I'm having an issue with my 14 year old who has been begging to get a job. He's trying to earn money for spending on his mission trip this summer. So I FINALLY caved when some people from our church offered to hire him at their business. They used to homeschool and the owner is a former teacher. GREAT people. Anyhow, he has been working there for almost 2 weeks now and it's been really hard trying to fit in schooling after he has worked. The agreement was that if he could work and it didn't interfere with his school work getting done he could continue. Well, it's not working well right now. Maybe it's just an adjustment period and I need to give it a little more time? On the up side, I was invited to go through their Gigantic stash of homeschool books. I took some home with me and others I have been offered to borrow. Seriously the place is like a small library. They have their business set up with classrooms and computers. It's really neat. My son has also been given a Rosetta Stone Spanish account that he is able to access while at work. BIG PLUS for me since we can't afford it. He LOVES it and that's good but he has math and other subjects to do as well.. Any advice on how to get through this? I really don't want to make him quit his job and he is getting somethings there that I can't give him at home.
Is he able to have any say on the hours he works? If he is working mornings, maybe he could do his school work in the morning and work in the afternoons? It would not work well for my ds14 to work first and then come home to do school. However, if he is not able to choose his hours, I'd give him a little longer to adjust. If you can see that he is not willing to step it up a notch, then maybe this isn't the job for him right now. Another idea I had was to use his job to fulfill some of his school credits. Depending on what he is doing there, he might be learning skills that could translate into a course or two.
According to him he doesn't have a say, but I'm going to talk to his boss because I think otherwise. Today he worked from 9:30 to almost 4. That's a long day for a 14 year old. Hubby says that he needs to work until 1 and then come home and get his school work done. I'll talk to them tomorrow about it. From what he has told me he has done everything from sweeping and mopping to installing printers and software onto their MANY computers.. Don't know what I could classify that as. I don't know if this is everywhere but the public school here has something called DECA that allows highschool students to school half a day and work the rest and get credit for it. So you may be onto something there... Hubby was involved in that and he learned skills that he uses still to this day..
I agree that it is important for them to work. So much so that I would try to work around school. Like can he do multiple days of school in one a couple of days a week. Like all of his history on one day? I would drop any thing extra too, just do the basics. But I really really put a high priority on kids working. I worked 40 hours a week from the time I was 15. ( I worked Friday evening, all day Saturday, and Sunday) I went to school full time, graduated early with honors, in the top of my class. I also did FFA, raised animals, and went out with friends each week. I was tired, but that is more like my life now then anything. It was so good for me looking back. Maybe not all the hours, but working hard, paying for all my own stuff. My mom was a single mom and didn't realize how much I was working. But I brought in almost as much as she did. I learned early that there isn't a gravy train. I would say that you can make school a priority when he isn't working. He should have plenty of time after 4pm to get it done, if he isn't running around town.
Maybe you need to sit down and discuss with him about his studies. You need to explain and remind him that what you have agreed is his work should not interfere with his studies. Maybe he needs to interchange the schedule, having the class in the morning and work in the afternoon. For what I understood he is almost becoming lazy with his study because he comes from work tired. It's kinda hard to focus with your studies when your body and mind is too exhausted from work. I'm afraid he'll be losing interest with his studies as he earns well. Even in teen boarding school, teens are given the chance to work hard but should also focus with the studies.
First of all, you do need to sit down with his boss. If they've homeschooled, they should be understanding of his need to get school done. Second, what grade is he in? Sounds good for work/study credit. How much computer installation is going on? I know in Ohio kids need a Technology credit at least in the "normal" schools. Talk with his employer about a list of skills he's expected to perform, and maybe set up an evaluation/grade to go along with that.
He's 14? Isn't he way too young(child labor laws) to be working that many hours during the school year? He may not have any say in how many hours he is working, but you sure as heck do! I really admire your son for wanting to work. I do. but I have always felt like school should come first. especially at that age.
