Mistreated at The Nutcracker because we are homeschoolers!

Our homeschool group consists of 18 families. We got great prices on tickets for The Nutcracker as a group, to attend on Education Day. It is basically the dress rehearsal for the real deal. I should have known something was up when they refused to return our calls for weeks. We were told that it is for public schooled children.

With much prodding on the part of one of our dilligent moms, we were allowed to come as a group. We were told the seats were first come, first serve, so get there early. Our group arrived first and shivered outside in line, waiting to get the best seats. Then the busses arrive. We are told that the public schooled children get the best seats, to move aside and let them in first. We explained that we had been waiting since 8:45 A.M. and thought it was first come, first serve. Well, it is...IF you are from a public school.

Our group graciously stepped aside and waited for their chance to enter. Thank goodness (for everyone) that I wasn't there. I received all if this info from a mom who went, along with my 9yo daughter who was able to attend. I was at home taking care of my sick hubby. Maybe that is what God intended, as I would likely have made a big stink, and rightly so, in my opinion.

So, they get in and a female attendant was handing out coloring sheets and info on the history of The Nutcracker. "Yea", thought all of the moms in our group. Now it is a "educational school day"....lol! Well, it would have been had our children been allowed the handouts. They were "for public schooled children ONLY".

The mom who organized this field trip handed some of the sheets to another member in our group. She said a public school teacher gave them to her and said "I thought your kids might like to have these." I am sure our mom thought, "Wow, how nice." <strong>BUT</strong> then the teacher threw in "And when you get sick of your kids, you can send them to us!!!!"

I heard all of this from our group's leader, who also was not able to attend due to being sick. I was SO angry. My husband was furious. He wanted to contact the news...haha! They would likely agree with the way we were treated though. Can you believe this? There has to be something we can do. We have the mean lady's name. Should we call and complain? Who would we call?

 

Just... wow. Wow. :shock:

 

That is so wrong! I am very sorry your group was treated like that. What is wrong with people?

 

I know...you can't beat the price...we paid $10 per ticket, however, it is not worth it to get treated like that!

 

I just don't get what issues the general public may have with homeschoolers. As a parent, I respect people whether they choose a public, private, or at home school. Your choice does not even lead me to believe that I would have a reason, let alone the right, to treat you any differently.

Now, as a teacher I do have issues to get over... when I was picking up ds at a church event the neighbors (homeschoolers) invited him to, I was naturally chatting with the kids there and quickly learned that they were mostly homeschoooled. I was polite, of course, but felt uncomfortable... thinking "I am a teacher, among people that don't like teachers." But, again, I would never think or say what the teacher said to your group.

 

I wouldn't say that most homeschoolers don't like teachers. It is the students, curriculum, and the policies that are the problem for me. Not that all teachers are good, but the ones I know and am friends with are lovely Christian women that I would hope IF my kids went to school they would have as teachers.

RENMEW -
Just out of curiousity, if you are a teacher, I am assuming you don't homeschool...what are you on HSspot for? lol!!! That was meant to be funny, not rude!

 

Just to reitterate what Carrie said, we don't hate teachers. It's the system as a whole that most of us do not like. Many of my good friends are teachers. They are a little weirded out by the homeschooling thing, because in a way, they feel that by homeschooling we are against them. We have just learned not to talk about school haha.

Most teachers I know are genuinely good people, with the best intentions and a very deep passion for what they do. They just can't give my children the kind of education we are looking for

 

RENMEW -
Just out of curiousity, if you are a teacher, I am assuming you don't homeschool...what are you on HSspot for? lol!!! That was meant to be funny, not rude![/QUOTE]

I've just learned today that the correct term for me is an afterschooler. lol

My own kids were in Los Angeles Unified for several years and it was just a disaster. I only kept them there because they were special needs and I figured they needed the services. I finally moved them this fall to the small private school where I teach and that has helped some... Still, while I have to teach within some narrow confines, I do the best I can to individualize instruction for the 29 kids in my 2nd grade class. There are a couple teachers like me there, and some others that simply run the current group through the same old program year after year.

I am beginning to afterschool my two boys (grades 1 and 5) and work with my girls (ages 2 and 4) as much as I can in the evenings and weekends. I am also newly separated and living with my parents again, so time is limited by I am trying to do what I can.

I love what you guys do here and I'm trying to learn what I can.

 

And I totally get that now. I think it was just my fist reaction, a little "weirded out" and I am much more comfortable now. If I could homeschool full time, I totally would... finances just don't allow that for my family.

 

After homeschooling for 5 years, I am still learning myself! I think education in a whole is a lifelong journey. I admire you for caring so much about your children's education. You must be super busy & tired all of the time.

 

Yeah that stinks how your homeschoolers were treated. I am afraid, though, that if you complain to the Nutcracker people or the news, it will fall on deaf ears. The only ones that feel the unfairness about it is other homeschoolers.

 

Did anyone ask what their policy is for private schools? That would shed more light on the issue, I think.

I think I would still talk to the people in charge of the production. It is the appropriate first step in correcting the problem in a positive way. If that gets you nowhere, you may want to have the families in your group all contact the theater (now you have two or three witnesses) And if that gets you nowhere, you might want to go public in the form of a letter to the editor of a local paper. They often get their local interest stories from these submissions. As long as you remain blameless during this process, it would seem that you have an opportunity to pave the way for homeschoolers in your area to enjoy less discrimination in the future.

 

I used to be the director of education for a large regional performing arts organization - I may be able to give you some direction here.

First, ABSOLUTELY - make sure you get in contact with the correct people and communicate clearly your concerns. Even if the anti-homeschool attitude was from the organization (as opposed to the public school people), they will most likely *not* change until they become educated, both about what happened and who homeschoolers"are."

