OK, maybe I'm just being neurotic. I'm feeling worried that homeschool isn't enough of an education for my kids. But I'm also very torn, because I know that they are getting so many other positive things out of homeschooling. Just a little background. I have three kids aged 11, 8, and 5. My 11 yr old dd went to public school through the beginning of 3rd grade. She did ok academically, but had some behavioral issues. The other two have been home except for some preschool for my 8 yr old. DD (11) is much better behaviorally since we brought her home. Here are my thoughts... Will my kids grow up knowing how to take care of a house including doing laundry, cooking, cleaning? Yes. Will my kids grow up knowing how to be kind to others? Yes. Do my kids behave better since we started homeschooling? Yes. Do my kids seem to love each other and their parents more since starting homeschool? Yes. Do my kids seem happy with homeschooling? Mostly. My oldest wants more time with friends. The other two seem pretty happy. Will my kids be able to get good scores on their SATs? I don't know. Will my kids be able to pass a college writing class when they are 18? I don't know. Will my kids be able to pass a college math class when they are 18. Probably. Math is our strength. I'm feeling worried about language arts mostly I guess. My 11 yr old dd's writing and spelling is awful. My son HATES to write anything. I quiz him orally and he does GREAT! He's very smart! But if he has to write it he loses everything in the translation. He would fail a written test of any kind. Youngest DD is doing very well and is ahead of the game. She can read basic phonics books and write all her uppercase letters and many lowercase letters. She can count by 5's and 10's and understands basic addition. She just turned 5 this summer. How long will her jump on other kids her age last? I don't know. So, any thoughts or suggestions? Am I just being a worry wart because I'm comparing my kids to other kids their age? Is it a valid concern? Will they magically catch up? Is there something different I need to be doing? Should I look into tutoring? I'm lost and worried and need feedback. A little extra info. Due to the reasons we started homeschooling in the first place, DH is adamatly against sending the kids back to our public school system, and private school is quite a drive away and would be a huge stressor on both money and time. So I'm kind of stuck. Thoughts? Edie
Why are you so sure they will get an awesome education through a school? At home you can pick and choose the best curriculum and suit your child's needs. A homeschooled child is often better prepared academically than a school child. A homeschooled child also learns life lessons and many social (yes social) lessons unavailable to a child in school. But...there are pluses and negatives to every story. I am not anti-school. However, the format of school is not always conducive to a proper learning atmosphere to most students. If you feel your kids are behind...then look into to tutoring. However, that may not be necessary. Give your kids time to learn and grow. Homeschooling means time is on your side. It may be a slow start if your child is behind but in the end your child, given the proper instruction, will catch up or be ahead. My 12 year old girl can't spell for anything. But you know what...I have the only kid who decides to spend her time working on that instead of playing with friends. lol. My 10 year old boy HATES to write. However, hating does not mean cannot do or that the child is behind. Kids will hate a lot of things. I have always found ways to improve on my children's weaknesses because I am the primary teacher and the one with a vested interest in their future. Also, I get to choose the curriculum and methods to educate them. We all have fears of failing our children educationally. Don't fear...just find solutions. We are here to help.
I agree with Ava Rose. Your children are a work in progress. Based on what you said, everything sounds awesome. Remember they are still very young. Too young for you to worry about SAT tests. YOU are fortunate to see where their weaknesses are. YOU are in a unique position to really work with them. Don't for a second think that they will get any more help attending a public school. It will not happen. Now about spelling and writing. It is not unusual for children to need more time to develope in these areas. My daughter was a horrible speller as well. I was so worried she'd never get it. Then when she reached about middle of 6th grade-it clicked. Now at age 14 she's on track. I think it had a lot to do with the amound of reading she was doing. My son is like yours about writing. He hates it. Ask him orally and he's fine. It has to do with maturity, too. He is now 12 and I am seeing a small improvement and we know what he needs to work on this year again! Last year I was worried about his printing skills and writing (paragraphs, etc) and had him evaluated with the local district. They were not at all shocked at his writing (looks to me like a 1st grader printed it!), or his writing skills. They said there is a wide spectrum of 'normal' and felt that he was well within normal range. They said he would benefit from MORE writing opportunities and time to develope. So there you go. I, too, had to remind myself that the kids are a work in progress! Again, you sound like you're doing a great job all around. Everyone is happy and learning. It sounds like a well-rounded education to me. ~Tina
Yes well said. Also think of down the road what are they likely to pursue career wise? What will they need to fulfill that goal? Is writing a necessity of that goal? Obviously a mechanic will need less language arts then a journalist. Of course if your kids hate to or aren't good at writing then there is a good probability that journalism will not be the career they choose. Language arts is a tough one. One the PS system pushes ad nauseum that perhaps isn't as relevant to real life. And because the PS focuses so heavily on language arts more pressure is felt perhaps by us at homeschool to keep up with the peers of our children. However I know there were a lot of English classes that I took that have nothing to do with what I am doing now and I could have gotten along without. So take heart and look long term.
