6yo is making me a little nuts--just a little--because I cant win with this kid. I have him on an academic lull--super, super easy and light work load each day and he complains that he's doing "baby work". If I give him something --ONE THING--more toward his level then he complains that he "cant do it" (because I cant sit with him during the day right now.) He's learning to work independently now after spending the summer doing his work in my lap. I have him reading 1 book a day (Book A Day). I had intended to keep him on a fast paced schedule this fall, but because of school, and all the advice I'd been given here, I decided to slow him up big time until September 1st. He whines if: he gets no work. If he gets a "baby" work or a little work on his level I'm trying to get him to work independently and that is the basis of his whining when I give him work on his level, I think. The obvious solution would be for me to go back to sitting with him when I am home, having him do his work under my supervision. But then, the lesson of working independently isn't really being learned, is it?
It might be a little unreasonable to expect a 6yo to work independently, especially if he had gotten used to doing all of his work with you.. I only say this because I have a 6yo and cannot imagine him being able to do much independently right now. If it works for you, maybe you could try a more gradual approach. Start out by doing most of his work with him, but give him a few things he can accomplish on his. Over time, add more and more things. It might not seem so overwhelming to him that way? Just a thought.
I don't think most 6 year olds can work independently. I would just continue to work with him when you can.
I agree my son at six wasn't able to be alone. The reason. He was lonely and needed input. Now at seven I still stay the three hours we school with both kids. I think it makes him feel better knowing he can ask questions when he has them rather then being expected to do it and make mistakes. He tends to be a perfectionist. So if he doesn't understand what the question is saying he will not do it until he has it right in his head. Which usually involves asking me a LOT. Sometimes at that age they are just needing Mom too. I am giving my son easier work load while I focus on my daughter learning to read. He is doing pretty good with the independent work so far. But I mean it's easy for him a lot of review of what he knows. And yes he complains if it is too easy also. He refuses to write if he thinks it's beneath him and asks to orally do it. Which I consider progress so I let him. Boys are sure different from us girls.
No, he probably can't work independently, but you can still TRAIN HIM to work independently. And that will mean different things for different people. There is no reasonable reason why you can't go over his math with him, give him an assignment, and leave the room to do laundry or nurse the baby or fix lunch while he's doing it. Sure, if he has a question he can ask, but he shouldn't need someone sitting right there next to him, encouraging him to go on to the next problem the whole time!
We have six sons, all past this age, and speak and write on raising sons. We greatly encourage folks to teach their sons to work independently and to take responsibility. That said, I really would be surprised to the point of shock if an average six year old boy *was* able to work independently. It's just not very likely at that age. Boys of six _generally_ (not all of them) have trouble sitting still very long at all, are easily distracted, and find handwriting pretty tiring and difficult. So, what do you do if you just *can't* sit down with him?? I understand - seriously - we spent much of this year traveling and when we were home, we were at Duke with Dad/dh getting chemotherapy. Well, you have him follow you around with his book and pencil and sit down next to wherever you're working. Be prepared for lots of questions and tons of interruptions, and much less efficient work on his part, but you've got to do what you've got to do to survive. Don't despair, though. Every year, he'll get a little more responsible and a little more able to handle independence (with a little retrograde motion at times, esp in the 9-11 age range . You are doing the right thing to train him toward that end, just don't want you both to get too frustrated! {{{hugs}}} Melanie
Welcome, Melanie!!! I'm afraid I'm going to hijack this post for a minute. My Phillip is 10.5, my third (and final!) child (and only boy!). The last two days he's gotten frustrated because he doesn't LIKE this or that, and obviously I don't care about him because I've told him he has to do it anyway. Now, I've been told that boys reach a place where Mom has to back off a bit and let Dad take more the lead, that it has to do with "becoming a man" sort of stuff. And I was wondering if this is what we're dealing with right now. I understand that he still had to mind me and all, and I did discuss it with my husband tonight. If we have a "meltdown" again tomorrow, he's going to have a talk with him.
Yes, this. ^^^^ You can teach independance through life. It doesn't have to only be with school work. Is there a particular topic that he needs more help with than others? Like, if he complains about the book-a-day thing, have him do it with an audio book so he can follow along. My son LOVES reading along to an audio. It's how I got him to realize chapter books aren't scary because the pictures are in your head. I remember loving audios as a child. Heck, I still love it. It's the reason I bought the CD's to go along with our Mystery of History book. :lol: If math is the struggle, make daily life his math work. Have him help you every time you do something that requires numbers. Even if it's figuring out how much detergent to add to the washer based on the size of your laundry load. Fractions are fractions. Any kid who's old enough to yell "No, that's miiine!" knows what fractions are and can learn to use them to his/her advantage. Get creative with the kids, and be more specific in your requests for help here.
