Well, here in the last 2 weeks, my dd has taken up the mantra once again that homeschooling is boring and the answer to all her life's problems lies in the local public school. I am planning on writing her a letter to address this. Letter writing goes better for us than a conversation, since these days everything I say to her is the wrong thing. Also I can say exactly what I want to say, revising if I need to, and she cannot twist my words, interrupt or argue. A little background...most of her homeschooled church friends have gone back to school. They go to a variety of schools, NONE of them attend the local middle school for which we are zoned. I think this time of the year she feels "different" from them and desperately wants to fit in. Last year she did this, but once 4-H started up she was fine, and I anticipate this year will be the same. But I am so tired of her bringing up the subject. She has many friends, both homeschooled and schooled and I do plenty of extra activities for her to be around them...church and church activities several times a week, 4-H activities, 5 or more times a month, piano lessons, and I also go pick up her friends from school a few times a month so she can hang out with them in the afternoons. Sometimes I feel a bit ragged from all the running, and that also annoys me...that all the stuff I try to do for/with her doesn't count because this in one thing (attending school) I won't give in. Sending her to school is not an option. I am at home with all my kids and homeschooling them, I feel, is socially, morally, spiritually, and academically the very best decision for our family. If I were to give in, I'd feel that I was not doing my best by my daughter. So I am dreading writing this letter. Suggestions on how to begin it?
Just begin Don't try to make the first draft perfect or even in order. Just write everything you are feeling, then you can sort it out and revise it to make a final draft.
I don't have any help for you... but LOVE your idea of writing a letter!! Garrett and I seem to be at each others throats over practically everything I say... if I wrote it down it may not cause such an arguement!
Tell that you acknowledge her desire but in good conscience you can't give in. And that as her mother it is your job to raise her in the best way possible and that she may not agree with your decision but it's yours to make. Also ask that she stop requesting to go as it is something she isn't going to get an answer to that she likes. You can tell her all the reasons in the world why you homeschool but since she has it in her head that she wants what she wants and she is preteen it is unlikely she will think any of them are adequate reasons. Best of luck.
You know the frustrating thing is that if she would focus on the things she LIKES about homeschooling and stop being so fixated on other people, she would be so much more content. There are things that she likes...but all she can focus on are the negatives. And Sommer, I've written this kid several letters about various things. Sometimes we have dialogue in writing. She likes that because she doesn't get in as much trouble for disrespectful tone of voice and behavior. I like it because to read a letter, she actually has to engage in what I am saying. When we are trying to talk, I sometimes feel that she is not listening to me, but she is formulating her next argument against what I have to say.
This is SOOOOO our house! I'm stealing your idea! Sadly I think your daughter is at the age of wanting to do what everyone else is doing. I know when I left the choice of homeschooling this coming year or going back to PS, his only real reason he could come up with to go to PS was the other kids :roll: He has since made a few friends that aren't too far from us, acutally 2 are in a distance I feel alright letting him ride his bike to (we live in the country), so I'm hoping it makes it easier for him.
I'd just make a list of everything i feel, or everything id want to write... & sort it out in the end to make it into a good letter for her. The letter thing is really such a good idea. I think I will try that with my kids when they get older
I honestly hope she becomes a lawyer so she she can put those arguing skills to productive use for a change! The thing is, she has been homeschooled her whole life, and while she is VERY responsible and mature for 12 (most of the time, except when she's acting like she's 2) she is in many ways VERY naive and innocent. She has no idea what most 12-13 year old girls in public school are up against. She is not the kind of 12 yr old that looks like a 12 yr old either. She looks closer to 14. I doubt she really wants the pressure that looking older in a school setting would likely bring.
Simply tell her that you and your husband are responsible first to God. You feel that He has given you this directive to homeschool, and until He tells you otherwise, that's what you will be doing. PERIOD, end of discussion. And tell her that if she has a problem with it, she is more than welcome to go over your head and pray about it. She can argue the issues with God, and perhaps He will agree with her and tell you to change.....
Why don't you have her make a list of the positive things. The things she likes about homeschooling! Post them up somewhere to remind her. Then write them on little pieces of paper and stick them places for her to find when she's having a bad day. Also, maybe remind her of the things she would miss out on if she attended PS (like free-time, there is lots of homework to be done during those after-school hours that may mean she would have to give up some of her extracurricular activities she does now) Best of luck!
you guys are fabulous. I really feel a lot more confident about writing this letter now. I think I will wait till this cold clears up. I'm not capable of writing more than a sentence or two coherently till my sinuses drain a bit.
I like Jackie's idea, too. I don't know as if I would go into all the reasons why she shouldn't go to ps. I think she probably doesn't care about your reasons and I believe that often when we explain our all our reasons to our children we wind up sounding like we are just trying to justify ourselves. I would also have her make a list of postives about hs and you make one too and compare your list, you may be able to show her a lot that she hasn't thought about. Reading back through this I didn't write very well, nothing new I know, but I hope you hear my heart. My 13yo ds has never wanted to hs. I feel for you.
I agree with the ladies that say just sit and write, dont try to make it perfect at first. use it for your think it through. I also have dealt with one child begging to go out, the second one did not want to go out becuase she saw the first one change. Third one now got to do Drama out lastyear with the private school at church I taught it, so it was okay but now he is asking when he gets to go out too. I am praying and hoping that he will not want to after this year of one on one Me and HE are the only ones left homeschooling. His friends are in the hs group and at church but he really enjoyed the interaction working with differnt groups of kids. So I am expanding our horizons and doing More home school group stuff with him. Do you have a home school group within your area?
