than I am at taking care of my life! We've had a LOT of financial issues over the last few months, and finally I really, truly, completely gave it all to God. The last few days things have happened that I know would not and could not have happened without His making it so. Just for instance, we're 82 days behind on my husband's truck payment. Instead of offering an extension or payment deferment, the president of the bank called our loan officer and told her to totally re-do our loan and make it so that we won't have a payment for 45 days. We never asked any such thing of the bank, knowing that it wasn't possible... our loan was re-done about a year ago. But she called today and told us and of course we scooted right down to sign the papers. And our wireless phone company tried to process a payment twice last week, and our bank rejected it both times because we have been waiting on a check to come in. Well, this morning I called to try and figure out how I can make the payment and was told that I can pay the balance that was already due and bounced back (2 months behind) plus the charges that became past due yesterday in another week! I tell you, I have been so stressed over the last few weeks, but once I gave it to the Lord to take of, my stress level is down, and things have gotten taken care of with no pushing, pulling or pleading on my part. I know things can and probably will be tough, but it helps to know that He is such a wonderful God.... :love:
Are you my twin?? You're singing a song I can sing along with you. I found out two days ago that my student loan application has been declined (because there is less than 12 weeks to the course - long story why it was delayed)... NOT what I wanted to hear so close to the end and without the funds to pay the remainder of my tuition. We still have an outrageously high power bill we're trying to figure out how we're going to pay... no idea. Sleep is affected by all the stress of everything happening right now... I don't know what to do anymore. So here's my incredibly stupid question: how do you totally relinquish this for God to handle? Give Him absolute control and stop worrying about it (especially when both major things are time limited)?
To be honest, I kind of threw a fit at Him.... I was not the polite, thankful follower I should have been. I just really broke down and let Him know (as if He didn't already) how terribly worn out and stressed out I had become and that I simply had nothing left. That He had to make things work if it was His will. I cried to Him, was a little angry for "letting us be in this position" .... like I said I was just honest with Him. I think I just got to the point that I knew knew knew I have nothing else to give. It really is up to Him. Today. The next time DH's truck breaks down, whether that's tomorrow or in 6months. And the year after that. I am done trying to make things work only for them to get worse. Brenda, I will be praying for you... I know how hard it can be.
Well the weight of the burdens (along with everything else that has taken place) affects my very being... I miss my happy go lucky self... always had something to be happy about. Now I could cry at the drop of a hat (and in the past several days I've done enough of it). The past couple nights I've wondered what my breaking point is? Is it going to be a stress related heart attack? A nervous breakdown? I really can't handle anymore. What am I kidding... I was never meant to handle this... I should have totally given every miniscule detail to God a very long time ago to look after and I wouldn't feel as I do right now! I've often wondered why God is punishing me... wonder if my dh and I have to be on the same 'spiritual' level to see a prayer answered (if that's the case, I might as well throw the towel in now). NOW, the lighter side of this. Last night I was thinking of Job and all the trials he was put through - wondered if God isn't doing something similar to me... testing my faith so to speak (if it's a test of patience... I FAIL). I JUST CAN'T HANDLE ANYMORE !!!
how do you totally relinquish this for God to handle? Visualize yourself at the foot of His Throne, leaving your burdens there. Do NOT pick them up again when you leave. When you find an intrusive thought trying to sneak its way back into your mind/heart, take that burden back to the foot of the throne and leave it there again. And yet again. However many times it takes. Any more intrusive thoughts, say (out loud or not), "Satan's knocking on my door... Jesus, would You get that for me, please? Thanks, Big Brother."
