The kids were both screamapillars today (they're 2 and 4). Ear-piercing screams, battles over every request, war over toys, didn't want to eat dinner, tantrum at bedtime because they're hungry... And now I'm sitting here daydreaming about how much peace I would have in my day if I just sent them somewhere for 6 hours every day. I know that's the wrong attitude, and I DO want to homeschool, but man... as I sit here in tears, I doubt whether I can do it. I'm so discouraged today. ETA: and we haven't even officially STARTED homeschooling... HA! We're very much into preschool fun, but the future is daunting. I have a lot of self-doubt right now.
The kiddos have a lot of years left to learn, they are pretty young to expect much out of except battles over toys, and potty training, and needing naps. Send them somewhere for a couple hours in the afternoon, designate a nap time, or drop the off at a sitters one day a week. All preschool kids pretty much act like that, pretty often, so that is normal. Teaching them proper behavior, sharing, manners ect, should be the goal right now, not too much more than that. I guess it depends on the child, but for most average kids, they aren't going to be too interested in much but play time.
I agree... we don't do much more than play and preschool fun. I guess it was just a hard day. We have our battles every day, but this particular day was just a doozie. A sitter once a week sounds fantabulous. I should definitely do that.
I'd focus on getting some discipline and control going on for the next 18 - 24 months. Continue with the preschool fun, but kids dont have to behave as if feral either. I'm a very no-non sense person with many things, and I immediately put my foot down on certain behaviours. Many children behave for me who wont behave for their parents, because I dont tolerate foolishness, badness, out of control foolishness. The beauty is, I do not even spank, but their parents do. I can walk into a room thats in chaos with up to 10 children and set it in order in 3-15 minutes depending on the child(ren) and whether or not someone is in pain. *shrug* but maybe thats just me. I dont believe in rewarding bad behaviour at all. I dont believe in "Feel good" education etc. I treat children with respect and demand the same from them. I use time out corners and scoldings as often as I need. I'm honest everytime, even with 1yo, on how I feel about their behaviour. The moment the child is beginning to communicate and display signs of understanding (hiding when called if they've done wrong,) of right and wrong, I began full-time, explaining actions and such to them. "I asked everyone to pick up toys, and you didn't. So, you can not have a cookie." They scream, they cry, they throw a fit. I put a couple of toys back in the floor and if they pick them up, they get a cookie. If they only want to have a tantrum then they get nothing. I'm willing to punish everytime that they misbehave. Everytime. I also acknowledge and praise every time that they do behave, I give high-fives and thumb-touches only to those who earn them (there is something about the kids in my life that they will go crazy for a hi-5 from ME. Hi-5's from everyone else doesn't mean as much.) I potty trained a 2yo this summer for 3 weeks only on the promise of a thumb-touch everytime he went to the potty and scolding everytime that he didn't. We had 11 days successful, perfect straight. His mom took over and now he's back to crapping on himself and she is giving him candy just for telling her when his diaper is dirty :roll:
I agree that they are young. But since you know you want to homeschool continue with teaching discipline to them. Make a routine, kids I find behave better with a set routine for the day. And I truly empathize with your situation as I recall too well the days when all it seemed like I was doing was disciplining to avoid the screaming. Next time put them in their own rooms and tell them that because they can't seem to get along they MUST be overtired. And they need to have a nap or quiet time for one half hour. Then you walk away and take that break even if you have to tune them out. It won't hurt them to spend alone time. My mom used to have a saying 'too much togetherness is never a good thing.' And although I didn't always agree with her when she said it. I do agree that sometimes kids need their own space to learn and discover what they can do on their own.
yes, they are to young to worry about that yet. Of course they are going to fight that is so normal don't every kid.... maybe if it bothers you they fight all the time then maybe you need to give them more things to do, like to color, cut or glue.
Days like this do happen. It too shall pass, and you can do this. The good moments far outweigh the ones where I want to lock myself in the bathroom When my boys were 2 and 4 they fought quite a fit. LOL, they still fight. But, they are best friends.