I talked with my husband some more this morning and he is big on my son working too. He started working when he was almost 15 and did school,and sports as well. He did the work study program through DECA in school and learned the skills he uses to support his family today. We're going to try and work around school for now. This is not a permenant job just something to do to help him get money for camp. I don't want to interfere with his work because I do believe it's a good thing that he's doing. He's so proud of himself to be making his own money. And the reality of how much work it takes to make a decent check has become a realization to him. He worked over a week and got $80.. He was a little bit disappointed but still proud that he earned his first paycheck. He used to working for a few hours and getting $50.. My family spoils him sometimes.. My sister hires both my boys to help do yard work or to pick up dog poo and pays them $20-$25 an hour.. Not something that happens too often in real life. So this is an eyeopener.
I'm all for working, too. I had to do it and I learned early how to budget. Dh did not and uh...did not. Ds14 has been mowing during the summers with Dh and they split the money 50/50. Here in IL, he can't work until he is 16 and then it is very limited. I really wish some hs'ing activists would take this up with the state since hs kids tend to have more time for work and school than their ps counterparts. Edited to say that Dh has, in fact, learned how to budget. :lol:
Here they can work when 14 or even younger if a parent is present at the workplace. My husband has taken both my boys to work with him to earn money and also to take advantage of teachable moments.. He's a mechanic and my boys can work on cars and they aren't old enough to own one yet. I'm proud of my kids and I'm so glad that I chose to homeschool them. They have had oportunities that public school kids have totally missed out on. They have given up other things too but I think that the things they have been able to experience out weigh the ones they have missed by a long shot. This may very well be ds14 last year homeschooling.. So I'm sad. I'm hoping that having this job will show him how much freedom he actually does have homeschooling.. And he will decide that he does want to continue. Today he went to work at 10:30 and worked until about 4pm. With time off for lunch he only worked 4.5 hours. He's WORN out and still has to do school. But his school doesn't take him long. The kids don't usually get around to their school work until around 10 or 11 sometimes later in the afternoon so really, we are doing ok. And the other 3 are able to concentrate a bit more since brother is not here. I guess it's a matter of making up my mind to adjust to his schedule and not make his schedule adjust to us because we don't have a set schedule. I've tried to get them up and going by 8am but it is torture for us all. So I let them sleep in and they start waking up around 9 for the youngers and 10 for the older 2. Works for us.. Anyhow, things are going to work out ok.
I worked when I was 15. Our high school had a "business" track, so I took all business type classes & Accounting 1 & 2 for my maths. My Accounting teacher got me a great job. And for my Sr. year, I was on work study. I had to go to school 4 hours and work 4 hours, and I had to maintain an A in all my classes in order to be able to keep it up. I loved it. My oldest will work as soon as she's allowed to. She wants to coach at her gym as soon as the owner feel she's able too - they usually let you start around 13 with the preschool and lower level classes, so we'll see. She'll be able to work during the day which many girls are not able to do. I have full confidence she'll be able to do it all. My son? Not so much. I hope you get it worked out. I do think working is a valid experience.
I worked in the school cafeteria! I worked one and a half periods during lunch, and also breakfast. Back then, they actually gave you a paycheck; now I'm not even sure they have students work.
When my kids were in ps a couple years ago, they had a class fundraiser that included serving a meal at the school cafeteria. I brought ds (12 at the time) to the kitchen with me to work and was promptly told that no kids were allowed in the kitchen. What??? Whose brainchild was that to suggest a fundraiser where the parents have to do all the work? Some people are gluttons for punishment I guess. :roll:
My ds began working at 14 also, and he was very tired in the beginning even at only 20 hours a week. As time went on he became more accustomed to school and work and requested less hours during times that required more intensive study. Since this is a short term job position I think you've chosen wisely to allow it. Bon chance, or rather since I don't believe in luck....blessings.
