I didn't have many rules growing up but I just thought of two more that I couldn't stand. One was we could not sit or lay on our beds when they were made and the other was we could not lay or put our feet on the couch. Our house was always ready for Better Homes and Gardens to come in or out to take pictures, it NEVER looked lived in. My home now always looks lived in and I love it.
Well this isn't a rule but kind of goes with the theme here. I was not allowed to do chores. I asked to do them and was not allowed because either I couldn't do them right or I was a girl and girls didn't do things like mow the lawn. I have my kids do all kinds of chores and Samantha mows the grass with a riding mower and does just fine.
Beth, my mom used to be that way. :/ When she'd ask you to do something, you better jump up and do it....b/c God help you if she had to do it herself. If you said, "I'll do it in a minute," or "Let me finish this first and then I will." She would nod and say, "Alright then." and she'd do it herself. You get up to do whatever it was and find it's already done, and then you knew Mom was MAD! She's definately not like that anymore, and I'm alot more eager to help her now and pre-empt her asking me to do something. I try to be more patient with my boys, but I do have to say, it IS hard.
Like most, we had a lot of rules, but they were pretty normal ones...be respectful, obey your parents, etc. The only one that really was irritating was the 'clean your plate' rule. It wasn't totally enforced all the time, but I remember sitting there starring at my plate for over an hour sometimes because I didn't want to eat what we were having. I do not have the clean your plate rule. I do, however, expect my kids to try the things that are on their plate. If we are having something I know they like, they have to eat a few bites out of respect. If they try it and don't like it, then I don't force them to eat it.
We were expected to respect our parents but we really did not have a lot of household responsibilities growing up. I do resent that now, because I do not know how to clean, keep house, etc and I know I want to teach my daughter, but how can I when I don't know myself? KWIM?
Rules that I disliked. Was definitely the clean your plate rule. My mother would heap it with food too much for a little kids tummy and I would feel stuffed every day. Some days you just didn't want to eat that much Other then that being the youngest of four my mother relaxed most of the rules for me. So there wasn't a whole lot to not like.
I make my kids do some minor things before breakfast....get dressed, make bed, deposit clothes in a basket. Stuff that takes less than 5 minutes if you hustle. My reasoning is this...they "forget" if they don't have a time limit. Anything that takes energy gets to wait till after. One rule my family had was that girls weren't allowed to call boys. I can see the logic of it now.
When I was a little kid we had basically no rules, really. We lived int he country and my mom did everything for us. WHen I was 12 my parents divorced and my dad remarried. my step mother had a LOT of rules and we rebelled because of it. Loud fights were common in our house between us and her for the first year or so. Then I figured out that if I just followed the rules my life would quite down. The rule I hated the most-even though we were teenagers we were not allowed to answer the door, answer the phone, or use the phone if they were not home. Now that I am a mom, I will have the same rule since I realize why we had it.
My parents did very little, if any, positive reinforcement or reward system. We had to work and do our chores because we were members of the family. If we did not do this, we were punished. We didn't get to earn anything, unless it was for something exceptional. This resulted in a lot of unmotivated children (9 of us) and a mom who yelled and screamed a lot. We were punished a lot for not doing satisfactory work. I do understand the importance of children learning to contribute to the household out of duty and responsibility, but I also believe there is a very important place for giving children a positive return for their work. I Timothy 5:18 "For the Scripture says, “You shall not muzzle an ox while it treads out the grain,” and, “The laborer is worthy of his wages.""
