes up in otherwords but not off the top of thier heads in general. As my dd told me once.. I sit there thinking hmm we did this this this , what should I tell the person about? Do I tell them intellegently and show off or do I just tell them something they can understand? After all non homeschooled people do not always get the same depth of learning as homeschooled kids do.. as my ds said "When you home school the learning never ends! Because if you want to know about something you just look it up and study until you know it!"
Yeah "I dunno" is the standard answer for kids, PS and HS, when asked what they learned today, lol. I wouldn't stress over it. Bean dip for the quizzers. Better yet, turn and grill their kids about what they learned in school. 10 to 1 you get the same response. As for "real school". I'm guilty of the "HS is better than PS" attitude, lol. Reading is the kicker for my daughter. She loves to read, so occasionally I'll pick up a book and say, oh, this is what the other 3rd graders are reading, and she goes "But that's an EASY book!". Or I'll say, "Just think, you wouldn't get to sit and read if you were in school." Or "Isn't it great you can have piano practice in the middle of the day...or this field trip...couldn't do that in public school." BUT. I feel kind of bad about it. I'm a fatalist/pessimist, and I always worry that one day I'll, you know, die, and my kids will be stuck in PS. I don't want them to be scared. Then, too, I'm going thru a divorce so PS is looking more likely than it used to. Just saying, you never know when circumstances may require your kids to be in PS, and you don't want them totally freaking out because it's "soooo terrible." Just a thought.
