when i say well actually we are home schooling this year! I just don't understand why people say things like... really... why... your kids wont be socialized well if you HS... I don't understand why you would want to do that!!!! UGG... ok getting off the soap box... am I wrong to be mad about this!?!?
no. You have the right to be upset.eventually you'll learn to let go. I had similar situations for almost 5years. I used to get very sensitive about it and almost had no answers to people questions and curiousity about homeschooling. I learned that I believe of what I'm doing and time alone will prove to people that homeschool is not bad after all. people are now complementing about my girls behaviors and social skills. I learned to be confident especially if these situations happens in front of my kids. I learned to assure my kids of our family decision if they get teased or questioned by other kids.
You know, I think with time you will build a confidence that will show when you tell people, and the questions and remarks will stop. At least that seems to be the norm for most people, right now you are still unsure of yourself, no matter how sure you are that you made the right decision, and when you respond to those questions those doubts float right to the surface. It also helps to get into a who cares what others think mentality.
When people look at me like that I just smile like I have a huge secret and say, "Well homeschooling definitely has perks! It's what works for us!" Once you've settled in a bit you will start to see the benifits for yourself. That's when these statements won't bug you so much. Good luck! Edie
Try to keep in mind some people myself on occasion included speak before they think. So after you talk with them or answer their seemingly intrusive questions perhaps they kick themselves for asking it in the first place. "There but for the grace of God go I"-John Bradford c 1510-1555
I agree that you just have to shrug it off. I tell people that we believe hs'ing is the best option for our family and we are loving being together more. It is not the norm to homeschool, so you will get the looks and questions. But, most people (with any manners) will let it go after the initial questions...especially if you appear confident in your decision. Those who change the world step *out* of the crowd and follow their convictions!
Those sort of comments irk me as well! We were planning to send our kids to private school this fall, and everyone's reactions made me want to run right back to HS! ROFL Everyone was so excited and thrilled that we were sending our kids there. I especially hated the comment, "That will be so good for them to be around other kids." Now I get to tell everyone we are going back to HS. The inner, immature child in me wants to stick out my tounge and yell "Nana-na-naaaaa-na!"
Come join me in Alaska, homeschooling IS accepted. Their is an enormous amount of homeschoolers here. This is one state that when you tell people that you homeschool they are like "okay, well so does everyone else, lol". I do know what you mean and in alot of cases it comes from people that just don't understand and it doesn't help to try to get them to understand. You just smile and move on. As others have said ~ in time it just won't bother you.
It's all about confidence in your decision. I act as if HS is the best decision I could have possibly made for my family (which it is, otherwise, I wouldn't have made it!!) I'm sure you feel the same way. Just tell people that. "I feel confident that I have made the best decision for my family." How can anyone argue with that? If they try to make sly comments or anything, just keep repeating yourself like a broken record. They'll get the hint soon enough.
I know this isn't very nice, but.... teach your kids that when someone says anything against how your family lives, to raise their eyebrows, turn to you and all of you laugh politely as if you all share a secret that you are not about to share. Okay that is evil I guess, but our family...our decision... not theirs.
You could always say, "well at least I am not teaching them poor manners in social situations". Then hand them a can of bean dip! As you are walking off, tell your kids, "now that is an excellent example of someone who apparently was not taught how to properly socialize."
I hate the question WHY?!?!?!?! and it is asked just like that it is with the kinda half cocked head and crinkled nose/for-head lol
One I love to do is to ask them questions about what is bad about homeschooling and homeschool children. Then I'll tell them, "Did you know I was homeschooled?" ROFL Foot-in-mouth!
I have never had a bad experience until last week with a person in our SS class at church who is a ps high school teacher. When he found out we homeschooled, he decided to tell us all about a girl in one of his classes who had previously been homeschooled and was now having a horrible time in school because she didn't know how to be around people (to me her problem sounded more like she was more mature than the kids he was used to being around). He didn't stop talking for five minutes about all the problems this girl had. I have never listed off all the many reasons that I think ps is bad to anyone who has chosen that for their family. It has been almost a week now and I am still bothered. I guess there are those people out there, but yes, I get upset over this too.
I've found out over the years as we've made some counter-cultural decisions for our family that people are a lot like chickens - they look for those different from the others and peck on the weak. Honestly, the best thing you can do is to be bold and cheerful when you state you are homeschooling, "I am so excited that we'll be homeschooling this year!" said with a big smile. People are seriously very afraid that they'll be the one that is different, so if you are confident enough, they will back down. If they try to attack your decision or tell you an awful story, respond, "Reeeaaaalllyyy? Well, my experiences have been very different than yours and the research agrees." Said with skepticism and confidence, like you think they really must be mistaken at best or maybe even fibbing. For family, the best thing to do is to say, "Thank you, I'll consider that," and refuse to discuss it further. Just keep saying the same thing. If you defend your decision or argue with family, they will only believe that you can still be convinced. For family, the proof is in the pudding - they'll believe when they see the results. Saying, "Thank you I'll consider that," over and over until they lose interest tells them, "I heard your concern, I'll take it seriously, and it's my decision." Don't worry, it won't be long before folks are apologizing for their decision to send their children to public school when you talk to them! LOL Hope that helps, Melanie Happy wife to Hal, Mama to six great sons and two little princesses
It is amazing the liberty some people take with sticking their nose in other people's business. I never ask those who send their kids to public school if they are worried about drugs, bullying, sex predators disguised as teachers or the failing school system. I do not get a lot of questions about my decisions...but I never appreciate it when I do...IF the questions are simply to make a point. If someone really wants to know I'll talk your ear off. lol