Edie, by "writing" do you mean your 11 year old has trouble composing a paragraph or essay-answer? or do you mean handwriting? If it's composition, then address that one sentence at a time. If it's handwriting, either focus on a specific method and work on that, or find ways around it (keyboarding, for instance). For spelling, either work on that with a specific method, or find ways around it (like spell-check). For your son, the same thing - is it composition? One sentence at a time. Or find ways around it (such as recording his dictation, then listening to his own words and writing it down, maybe? or get one of those speak-into-the-computer-and-it-will-write-what-you-say programs) While you're working on these things, do a lot or oral work (sounds like you are already). Do you really think public school would work on these specific skills and remediate them? Even if they put them in special classes for this, it's still a "sink or swim" proposition most of the time. Is even a private school going to care enough to work with them as much as they need for as long as they need? Do they have a vested interest in the kids' future? Nope. It's good that you're concerned about college, but at the same time, just focus on what they need to do today. They might not choose college but technical/vocational courses instead, or work in the real world for awhile before deciding what they really want to do. And that's okay. Tons of public school and private school kids graduate unprepared to enter adult life, but at home you can get them as prepared as they need to be for whatever path is theirs.
Just a simple thought-what is more important- academics or character? I have to ask myself this one a lot.
I get that overwhelmed feeling too. But what calms me is when you here about the stuff going on in public schools or when I see another child acting out to get attention in sassy ways. Then I think do my children know how to interact with other people polietly? Yes. Do I feel they can make it in the real world? Yes. Yes, public schools focuses on language arts more so you feel that the pressure is on to keep up with them. I have stopped comparing my children's schooling to public schooling because it just makes you sick to your stomach worrying. Your children will turn out just fine!
every mom asks these questions regardless of their educational choices. The challenges you face now cannot be an accurate indicator of their future sucess or failure. You teach them now how to learn. as they get older it is their responsibility to use that ability to improve on the things they need to be sucessful in their chosen field. you are doing an awesome job with your kids because you love them more than any body else could. give yourself some credit for investing in your kids!
Failing them compared to what? PS? Didn't you pull them out for a reason? Cause PS wasn't working? It's hard if PS is all you know. I went to PS K-12. My oldest spent 2 years in PS. But you know-I pulled him out for a reason-there is a reason I am constantly fighting myself in my decision to NOT be like the PS. Just because public school is the most common means by which a child in our nation is educated does not mean it is the best way to educate a child, nor does it mean we should measure our homeschool by its standards. Tests show the US PS system is failing horribly compared with other nations. (ex. As in our kids know 50% less in science than in other countries upon graduation.) That is not something I want to model in my homeschool
First I will say that I am not experienced on the parenting side of homeschooling, only from the student's side. Second, I will say that I haven't read all the comments. I wanted to say that I think you are looking too far into the future right now. Your kids are still pretty young. As far as the writing thing with your son, it reminded me of my brother. He struggled with reading really bad because he was slightly dyslexic. It was reading comprehension mostly that was the issue. My parents reached a point with him where they decided it was necessary to drop everything, take a year and have him do nothing but reading. He would have to read a book, and I think he had to give an oral report. He *hated* it. He had no other work, just reading. But I will say that it paid off. When the year was over his reading comprehension had improved dramatically, and he caught up really fast in the subjects that he hadn't worked on in that year. He reads all the time now--in fact, it's part of his job. I'm not saying you should do this or anything, I'm just pointing out that sometimes it helps to be creative and flexible. Putting your kids in an institutionalized, cookie-cutter environment when they are struggling is only going to make things harder for them because they won't get the one-on-one customized education they need. Try not to let the what-ifs get to you. Just take it one day at a time, and if you think your kids need more work in a certain area, then maybe put more time into that. If they excel at math and numbers, then they don't need to put as much time into those subjects. Even if they hate it at first, it will pay off to give some extra attention to the subjects that are difficult for them. They couldn't get a great, customized education like that in any institution, public or private. And you still have YEARS to go before you have to start thinking about test scores and college and so forth.
Comparing our kids to other kids is a good way to get stressed out and think we are behind. You never compare with the kid who is struggling but always the genius. Don't ask me why but it tends to be a natural tendency in parents. Writing is an extremely difficult skill that I didn't learn in high school as you can probably tell. If you read many articles about writing you will find that you can't expect much out of the average 11 year old. Yes there will be that novel writing prodigy but don't worry about that. Don't expect amazing paragraphs to suddenly start flowing from your child. At that age copywork, spelling, grammar, and reading tons of good literature will give them a good start. Then when they write don't expect perfection and sit down and help them. Let them write about something they love but expect to teach them what would constitute a sentence or a paragraph and help them organize it. Don't become a grammar nazi (I hate that word but not thinking of a good synonym right now). Pick out a few things they can work on and point it out. It takes practice and time.
I like peanutsweet's answers. I feel the same way. I wonder if my kids could pass the tests their ps friends are taking. Probably not because I don't "teach to the test". We learn what we want when we want so my kids will probably never match up to their ps friends. I just hate when their friends say something like, "you haven't learned that yet?". Makes them feel behind. Deep down I believe the morals,values,& character I'm trying to teach is far more important than the academics. I have issues I struggle with w/my kids too. My ds (7) hates writing stories & has terrible handwriting. Great with math though (so far). My dd (10) hates math but is pretty average with it. She is struggling with some issues in language arts like diagramming sentences. I actually let this go a little bit because I can't for the life of me remember diagramming a sentence or when I'd need to know that in my adult life. It's when I skip things like that when I wonder if I'm doing them a disservice. She is a great speller & wonderful handwriting though. You aren't the only one with those thoughts. In my world you are normal!
