Thanks Jackie I checked the Pm and read as much as I needed. Just want to clarify I am not even considering letting him date, I was looking for back up for that untimely argument all teens tend to come up with when its somethign they want to con you out of..." that is so old fashioned and unfair, and why do you want to do this?" Well I know the why, and that old fashioned is okay, and unfair I don't care about cause after all no where in the Bible does it say " thus said the Lord life will be fair". lol, so Considering I prayed for my hubby to come into my life and for God to direct our paths, etc . I wrote a book on it and am rewriting it for publication soon because God brought us together, and that is really how I want my kids to go at it. Prayer first, last and always. ( I know I am not on the Christian issues page but God is kind of everywhere in my life?) So the reason I posted the question was to find out some other people are the same, so I can tell ds when he again proposes the question about wanted to know when he can date, and I say never-- and he says his cries I can tell him that it is quite common not to date anymore! because from what I know of my friends and thier plans with thier kids, and my reading here it is not common at all. And I am going to pick that book up that someone suggested as I think he will read it. Thanks for all your great encouraging words that proved me right! hehe! Thanks much! Be blessed! Teacher Mom ( ps you can tell my tendonitis is doing better today I wrote a long one again! sorry)
I dont know if my input will help much, since im not yet a parent (only 16) or even an adult for that matter. But as a kid growing up through the public school system i remember going on a few dates with a girlfriend from time to time. Maybe once or twice a month, nothing to over the top. My parents, before they got divorced, really trusted me and i respected their decision to do so. I never did anything that would make me or my gilfriend feel uncomfortable. I recommend that you have your son or daughter invite the boyfriend or girlfriend over for a cookout or something and get to know them a bit better. I think its all about knowing your kid, and knowing that they are smart enough not to do anything "stupid". That's just my input, i totally respect anyone's decision to not allow their kids to date.
Right now my dd (14) has a little boy that she likes and he likes her. We meet at a park in a nearby town. That is the only time they can see each other. They are also allowed to call and talk on the phone or email but that's it. She can have him over when she is 16. He will be invited when we go out with us as a family. But no alone dating until she is older. This will go for any boy that she may want to see. I was allowed to date alone when I was 16 and was lucky, because I dated my best friend. He and I had an understanding no kissing and no hanky panky. We dated all through high school. Then I met and fell in love with my hubby now. Have you ever read a book by Stormie Omartian, "Power of a Praying Parent". She tells you to start praying for your childs wife/husband when they are still little, and continue through out life. Every parent needs to read this book. NOT TRYING TO SELL A BOOK!!! Just a suggestion.
Thats okay Brad, I was glad to hear from a ( if you'll pardon the expression being as you said you were 16) kids point of view.
A lot more so than a few other teens we've come across around here...don't know if mentioning names would be appropriate. One in particular comes to mind from awhile back. Kudos to you Brad.
Thank you. I've been complemented as being pretty mature for a teenager, and its greatly appreciated.
We had an issue with a homeschool boy not too long ago that was very judgemental towards others who did not make the same choices he did. As long as you aren't like that, you're cool with me.
I'm new here, but I thought I'd add a thought to this thread. My oldest will be 15 next week, just finishing up 9th grade. Dh and I don't believe in dating, and especially at such a young age. Mine hasn't really expressed much interest yet, but I've been planting the seeds of what I believe about it all in him for several years now. We've told him (and his younger brothers) that God already has a wife picked out for them, and that there is no need for all of that "divorce practice" that is commonly known as dating, nor the temptations that go along with it. When the time is right, God will bring her to him, in His own way. I'm sure that at some point (after 16 for certain) I would have no problem with group events...but even that would be something that I would have to think out in detail. I know a lot of families who feel the same way, some homeschool, some don't. I think it's just a sign that our generation is realizing that alot of the ideas that we're simply handed over to us as what's normal aren't necessarily good.