My mom was/is the exact same way. I remember having to mop, and re-mop, and re-re-mop the floors. Now that I'm an adult, I *never* feel like my floors, counters, walls or baseboards are clean enough. Hehe
My parents fought a lot, so to a large extent we were left to ourelves. She was weird about cleaning though.. she'd check and double check your work and make you redo it (like the pp). The other thing was that you weren't done until she told you that you were. It didn't matter if you were little and exhausted. You had to keep at it until she let you go. I remember at a friend's house the father would kick us out of his favorite chair whenever he wanted to sit in it. That rule drove me CRAZY! We don't have favorite chairs in my house, but I certainly understand why an achey adult would want something comfy to sit in
My parents were pretty fair, and had "normal" rules. One rule my parents had that I didn't understand was no phone calls after 9pm. This was waaay back before internet, cell phones and texting lol.. I didn't like having to hang up at 9pm when I didn't have to be in bed until 10pm. As a mother, and an early-to-bed mom at that, I have the same rule. If the phone rings after 9pm I automatically assume there is an emergency. Another rule I never understood was that my parents bedroom was off limits. I have the same rule. I don't mean in the don't-knock-ever way, I mean no one is allowed to be in our room for any reason unless my husband or I are in there. I keep my guns (locked, but still off limits to kids) stored in there, and other things that are not child friendly so to me its a safety issue.
We couldn't make calls or get calls after 9:00 pm but we could be on the phone until 10:00 pm. That's the rule in this house too. Can't make calls until 10:00 am either. I love to sleep late, I don't get to, but, I use to not want the phone to ring before 10:00 am so we don't call anyone until after that, just incase they do get to sleep late.
I'm clueless, why wouldn't you tell the kids what's for dinner? Since a few of you agreed with this one I guess I'm the oddball.
I don't tell my girls what's for dinner either, the main reason is I don't want them saying that they don't want it. I feel like I make the menu, I don't cook anything they don't like, so you eat what is on the table. NOw, I will tell my hubby if he asks only cause if he don't want it than I change it... he works to feed us so... you know what i mean :angel:
Same here too. Like someone else said, this is not a restaurant. I do not make things I know my kids won't eat. I am actually pickier than my kids so I expect when I cook, they will eat. My older daughters job in the morning is to pick out some sort of meat from the freezers, and put it out to thaw. It all depends on what I have on hand as to what I do with the meat. I have a very large pantry, so I can usually fix just about anything...so my schedule that day, and my mood determine what is for dinner.
I'm late to this one, but wanted to chime in... We had to make my dad's lunch every night, and it drove me CRAZY. Mainly because I can remember begin woke up to a belt across my hind end at five in the morning if we forgot. My kids don't make my husbands lunch. Actually, up until last year, my husband was told that if he wanted lunch he was old enough to make it himself. He doesn't like sandwiches made the night before and I didn't want to get up at four in the morning to make it. Yes, I was being lazy and make it most of the time now. My kids have chores, but the help out, they don't clean the whole house. Growing up, I was home schooled and my mom and dad both worked, so we went to work with mom. We would come home all at the same time and if the house wasn't clean, we would be yelled at. I think I learned a lot from my growing up, and I have fought for my kids, that I don't raise them the way I was. Oh, stupid rule that I do not understand now....We were allowed to have boys in our rooms as long as the door was open, and there were many times I had boys in the house with my parents approval when they were not at home. Now, my kids are NOT, in ANY WAY, having the opposite sex in their room, or in the house unless I am there...I am SO blessed that didn't wind up in a really bad position!
I was really ignorant of most of my parent's rules. It seems discipline would just be coming my way, and I didn't see it coming, didn't know how to avoid it. My parents were not great at communicating what the expectations were. I think they just assumed that they had covered that already with my older siblings, and I should already know. I didn't. I have tried to communicate more clearly with my own kids. These are some rules that I managed to completely miss as a child, and only learned about them after I had children of my own, at which time my mom was horrified to learn that not only had I done these things throughout my childhood, but I also have allowed my children to do them. 1. No climbing trees (We grew up on a farm, and were outside during almost all of our free time, roaming 200+ acres. You bet we climbed trees. I just didn't know that it wasn't allowed.) 2. It is inappropriate for girls to whistle. (I was pretty much seen and not heard when my parents were around, so I only whistled while out doors.)