I agree with the PPs. Many (maybe most) 6 year old boys aren't going to work independently. Mine doesn't. He's 6. That's still VERY in the grand scheme of things. My son did addition worksheets like almost every day in PS k last year. If I set one in front of him, he'll say he doesn't know what to do. I have to give directions for EVERY worksheet I give him. If it's a 2 sided worksheet with the same thing on both sides-I still have to give directions for each side. For him, it's a fear of doing something wrong. Usually I can give him the directions, watch him start, then walk away while he finishes. Some days though, he just wants me to sit beside him while he does it. Sometimes I'll just sit and watch, sometimes we talk as he does it, sometimes I'll read to him while he does it (teaching multi-tasking! LOL) sometimes I'll help him (even if he doesn't need it) and sometimes like for math, I'll use his lap dry erase board and have him do the problem/explanation or sentence or word orally then copy the answer on to his worksheet. These times (unless it's a new concept) are just he wants attention and to spend time with me. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Yes I have other things to do too, but he'll be grown in gone and no time, so I try to remind myself "this is why I homeschool, to spend time with him" I know you're not his mom, but you are the main (or one of the main) caregivers in his life, so it could just be that he wants to spend time with you. I think that's totally okay for a 6 year old.
Sonita you sound like we could be the same person. Sit and watch, sit and talk, sit and do together, anything that works for that day
Great advice all around, thanks. I'm going to try setting him at the desk and working in the room as he works/reads/whatever it is he does. We'll see how he progresses during the month of September toward working NON dependently, since even I think independence at this stage is asking a bit much. I wish I had more time, the days aren't long enough sometimes, others the days just wont seem to end... He's doing rather well with Book A Day now, I think it was really just a matter of having the wrong fit for books. He proudly reported to me that he'd read 2 books and hadn't any trouble with them at all. I learned that he likes Little Critter, Mighty Machines and other easy non-fiction books. So, I went to the library and got more of those series. I brought home the Beginning Reader versions of LC because there wasn't space in my bag to carry the wider, hardbound copies but 6yo was really happy to have them. Hopefully we'll have smooth sailing for the next few weeks as he gets through these books. Ya' know I wouldn't have guessed that reading would be harder than learning to read...0_0. Live and learn, I guess.
Same person....does that mean you are going to clean my kitchen??? It needs it and it is my..I mean our...responsibility LOL Seriously though, it took me a while but I figured out it's best to just go with the flow each day, and he's 6 so each day is different as to what he wants and needs from me.
Well, for all my "big talk" about my kids working independently.... I could have kicked Phillip's butt today, lol!!! He had a mapping page to do, and you really needed to look things up in different books/online to do it. Plus, I gave it to both Phillip and Faythe, and so HE decided that if it was "appropriate" for Faythe, it must be too hard for HIM.... I really had to sit down with him and help walk him through, though it REALLY shouldn't have been too difficult. He was just being LAZY!!!
Luckily I have things I can do while sitting next to my kids during school. I bead! I do a lot of festivals and sell my beaded jewelry, so it's a perfect thing to work on during school time. DD (11) is pretty independant... just likes to have me available for questions and we do some of her work together when she finds it more difficult. She's doing cultural geography which she finds pretty challenging this year. So I usually do that with her. DS (8) can do some things independently. He does his handwriting independently, and does math with just a little explanation unless we are starting a new topic. He likes attention during his language arts, and he reads outloud to me daily. So these things he needs me for more. DD (5) is totally dependant... though she can do her handwriting after I tell her where to start. She likes to be on my lap for school, so we do a lot of hers in the living room. Edie
Oh, me too. I don't sell my work, and I started for different reasons, but even now, my oldest who would like to work independently and is BIG into school, can't. I mean, he'll sit there all day long, and get nothing done (unless it's read a book LOL). So I sit there and do handwork while redirecting him every so often. It can be *so* frustrating, to give him 10-15 minutes worth of work, only to have to take an hour because he keeps stopping to think about a better strategy for his most recent favorite video game or to tell me something hilarious the Pink Pather did last night. I will say...after hearing all the details about video games and the Pink Panther (and Superman, etc), I have a much higher expectation for his narration LOL
LOL, so funny! It is amazing what they can remember about something that interests them. When my 6 year old does a math page independently where he has to draw lines to connect two things I always have to have him do it orally when I review it with him. His lines take a trip around the world and go on so many twists and turns the page looks like there are 1000 lines instead of the 4 there should be. There are so many doodles on the page too. Can you tell he needs a creative outlet?