Wow, this has been wonderful, all this encoruagment that I am not alone in my thinking or that hubby and I aren't, and the support of knowing this is helping me not feel like I am just wierd haha. I did not date much at all myself, I mean my hubby is my first and only boyfriend, but I was not a Christian, I was just shy and liked the guys who were not. I believe my great grandmother was praying for me to find a Godly man like I found because she lived to be 107 and went home just after we told my mom ( and she lived there too) that I was engaged to my sweetiest of sweetie pies... sigh.. Oh ehe, Anyway I want my kids to pray as well , we have prayed since they were in the womb for thier future help mates. I think what I really needed was to see that other parents are on the same page with me sort of for fule when my son says... but mom the guys at school say... yaada yada yada... He has changed a lot since going out to school some in good ways some in ways I wish he had not... but I am the mom so I have to work to achieve that 'way that he should go' for a while yet. He too is almost 15. Way too young in my book to even think of dates anyway and I have told him that, he just laughs and says I am old fashioned... and I say well maybe so but its a good thing! hehe He is a godly kid and knows the Word so I bring up what the bible says about most things, so he asked me what it says about this subject too. So now I will be studying on that! Wee! I love Bible studies thats one of my callings so praising the Lord ( I know its not Christianissues sorry if I offended anyone). Be blessed not stressed! Teacher Mom
Hello! I just posted a question on the "dating?" thread, but I noticed that has not been used recently; so I'll ask a summarized version here: Does anyone know of a homeschool courtship database, somewhat like eHarmony, which would allow FAMILIES to get to know eachother? Or does a homeschool "dating" on-line service exist at all? Friends who have used eHarmony are impressed with the built-in protections, but it excludes teens. Thanks for your thoughts.
I think something like that could be awefully dangerous. Thank God that eHarmony excludes teens. Teens shouldn't be going on something like that to begin with, in my opinion. Not for dating purposes anyway.
More explanation, if you would be so kind Jen, thanks for responding. Could you share what the dangers are, that you see, for an 18-year old looking on something like eHarmony over regular dating. To me, it looks like there would be fewer dangers, because the physical aspects are not there. A lot of "weeding out" takes place before similar-minded people even begin to correspond. Appreciate your taking the time to help me think this through... PrairieHome
I think most dating sites are rotten, But eharmony seems to be the least problematic. But it also has very little contact with other people. I actually signed up there once.. bought a three month package (had a coupon to get it for the price of one month) I had so few matches they kept giving me extentions till i was there over a year.. Over all I was able to actually correspond with maybe 5 men. I have never heard of such a database for families.
My cousin met someone through e-harmony, wasn't a pleasant experience. The guy was not who he said he was. In a nutshell, how can you be sure the person is for real? How can you be sure the person is who they are suppose to be? Anyone can easily make a fake account to go and meet people. You can read about all the internet dangers that teens face in any article about internet safety. I would be leary. With all of the predators and con jobs out there, I would not trust anyone or anything they say, especially over the internet, family based or not. We have even had a few visitors on here in the past to be leary of. It can happen anywhere and you can never be too safe.
How can you be sure the person is who they are suppose to be? Anyone can easily make a fake account to go and meet people. You can read about all the internet dangers that teens face in any article about internet safety." I agree with what Jen said. I would be leary too. I know that people have been married already and realised the person was not who they said they were on the internet. Some people are actualy already married too and use that as a side thing with ficticious (sp?) names etc, I saw something on some news show about that. It is scary. One reason I wont let my teen on the talk things like MyYearBook.com and MySpace is because they don't have the blinders we adults have hopefully formed and they will be subjected to all kinds of really rude comments and then think its the 'norm'. There is no end the the problems that could arrise. I have one friend who did marry someone from one of those dating things and is happlily ever after but that was after coresponding for over a year visiting the person where they were at and talking to other people making sure the person was totaly real etc. It can be scary when we talk to peoples on line. Even with MSg boards like this, forums, we have to be careful because preditors are really out there, not to scare anyone. So far you all seem like safe folks, hope so! ( grin)