My oldest went to daycare for about 3 months when he was the only child-I still had days like that! Then he spent 2 years in PS-after his brother came along-I still had days like that! It happens to every mom-but they aren't all like that
ok listen My kids are much older and they are bing pains today too .. noise is getting to me, my knee hurting and I want to run to the beach and sit in the sun all day.. but I KNOW I will still homeschool. It is more the reason for us to home school them so we can foster good behavior in our kids. You need to take a day, for you. This will help, you need breaks now and again anyway you know? yours are youngns still give them another year to grow mature wise it will be fine. its thier ages, 2 and 4 is the worst combination.
bahahahaha, that made me laugh right out loud and say, "Don't I know it?!?!" Thank you so much for those that offered empathy and encouragement. That in itself is so truly uplifting to me. I am definitely going to talk to dh about me getting some time to myself. I can feel that I need it. Thanks for reminding me that I'm not alone in the world and that I can do this Love you, mamas!
Your not alone girl, not at all! Mine are 6 and 3 and we have our days, some days they are perfect children, its like a fairy tale, other days...it's more like a horror movie LOL Well....a G rated horror movie LOL but still... You can do it. If I can-anyone can. I'm nothing special, I'm just your average homeschool mom-like everybody else. I don't have super powers, I'm not a child development specialist or a certified teacher. But you and I-we're moms and we love our kids more than anything, so we can do it!
I will probably repeat what has already been said, and maybe add a little. One: I would not worry about schooling them now AT ALL. Take one day at a time. TWO: Some people (The Moore's for one) think that young children aren't ready for formal academics until the age of 8 or 10. But, even if you want to teach them young, you can do it much different than public schools. Read to them a lot and informally discuss things. Do a lot of nature walks. This is Charlotte Mason type homeschooling. THREE: discipline--This is a big, bad, ugly and or so necessary word. I firmly believe that if you stand your ground in a determined, firm way, you may have to hear a tantrum. BUT, if you don't give in to tantrums time after time, they will stop. Most kids learn very quickly what works and what doesn't. If they are getting there way now, it may take a little more time. When my son was young he wanted to look at the toys at the store. I said fine, but I wasn't buying any. He started getting upset. I gave him one warning. He didn't listen and out we went. He NEVER threw a fit over that again. Not that I got it all right, but I did something right there.
I concur with most of the other responses...who's 2 and 4 year olds don't act like uncivilized beasts sometimes?! This stage will pass! When my kids turned 5 1/2 and 3 1/2 I finally felt like I had a little control (and sanity) back in my life. Just be firm and consistent in disciplining bad behavior AND teach them how you expect them to behave instead. That's the most important homeschooling you can do now. I totally agree that routine can save you! Most importantly, pray pray pray for yourself and for your kids...divine intervention was often the only way I made it through the rough days! Hang in there
Sending them to ps might give you some peace (I dream about it too at times!!!), but remember what they'll learn... or rather, won't. I'm not talking about academics. I mean behaviour from other kids. You have an opportunity to direct their behaviour as you have them with you, so make that your focus for now. Pick one problem each week and specifically deal with it. Or if you like programs to follow, one program I've heard is great is called 'accountable kids'. One of the moms in our homeschooling group told a story that's really stuck with me. She picked her son up from soccer. He hopped in the backseat of the car and said something rude and completely sassy to her. Her jaw dropped to the floor. She was speechless and couldn't think of a response. She turned and looked at him, and he was grinning from ear to ear. Seeing the look on her face he burst out laughing, saying, "I just had to see how you'd react! That's how all the other kids speak to their moms!" When they're around other kids, you can bet it's the shocking negatives they'll pick up more than the positives. Dreaming of peace in our homes via the ps system will only lead to quiet during the school hours. You want more than that - you want a positive relationship with your kids. Keep that goal in mind when it gets rough. We all have rough days, but it will get easier. Hang in there!
