Our 14-year-old son wants to home school next year. He will be a freshman. I'm not sure it is the right -- or best -- thing to do. Except for the two years we home schooled (5th and 6th grades), he has always attended a small Christian school with only 7 - 10 kids per grade. He doesn't have any close friends there. He tends to keep to himself and is very content just being at home. I'm wondering if he will be TOO isolated if we home school him. There is a small home school association in our area, but I don't believe any high school age kids participate. I would welcome any thoughts or suggestions, especially from those of you who have home schooled a child with a similar personality.
I would ask him point-blank why he wants to HS. Does he think it's the best educational option, or does he just WANT to be isolated?
I'm just curious why people don't talk to their children, honestly and deeply more often? I hope I just read everyone wrong, but it seems to me that many people don't take their children seriously enough to consider the child may really be on to something... At 14 your son is old enough to have an idea of what he wants and why. I think your time would be better served learning and contemplating his motives, helping him to examine his motives and making this decision together.
Regardless of what you decide to do, it appears you are concerned about your son's tendency to be anti-social. Follow your gut. If it seems that he is regressing, then I'd dig into the issue and even with his doctor. It is a tough time at that age. He might need some medical help getting over the hump. He might be in a depression or any number of other things which can cause him to want to isolate himself. I agree about the heart-to-heart conversations. One thing that homeschooling allows is for us to be as close to our children as humanly possible. We are here to help guide them through these times into adulthood. Obviously I'm bias toward homeschooling, but I'd hate for there to be other issues going on and thinking falsely that homeschooling is the cure-all. Hope this helps.
It seems that this mom knows her son and that is exactly why she is concerned. I am sorry, but your comment seems harsh.
I would weight the pros and cons with him. If he is shy or likes to be alone-that doesn't have to be a curse. Most people, even if they are shy or like being alone, do like the company of others in healthy doses. Maybe he doesn't feel that he fits in where he is at. There may be other activities that he can be involved in to meet people. Does he have any hobbies or interests that could help him bond with a group. If he likes to draw-see if there is an art class nearby. My son did that for a while. Does he like the outdoors? See if there is a boy scout troop or Royal Rangers (like boy scouts, but based in the church). My son is involved in this and he has met a lot of friends. My son is somewhat shy (not as much as before) and he likes to be alone as well as around small groups of people. He is not a big group kind of person, and come to think of it-neither am I.
My 12 yo. dd is somewhat anti-social. She was more anti-social while attending public school than HSing. I believe that she needs the comfort & closeness of family more hours of the day than going to school left her with. Society tells us to push our kids out of the nest far too quick. It's ok if he isn't ready to face this big, bad world yet. He will when he is ready. Going to school away from home forces them to grow up & deal with things before they are ready. Being with me so much & being an example, teaches my girls how to handle situations that arise that need resolved verses throwing them the wolves that wait at the door ready to devour them in the 'real world'. Protect our children from the terrors of the 'real world' as long as possible. Note: I do realize that there is a healthy & unhealthy way to protect ones children. Trying to stay on the healthy side of things. :lol: I see nothing wrong with HSing per his request. That is how we came to the decision. My oldest dd wanted to sooo bad. As I was checking into it, we realized that the Lord was putting it on our hearts pretty heavy. Best thing we could've done for them.
I don't have a teenager but I do have a dd who is very similiar. She wants friends but really only wants or needs one. She just likes to be home and around mom and dad. She is also content hanging with her brother and his friends. I was concerned about hsing her at first but I think it has given her more security that she has craved. She didn't like being away from home that long. I am finding her more social and willing to take a chance because even in our local hs group mom isn't that far away. I may be comparing apples to oranges here but I think it does relate. Some kids are just content to be with family. My husband is totally content with just our family he could care less if he had a friend to call or come over as long as he has us.
Thanks for all the suggestions. Good ideas to pray about and talk to my husband about. It seems that the vast majority of families i know who hs have kids who are are very out-going and sociable, so my son definitely does not "fit the mold."
There is an old saying "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." If he wants to home school and you believe he will study fine at home, than I wouldn't let the socialization issue bother you. I went to ps, lived in a big family (mostly foster kids) and was at every church/youth event and I didn't have any close friends. I just didn't enjoy doing and acting like what most teens did. It hasn't kept me from having friends now that I am an adult.
