I have never come across someone who is absolutely deadset against homeschooling. Is this actually very common? A friend of mine is debating between homeschool and public school and her cousin practically told her it was going to harm her children for life, that they would never be able to function in the real world. It is my first experience with this kind of mindset. It actually amazed me. So I linked her to some studies off hslda showing the accomplishments of HSers and she didn't even read it. She just continued to make it sound like homeschooling was borderline abusive :x Is this common? Am I going to face this kind of blatant ignorance on a regular basis? Should I carry around a book of statistics if I end up HSing? Lol. I'm almost serious about that last question.
Be sure to tell her that "discussing" it with her cousin is probably a waste of time. And guess what? IT'S NONE OF THE COUSIN'S BUSINESS!!! It's becoming less and less common, but it still exists. And be sure to have her read about Bean Dip, and to keep plenty on hand! Do not carry around statistics with you. Simply say that this is OUR CHOICE, and it is NOT open to discussion.
She actually posted on facebook asking for opinions, so she kind of made it the cousin's place to insert her opinion. So I can't argue that it wasnt her business. It was just how she actually insulted my friend, saying people without proper education shouldn't pretend to be professionals. I just can't imagine that there are a bunch of people who would actually attack someone for just considering the HS option. It blew my mind.
Ah. Then it's time she closes that discussion by a polite, "Thank you very much for your opinion." Send her to US instead!
Ditto, Jackie. People like that are itching for a fight because they're unsure of their own opinions. When threatened by hard facts, they'll fight harder and meaner. Ignore it. You DON'T need to walk around with a book of stats... just become one. Results win people. Words just make them mad.
I did post a link to the forum for her Idk if she wants to join or not though. And the discussion ended on a pretty harsh note. It was really upsetting. But I guess people will be people.
In my experience, it works both ways. Some people we knew were totally dismissive when we stopped homeschooling our oldest and put her back into school. It's more a personality trait than anything else: Anything but their approach is simply the wrong approach. As you say, they seem to love a fight. IMO, different approaches work best for different children, and it depends on a whole lot of factors. If others can't see that, it's their problem.
Ava I so agree. Private business is just that. If you don't want comments don't open the floor up for them.
Unfortunately this is common in DHs family and a lot of people we know. Fortunately they know better than to really cross me because I am not that nice and will tell people to mind their own business!
Ha ha! I love that you are so blunt about that!:lol: yes, people are that against hs'ing. They are only basing that on a fear of stepping out of the box. They usually don't trust their own insticts about stuff so they don't understand people who ARE confident in their own abilities. I only deal with one really negative person in my family,but I don't see her enough to need to prove anything to her. So I have never had to face that kind of opposition. But your friend really did open herself up for that attack. makes me wonder if she was subconciously looking for a reason not to hs?
Cornish steve brings up a great point. There is hostility against NOT homeschooling sometimes. I have to be careful and remember just that it is working for us, that it is not for everybody. Even if they would benefit, it may just be too big of a change or not work out with their schedule. Then some kids do well in school. Then there is the added factor of: What type of homeschooling is right? Well, that can cause debates and hard feelings real quick. Is school-at-home better than relaxed? Is Charlotte Mason the only way to go? Is unschooling the best or is it even valid? What about ... BTW: I am in the middle of a lot of those methods--so I cannot really even label our type of homeschooling. So, I guess it all boils down to this--there is animosity towards homeschooling. Most of this if probably due to what has been ingrained in society for so long. It is very common for people to be uncomfortable with or even downright set against what they are unfamiliar with. I would just try to inform and if after that they are still hostile--let it go and move on.
yes... I think that many people feel threatened when others make choices different from their own. They inject their own feelings of inadequacies into your decision. If you are homeschooling...and they are not, they assume you are saying their choice is wrong, and get defensive. It is like other peoples husbands...some of these men, I really like...but I am just so glad that I am not married to THEM. (and I am sure that some silly woman feels the same about mine. hee hee) But that doesn't mean her husband isn't a good choice for HER. I wonder if you could use that as an example in an argument with a die hard opponent?
It is very distressing and sad that your friend would get that type of response. Hopefully such strong, negative opinions on homeschooling are becoming more and more of a minority. This cousin has to refuse to look at the statistics to hold such a negative opinion. When you post to facebook you are invited all kinds of responses. You have to be ready to handle crazy people at any point. The public nature of facebook can be an excellent place to defend homeschooling, but it is not a great place to ask for counsel.
I am in the same boat with my DH and his EXACTLY SAME attitude to Hsing..besides, I have my MIL, my friends and friends of friends who think that HSing is damaging practice. Alas...Lucky you with your only experience with your relative
Not my relative...My relatives know better than to cross me, and I wouldn't ask for an opinion anyway. I know what I want to do and nobody can stop ME. I'm also way too outspoken to take that kind of nonsense from anyone and would have told her off before she even got started It was a friend posting for advice and her cousin attacking her for even considering it. I was kind of up in the mix of it, trying to defend my friend. She definitely ignored the studies...Because I posted links to some and she didn't even read them. She did say that there are studies showing it is detrimental though, but never linked them and I looked but can't find anything. That being said, it was kind of obvious she was talking out of her rear end.
When people feel confident in their choices and their kids seem normal and well adjusted, the folks who are knocking that choice will seem like jerks to continue harassing you. If you are confident that homeschooling is the best choice, more than likely, the jerks will keep quiet. At least that has been my experience.
Most people who find out we are homeschooling are pretty positive about it. However, I'm a little afraid to work with my son at the library again, as the last time we went there and were working on stuff, an old man came up to our table and tried to pick a fight with me over tutering (which he thought I was doing). I know he really would have had a cow if I'd corrected him. So there are crazys out there that just can't see anyway but their own.
