I am pulling my dd from this team-for a multitude of reasons (some having to do with him in other aspects), but this hasn't helped my opinion of the administration AT ALL!! We're paid through Aug. Then we are moving to another team. I'm trying to find out exactly who to report this to, and I will do it in writing. I'm not even really sure that this team is run correctly by USA Swimming standards. I'm not sure how it can be run through the school system by the school district aquatics director. (My dd can't even swim as a senior swimmer with this team-- because she's homeschooled, and they are expected to go to high school swimming, which is overseen by the same guy.) But that's another issue....
Um...my sisters swim coaches all do this regardless of male or female. I would report it, with your other findings/feelings. The massage thing is absolutely normal. Sounds crazy but I asked around (4 of my sisters have been on swim teams most their lives, my teenage sister is going to the olympics-they have paid teams and public, they've been on water polo teams as well, and 2 of my cousins are swim coaches, 1 sister is a swim coach, and my uncle has been a swim coach for 20 years.....so i had some people to ask.) They all said they try to do the massages laying down and willuse the tables if possible-the only thing is if there wa absolutely noone else around and he uh....wasn't "concentrating" on her upper back. ALL my swimming crazy family said massage for butterfly or others strokes would focus on UPPER back. If you need info on where to report ir-I can find out for you.
We have 400+ swimmers and 12 coaches. I've never seen another one give a massage. (I stay for practices, unlike most parents.) While she was laying down, he has rubbing her lower back. When she sat up, he massaged her shoulders. Fly is very tough on the shoulders, if proper techinque isn't used. (I moved my dd down a level because, even though she had time requirements, her technique wasn't perfect in fly-permanent damage waiting to happen!). The diagnosis is actually "swimmers shoulders". Our coaches focus on icing injuries rather than touching them. That's not to say the kids aren't touched. A certain amount of teaching strokes comes through some touching. But to take a girl to an area outside the pool alone...that's just stupid- innocent or not.
Only one other poster said this, so I will reiterate: talk to the girl's parents. They need to know more than anyone, IMO. If she's a teen, she should know or have been taught not to go off somewhere with a guy; it's dangerous and stupid. Well, even a child should be taught that, which really sucks. Otherwise, report it, including the fact that he left when you started to take pics. As a PP said, that confirms that he at least knew or realized what a stupid situation he was in. He may have just went "duh" but...he may have felt guilty and been hiding something. But even if the orginization does nothing, talk to the girl's parents. They need to know to keep a closer eye on the time their daughter spends after practice, etc.
While, I did not read this entire thread so forgive me if the conversation moved on...I agree with the above!
I don't know the girl's name or who her parents are. Very few parents stay for swim practice. I will say, that though the area was outside the pool, it is glassed in (though pool barriers block the bottom view of the outdoors) and a public area. There was just no one there when he was there with her until I came outside. I saw him massaging the same girl tonight-this time the shoulders are all I saw-from across the pool. I told my daghter to NEVER let a male coach massge her-EVER. I just don't think it's appropriate, trying to help and innocent or not. I found a name for our organiztion rep, who is not the guy I've spoken to before. I think I'm going to send a letter explaining what I've seen and acknowledging that it may be innocent, but it could be putting the club in a position of a legal nightmare. It would only take one girl to say he touched her (truth or not) for it to be a HUGE deal!
Yes. I think it's good that you say it may be innocent. That way it's not accusing. But you can also say that, to protect both the adult and the young lady, this man needs to realize that his actions can easily be misinterpreted and should take precautions to not be put in a compromising situation.
It's quite amazing that this goes on all the time. As I mentioned, dads who are soccer coaches are not allowed to touch girls on the team - a brief hug when they win, or even a high-five. What other norms are there in society? Just imagine the uproar if men patted down women at airport security lines. It's just not done. If a swimming organization feels that girls on the team need their muscles massaged, then they should hire a woman to do that! No way, no way, no way should men be allowed to massage young girls.