well Ok I am going to be the bad tomato again. I am all for working and been working as long as I can remember I had to work when I was young no choice. My father passed away when I was young left my mother with 8 children under 14 years to raise by her self. If I wanted anything I mean anything I worked for it. but, I will say one thing. I work my behind off, did school and you know they say something has to suffer when you put to many eggs in a basket. Well when you are that age that is alot in your basket and what goes first, Yep you guess it School. Well back then school wasn't as important as it is now. Kids need all the education they can get to get anywhere in this world. If it was me. I would wake him up do school first then work. That is how I do my girls. There school always comes first I tell them they will have plenty of time to work. But, school must come first and there grades must stay up if they work and I mean up. I am sorry there just to many kids I see working and getting out of school. They will suffer later in life the world is not getting any easier for those kiddos out there. But, that is my point and I am sticken to it. Sorry if I upset anyone but I been in both basket and I seen what happens.
Kris, You have a valid point.. I don't want work to come before school either. That was my struggle. I think he's realizing that it's no picnic to work and do school AND THEN he has chores to do.. He only worked 2 hours today and came home sick. We've been very busy lately and I think it's all getting to him. Poor thing. Hubby says to let him work it out. He'll decide the right thing to do.. I hope he's right. I want him to have a good work ethic but I also want him to make education his priority. There's a fine line there. Man it's hard being a parent,Where's the parent's manual for raising kids when you need it??????
BTW,Kris, I don't think your a bad tomato. LOL.. I value everyone's opinion. Thanks for sharing yours
I agree that work has to come before school as far as priorities go. But I don't think he needs to get up and do work first as far as time goes. Learning how to schedule our day is just as important. There have been times when my kids want to do something, and I will sit down and ask them when they plan on doing their schoolwork. And whether or not they get to do it will depend on whether they can come up with a good plan on getting their schoolwork done. That may mean working on the weekend, even when a friend wants them to come out and play. Rachael is looking for a job right now (since she got her driver's license on Wednesday!). She was telling me that she's "free" in the mornings, and was hoping to get on working AMs at Bob Evans Restaurant, close to our house. Well, actually she's NOT free...she has school! But as long as she can keep up with her studies, I'm fine with it. Her evenings are filled with soccer practice, AWANAS, youth group. Things I really wouldn't want her to have to give up, either.
I guess I did work a little differently. I gave them some school time to work, kind of like "work study" in school. But I always made sure that their bosses knew that they needed to be held accountable and learning along the way, that it wasn't just sitting and handing out hamburgers. It sounds like you have the perfect opportunity for a homeschooler to learn some very important things that don't come out of books - which is one of the main reasons I homeschooled. They are things not taught in a book or in a classical school situation that can only be learned through a different method. My kids, even the one who is struggling with what life is all about, have great work ethics. Being in management now, I see that most public schooled kids haven't a clue. Work definitely is not a priority in their lives, even at the age of 24 or 25. They live off the state and work just to buy cigarettes and beer. I am not being pessimistic, it is definitely how things are for a great majority where I live. Even the ones who do work harder don't know a thing about saving or earning things they want. IMO, this is PART of what I wanted to teach my children - a BIG, HUGE part. So I used school time to do it. If that meant we had to go all summer to get their college prep courses completed, that's what we did. My kids all had animals. Horses, cows, poultry, dogs, cats. They were responsible for most of the support for their own animals. Feed, vets, everything. In return they got to show them at fair and sell the ones they raised for food (such as a steer for meat). They worked to support their animals, basically. And they received a certain number of school hours a week toward that work (again, it had to be a learning experience). I had one who worked on a dairy farm for six years - she pretty much learned the whole operation! I had one who started his own lawn mowing business and bought a brand new JD mower and trailer in one summer! And I had one who worked like three jobs - she is a work aholic and I tell her so! But they all know what hard work is and aren't afraid of it. I also have two in college and one in tech school. It worked. If it took homeschooling an extra semester or going over summer, it didn't really matter. To me what they learned by those jobs was something I didn't want them to miss. It will be more important to them over the course of their life than a BS degree. IMO
