Ever since my mom found out that we were going to homeschool the kids, she has had this image in her mind of us having "school at home" with the kids and I sitting around the table doing "work" for x number of hours a day.:roll: Since one of the things I talked about when we first decided to homeschool was that it would take less time, she somehow got the idea that we would be finished with school by noon everyday.:?: Try as I might, I can not seem to convince her otherwise. Yesterday afternoon, she called around 4:30. Me:"Hello?" Mom:"What's going on?" Me:"Spelling." Mom:"What? Spinning?" Me:"No, SPELLING! Like, spelling tests." Mom:"Huh?" Me:"S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G" Mom:"OH! Well, I didn't mean to interrupt your classroom! I just never imagined you would still be doing school at 4:30!I'll let you get back to your school." This morning, she called about 9. Me:"Hello?" Mom:"You haven't started school yet today have you?" Me:"No, we're not doing any schoolwork today since it's Sierra's birthday." Mom:"Oh, is that why you doubled up yesterday?" (because if we go past noon, we must be doing double) Me:"We didn't double up, but I thought that we would take today off for her birthday." Mom:"oh.?":| She just doesn't get that it's not "school at home" and I don't know how to make her understand. Is it even worth the effort, or do I just ignore it and go on? Anyway, not really a question, just needed to get it out of my head...
tIFFA--- Don't let it get to you. She will catch on eventually, or maybe she wont . Either way its really not so bad if she does not understand because the important thing is that you are schooling your kids to your kids' learning levels and schedules don't matter all that much to them I gather so why make it? We took a day off for just the birthday child here, made it special for her. The boys were in Summer lol.
((HUGS))) can you tell you mom during Mon-Friday you will not answer the phone between this time and time due to school or if you all are running late on something you wouldn't answer the phone. Just tell her you will call as soon as you done. Sometimes people don't get it. But, with time and little help from you they will.
My MIL is the same way. One day I work too long for her and the next we just don't do enough. I have learned to be very vague in my discussions with her. The less she knows the better off I am.
I think that's going to be my best approach also. I just feel like I'm constantly trying to justify why we did/didn't do whatever. I know that I don't really need to, but since she's my mom, I feel like I should, KWIM? I'm hoping it will get better with time and once she sees how much the kids really are learning.
You do not have to make your mom understand. Time will reveal everything and she will be understanding or she will not. In the mean time, do not answer the phone while you are doing school work, unless you have to. Sometimes I have to answer while we are busy because I am expecting a call. Thankfully most people call my cell so I know who is calling.
I completely agree with this. Be grateful that she is supportive.. but don't try to justify when, where, how much, how little, etc to her. With both of my parents it pays to tell them as little as possible sometimes. They both think I'm 'secretive' LOL but that's life. I don't need their judgements about how we live our lives. It works for us, so what difference does it make if they approve or not?
I think the best part about HSing is the flexibility it allows. Kids don't just need to learn at certain times of the day. If you are doing school at 4:30 one day, fine! If you skip a day...fine! I agree with PP about just not sharing too much info. I would just tell your mom that you won't answer the phone while you are teaching (whatever time it may be) and you will call her back. You can ask her to text you if it is an emergency or something. If you talk to your mom every day (like I do), maybe you could have a set time to talk to her. Does your mom live in town? Maybe you could invite her over for a day to see what goes on or if she lives out of town, go visit for a few days and do school. Maybe she will get how it works better then. I have done so much research on homeschooling, that it is sometimes hard for me to remember that other people honestly don't know that much about it! Hang in there. Family stuff is never easy!
I tried that "No phone calls between XX and XX due to schooling", and I got emails from friends like "I didn't want to disturb you since I am so NOT important" and something along the lines of 'You are so much BETTER than me, you won't even answer the phone. HaHa' (from a friend). Yeah right. Whatever. I don't even respond anymore. Your mother may never understand your schedule and it's ok that she doesn't. She won't even go there after a while. When she calls either answer the phone and say you can call her back in an hour or so or let the machine get it. She won't know if you're home or out and you really don't have to explain. About the suggestion to invite her over to see what you do....been there, done that. It does not work. Everyones idea of what school 'should' be is different, especially ones that are opposed /not so agreeable to homeschooling. If it does not fit their mold of school at home, then you will be forever reminded about it. If you would like to share what the kids are doing, bring out some art or have them recite something next time you're together. That's what I have done and with my MIL and mom it worked well.
I think I have found a new second home here on the homeschoolspot....this is just what I needed! Thanks for sharing. It's wonderful to know I am not the only one dealing with these things! Rhonda
Both my mom and dad are retired public school teachers. Talk about not getting it. ) Mom had been very negative to my sister for hsing her kids, then cried when I pulled mine out. My Dad wouldn't talk about it. It's taken them 10 years but they have finally come around, because it actually is better for the children and they now see it. My sister doesn't answer her phone at all between 8 and 3. For a long time mom and dad didn't now what we were doing, they now offer advice and help form time to time. We were vague and only told them good things.
