OK.. so for the most part our church is very casual as far as dress. There are some more traditional older people. Lots of times, my girls wear jeans. (Some kids wear shorts.) This morning two of my dd's had on skirts/dresses and dd7 had on jeans and a t-shirt. A lady came up to me after church, and said she didn't want to hurt my feelings, but she had some nice dresses that had belonged to her granddaughters that she would give us. At first I thought nothing of it, but the more she talked, the more I felt like she thought they weren't dressed appropriately. She said she wanted to help us if we needed it, and she even offered to buy our Wed. night program t-shirts for my kids. (They've already been purchased-no need). My kids are always clean and neat, even if in jeans. The more I thought about it the more I thought she was suggesting the girls should be wearing dresses. So next week, I'm digging out the smocked dresses and bows for church.
I wouldn't. I'd keep letting them wear whatever you want them to wear and not let this woman's comments/ideas affect your family's routine.
I agree with the above post, don't change. If there's one thing I've learned about the Grandmas, it's that they think they have the right to say whatever....whenever, and BONUS...they are ALWAYS right. lol
I wasn't there, but I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I'm one that always has good intentions but my words never come out the way they want. Could it be that she just has some dresses that her granddaughters can't wear anymore that she wants to give to someone? I know I usually prefer to give my hand-me-downs to someone I know who could use them than to give them to Goodwill. Maybe since your daughters were in dresses she knew they would get a good home? Also, maybe God has put it on her heart to help someone out by buying the Wednesday night t-shirts (I know there are times when we could have used some help with AWANA dues/uniforms) and since you had several children, she asked you. I didn't get to hear the conversation, so I could be way off. Just wanted to present a different perspective.
You go to church to worship God. He doesn't care what you're wearing, He cares about your heart... not your clothes. If a homeless person (for example) were to walk into the church, I somehow doubt they have on a shirt, blazer, dress pants, bow tie, etc. but I bet God would be happy just the same. Go as you are... as your daughters are comfortable (if you start insisting that they wear certain clothes to church, it may turn them off and then start more battles than what it's worth). If accepting the clothes seems like an insult, it's ok to say thanks but no thanks.
I wouldn't either-you know what immed popped into my head as I read your post http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SExJ9od-0zQ
Maybe she saw your other girls in dresses and thought that u did have any for the dd7. Sometimes people just open their monthes and insert their feet! I would not let it bother you too much. You are your kids parents not others in the church.
I'm one of those old traditional people who feel you should wear your absolute best (even if your best is dirty jeans and shoes with holes). When sacrifices in the OT were made, God only accepted those that were perfect, without blemish. Today, we have His perfect Son, and we're told to make OURSELVES a living sacrifice (Rom. 12:1-2). However... I don't think this person meant anything by what she said. She probably has some stuff to get rid of, looked around the room to see if any girls fit the size she has, and approached you about it. If not you, it would've been someone else.
I would SO like my girls to "dress nice" for church, but our church is an inner-city mission. They "neighborhood" folk come looking pretty ragged, and it IS their best. If my kids were to dress up, they would be really out of place. We have two people getting married in a few weeks during our "regular" service, and the bride made it clear she'll be wearing jeans. The trouble comes when we visit my parents' church. My girls literally have nothing "nice" to wear, since we never go anywhere that "requires" it! I would take this offer in the spirit it was given. The lady really thought she was being kind. She didn't mean any offense, and I'm one who believes strongly in not taking offense when none is meant. Mom called me all offended one day. Her (older bossy) sister has a cemetary lot in a certain cemetary. Mom couldn't get one in the "old" part, but in the "new". Well, my aunt called and told Mom she could have her lot in the old part, because God told Aunt Doris that she would be raptured and therefor didn't need it. I burst out laughing when I heard; the unintentional implication was "I'M going, YOU'RE going to be left behind!!!"
Wow, Jackie. That's just...wow. About the dresses, I'd politely accept them and then let your kids wear whatever you feel is appropriate for church.
Brooke, what my aunt MEANT (we think) is that SHE was going to be alive when the rapture took place, but Mom would already be with the Lord. And Mom did pass away in January. But Mom was REALLY offended!
Exactly -I could so see my mom doing something like this - and I would love if someone would offer my girls some clothes - and no we don't need it - but I love to recycle clothes through the family :angel:
I agree.... even if she didn't think your girls were dressed appropriately, she didn't SAY it, so I wouldn't assume that is what she meant. I would accept the dresses, if you think the girls would like them, and still let them wear what you all are comfortable with them wearing.
I think Shelby may have hit on the reason why she zeroed in on your family that day--- 2 girls were in dresses while one was wearing very casual clothes. She may have assumed that you couldn't afford dresses for all three. It's just unusual to see people out where 2 kids would be dressy and 1 would be very casual when they're all at the same event. I also think others who said that since she saw your daughters wearing dresses that she could give them to your family and they'd be worn. I personally hate giving stuff away that I don't think will end up being used.
What's funny is that dd7 LOVES to wear dresses. She wears them all the time when we aren't at church. But our church recently added a playground, so every Sunday she says she can't wear a dress to play on the playground. (That's what they do during Sunday School). Although we aren't inner city, we are in an area that ministers to a large, lower income trailer park. The families come in what they have. Being super dressed up is not the norm. We've been to churches where is was, which is why I have sweet little smocked dresses that aren't worn anymore. I'm not mad about it, more amused at the whole conversation, I guess. (And I SO wish someone would have offered a scholarship when 3 of my kids were in Awana. It was so expensive!!)
I wouldnt automatically think this woman's generous offer has something ugly attached to it. Accept her offer and if your kids want to wear the dresses, they can wear them.
I didn't. At first I did think she was just making a generous offer. As the conversation continued (She told me where to get good deals on dresses and some other stuff.) I began to think she was telling be they should be dressed up more. She was NEVER rude. In fact, she's aways been super friendly to us. That's way it's amusing. I wasn't insulted, just wondered if I should be. Things like that do not bother me. I know where my heart is, and that's what matters! But I am pulling out my box of pretty dresses.
I think the words she used were just not the best choice. Perhaps what she meant was "My granddaughters have some old dresses that do not fit them anymore. Could you use them?". Sometimes things just come out wrong. I would not let that sway the way you dress your kids though. Honestly, it might make me want to put them in jeans more often! lol