I would contact the director of education/community relations staff member who was in charge of the organization that produced the ballet. THIS MAY NOT BE THE PERFORMANCE HALL. When I worked in this industry, performance halls and performing arts groups were completely separate entities - separate locations, separate staff, separate budgets. Surprisingly little crossover (or communication). I organized 10-15 educational concerts per year and I never spoke with anyone at the hall. In my organization, that was under "operations." You can probably find out the right organization and the right staff person by visiting a few websites.

Second (I know this is a pain), but try to set up an appointment. You'll do better face to face with these people. If necessary, a phone call may do it, but people are more apt to take it seriously and remember if they have to interact with you personally. A phone call is easy to forget/put off/etc.

If it were me, I'd couch this as trying to educate myself, and find out the best way to participate in educational programming in the future. When the opportunity presented itself, I'd make a point of expressing how frustrating it was to wait, then to not be given handouts, then to receive some with that remark. This is why it's so important to get to the right staff person: Ticket costs (even full price) virtually NEVER cover these performances - especially educational programming is funded through charitable donations. Most education related charitable donations are designated gifts, which means that money cannot legally be spent on anything else. While technically that didn't happen here, I can assure you when *I* was the Dir of Ed, the last thing I would want was a story like your getting back to my donors.

That said, personally, going to the press would not be my first choice of action. There's a possibility that it could backfire. The people that hold the purse strings on these donations sometimes respond poorly to doing laundry in public, and may either stop donating or tie some crazy stipulation to future donations like, "For public schools only." (I've seen things like this - the tough part is, it's THEIR money. If they're willing to cough up $100K per year, they have the right to express how they want it spent. And just because you have money doesn't mean that you understand a situation).

We would try to "tuck" homeschool families in with public school performances, since you'd have the odd seats left over and homeschool families may only have 2-5 attending. But it may be, in your group's case, attending on a private school performance say would be a better option (as a previous poster said).

I'm sorry that teacher said that. I taught for years in public schools. I don't anymore. I was always amazed at the insensitivity towards parents. Especially concerning since most of the teachers I knew were parents.

Edited to add: once you have met with the appropriate staff person in the organization that produced the show - if it's NOT the same as the hall management (which it may not be), then make a similar appointment with the corresponding staff person in the hall management. Often, the ushers/people giving directions are volunteers (but not always). It's important management knows what went on. (I'll tell you a little story. After I quit the dir of ed job, I worked for a private school for a year. I took them to a concert performed by the group I'd left, and one of these ushers started trying to push our private school group around. Well, I knew the score and pushed back. When people get the message from their supervisors that things are going to be a certain way, sometimes they also need to know that you have been informed how things are supposed to be, too...and that you know who to talk to if they aren't.)

 

Living in central Ohio, we have Ballet Met in Columbus. I have been attending their School Peformances for YEARS. And I have NEVER had that kind of treatment!!! Everyone has been wonderful to us, our seating has been comparible to everyone else's, copies of handouts are sent in the mail, one time we were even invited to come a few day early for some special introduction, and when we got there, we were the ONLY ones; I expected there to be many hs'ed families they brought together for it, as this is something they usually do at the school. The only "glitch" is that they will NOT allow you to bring younger kids (ie: preschoolers). That is a bit of problem for hs'ers, but it's NOT targeted at us. Parent chaperones for schools have to leave their little ones at home, too, and it would be silly to fuss over such a minor rule that's being applied to all.

I would seriously follow the suggestions Sandra put out. Who knows? Maybe they'll give you special treatment the next time!!!

 

I would definitely contact someone from the performing arts group and let them know how badly you were treated. That is not acceptable at all. If homeschoolers weren't welcome at the "public school performances" than they should have let you know that before taking your money.

As to the teacher who said they felt weird around homeschoolers, we don't hate teachers. The decision to homeschool is much more complicated than that and usually involves many factors. I admit that it was a bad teacher that finally caused me to homeschool, but I've met many good teachers too. My dad is a teacher, my future DIL is a teacher and I have friends who are teachers. I respect what they do, but feel that I can teach MY child better at this time.

 

We go to school performances all the time with our homeschool group. You might even want to talk to HSLDA and see what they say. If the show is for schools denying homeschoolers or even private schooler would be descrimination. I think this group needs some education concerning homeschoolers and their rights. I think if the people putting on the performance knew about the bad publicity this could bring just through word of mouth then they might be a little more caring next time.

 

Thank you eyeofthestorm for your response. That was good info. I will definately proceed in the way you suggested.

 

Oh my word!! That is absolutely horrible the way they treated the homeschooled families. My first thoughts were... good thing I wasn't there because like you suggested, I probably would have said something. Whether you choose to homeschool or go private or public, you still have the right to expect to be treated as a human being. But then I'm sitting here thinking, all the more reason to be thankful you are a homeschooler - not having to subject your children to the hatred out there - WOW!! And these are our educators... yippee. Hold me back while I try to contain my excitement <yes, that was sarcasm at its best>.

I am so sorry you had to be exposed to that in any way - whether first hand or from hearing about it. I'm even sorrier for the children who were there to see the season's worst in the form of hatred towards one group. Unbelievable.

I really do hope that by pursuing your complaint that it is resolved in a way that seems fitting to you

 

One word= Atrocious

 

Agreed!

That is a terrible experience.


For the record, I don't dislike teachers in the least. I have several friends who are teachers. I have even asked educational advice from them! LOL. I have nothing against teachers...moreover I respect them. Sure there are bad teachers out there but there is bad in every profession. My homeschooling is not a commentary on the educational system or teachers. While, I homeschool partly because of the schooling situation in my area...it is not the only reason. I would homeschool even if I lived where the schools were amazing.