I don't do it, so I am at a loss how to handle a friend who does? I mean I say what I want to say about the situation and then move on. However, she continues to talk about it and dwell on it. I am really good friends with this person. She is the closest thing I have the a best friend, but this is driving me nuts! I don't want to talk about it any more!! I said I was over it (she hurt my feelings) and lets move on! Not sure of the question here but I really dont know how to handle this any more. It's stressing me out.
tell her how you feel.. your over it and really don't care to hear about it.. it happened now lets build a bridge and get over it..
Are you sure it's a grudge and not more of a situation where she just needs more closure? A grudge to me is when someone holds something over your head, or when someone allows themselves to get continuously angry at the offender for no reason because of the past situation. Closure is more or less when people just need to talk more about it so they can move on. If she hurt YOUR feelings, then it sounds like it's not a grudge, but more or less of a closure type situation because she probably feels really bad she hurt you.
I would agree, except that the situation was dealt with as far as I thought and keeps coming back up.
There is another past situation that this is happening with too I should add. Grudge, closure, whatever, I am kind of to the point where I just dont want to deal with it. She knows how I feel, I have said what I could and at first I really wanted to make it right but now all I can do is leave it to her and move on.
I personally think "closure" is overrated. This isn't to say that some problems in life don't take time for healing or do not require closure. On the contrary, some do; like a death of a loved one, dealing with a divorce, childhood problems, or basically something earth shattering and life changing. But an argument or disagreement is completely different. In these situations closure is just an excuse to rehash and hold onto something. I do believe that every person should have a say as to how they feel and why, but after that, move on. Life is hard enough and there are real problems in life that need closure. Perhaps your friend has a problem from the past that she hasn't found true, necessary closure with and this is just a symptom to a bigger problem. Still, assuming you heard her out and she did have her fair say, I would speak to her about this problem since you are good friends.
