I've been thinking about this alot lately. So many fairy tales and movies end when the loving couple gets together against all odds. Romantic right? However, the more I think about it, true love doesn't end when the two people are together "happily ever after". Because in the real world, yes we have times of happiness, but we also live through difficulties, sadness and hard times. I think the most romantic love is the love that sticks it out even when it is hard. True love is there even when the word "cancer" is mentioned. True love buys gatorade and chicken noodle soup when the stomach flu comes around. True love laughs with you about the drool spots on your pillow. True love changes the diapers of an adult, because sometimes, that just happens. True love holds your hand at funerals and passes you the Kleenex. True love watches the kids so you can say goodbye to someone you love for the last time. True love forgives all the hurts that come around when you live with someone all the time. True love goes the the nursing home every day, just to make sure he/she is ok, eating and taking their medicine. True love watches the same movies over again just because it is somebody else's favorite. My mom and dad were married over thirty years and I watched true love through the last 10. My dad was never a romantic person ( I never remember his buying mom a Valentine's day gift) but I saw his love for my mom in the hard times because he was there for her all the time, even when she needed round the clock care in the past few years. I've been married almost 14 years, and I've found true love too. Movies and books don't dramatize this type of love (it is not quite as exciting as the guy meets girl type) but I believe it is the bedrock of society. People passing true love onto their children, to their spouses, to their parents, even when it hard. What does true love mean to you?
To me, "romance" is the fluttering hearts, flowers and candy stuff. True Love, OTOH, is the stuff you mentioned - adult diapers, forgiving, movies for the 100th time, anticipating needs before they're needed, and doing it without hesitating, that kind of stuff. Giving up stuff you want in favor of what the loved one needs. Sometimes your presence is sufficient, and some would think "well I'm going to go do something I want while I'm not needed here and I'll be back later" but True Love is realizing you really are needed and being willing to stay and "do nothing" but be there.
True love is when the guy you have loved for your whole adult life gets home from work, walks into the room filled with kids and pets and says, "Where is everybody?" because you are not in the room. True love is stopping on the side of the road on the way home from work, getting off the motorcycle and picking wild daisys just because you know your wife loves them. True love is saying, "What's another pound to an elephant?" when she asks if you think maybe the two of you could adopt child number seven. True love is tasting salt when the other one cries. True love so much more than I can ever put into words.
Wow, what great lists. I'm stealing "True love is tasting salt when the other one cries." Love that. True love is seeing what the other person's potential is and sticking around long enough to see it come to fruition.
True love is a feeling that no words in the world can express. True love is knowing you would give up everything for another living person, or that they would give up everything for you.
I just wanted to add that I agree the fairy tale "true love" is ambiguous at best. And that movies don't portray real love at all. Most of the time it's new love or lust and sadly that is leading the next generation into a mindset trap of not really knowing what real love is. I love (since we are using that word so much here ;P) All of the above comments. True Love is acceptance, mutual comfort and support and cleaving onto one another through all of this life, against the worlds hurdles.
True love is changing yourself to meet the wants and needs of the other instead of trying to change them to meet the wants and needs of self.
I am not sure if we ever know, and I hope it is always evolving and improving. As for right now I would say true love is making it your goal to make the other person happy and your happiness comes from seeing that other person happy. That is my condensed version. I really enjoyed everyone's definitions, thank you for sharing.
True love is seeing you at your worst and supporting you regardless of the outcome True love is feeling the same pain as the other and working through it together
It's my responsibility to act with true love toward others regardless of how they act towards me. I'm not always successful at it though! Marty
VERY well said and I'm in total agreement All these posts are awesome (and like Jill, I had tears as I read them)
This is true love and it applies to all relationships: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. —I Corinthians 13:4-8a (NIV) As to the marriage/dating relationship, love isn't the fuzzies, jumping into bed with each other, or being attached at the hip. True love is revealed through the bad or tough times; how we deal with those moments. True love is seeing the relationship all the way through. Sadly this is why divorce is extremely high in this day. Too many people place their "love" and hopes in the fuzzies, like sex and the fun parts of dating. They do things backwards these days. They want to play "couple" and then get to know each other. Once they are married, they realize they do not "like" what they have chosen and want to change the other person. The initial fuzzies are based on infatuation. Sustenance is based on true love. They don't realize that they cheat themselves because sex, making love, is meant to be a display of true love and not just a good time or because they THINK they are in love. Love grows over time. It doesn't start after the first date. I personally do not believe in love at first sight. I know some people do not agree, and that is fine. But I do not believe we can love a person for who they are when we do not know them. However, we can love them AS people. But knowing a persons character and loving them for who they ARE takes time when it comes to marriage. Great thread by the way and great replies!!!!
People often say, "It was love at first sight!" when they find out Dh and I met and married in less than a week. I quickly correct them! No, it was "I want to be married so bad, I found another Christian that I'm attracted to and both of us need to be married." Loving him immediately had nothing to do with who he was. It was a choice I made because he was my husband. I'm so glad after a while that we fell in love with the other person, but it was not an easy road for sure. Loving him through his maturing, and him loving me through mine, has proven to be in our best interest, just as God says. 1 John 4:19 We love, because He first loved us.
My sister went through something similar. She married here husband two weeks after they met. They admit they should have waited. But since should haves and ifs do not exist, they are thankful they had the Lord as center of their lives. Because they allowed the Lord to live in their marriage, they did fall in love and they now have a great, strong marriage. Sadly, most marriages do not have Christ as center and the marriage doesn't come along with the unconditional love that Christ displayed.
True love is kissing each other goodbye everytime you part company. True love is putting the toilet seat lid down so no one goes for a swim in the middle of the night. True love refrains from saying "what did you do all day" when your house is totally trashed. True love is happy with your laundry ability, even when they only have 1 clean pair of underwear. True love lets you sleep until 10 a.m. on a weekend day because they know you need it and deserve it. True love waits, and waits, and waits, knowing that the wait will be worth it! (it takes a lot of time to make this old face look good). True love sees no wrinkles, no flab, no gray hairs. They see the the person they married, and you frozen in time in that moment. True love doesn't mind being seen when they cry at commercials. True love buys you a Frosty on the way home from a night out with the guys because he's been thinking of you all night. True love means you a "real" in the Velveteen Rabbit definition of the word "real." I could go on.
