Thank you, Sonita, for sharing this I'll tell you, I have been praying about this very issue for quite some time now, and God has now answered my prayer. Thank you again
I asked a woman I used to work with about why most of the ladies around here who are skirts-only look so dumpy. She used to be skirts-only. She said the three major churches in town that teach that doctrine also teach that looking nice at all is vanity. Women are not to be vain. She said that was a major reason she switched churches: her pastor wore very expensive tailored suits, but his wife bragged that she not even look in the mirror before she left for church. She said she also got tired of being told that a woman's shape was unholy. That was another reason why women were to wear over-sized t shirts and the most unflattering skirts they could find. And, of course, no jewelery, hair decorations, or makeup. She said she just felt nappy all the time. And that the double standard for men and women was obnoxious. Now... I realize that I am talking about very specific denominations in a very specific part of the world. I am NOT trying to say that all churches are like those three. It was illuminating to find out the "why" of the frumpiness, though.
I am not skirts only, as the Bible verses that are quoted about modesty just doesn't translate into "skirts" for me. Of course, other women out there who like them and feel that is the direction that God is leading them is fine with me. I have seen the "frumpier" side of it, and I have also seen women who are skirts-only do a very nice modern and tidy job of it. I don't care for skirts, although I will wear one every now and then. I do not feel comfortable in them. One reason I don't wear skirts to the church that I currently attend is that when I was young I got a tattoo, right over my ankle. While my church doesn't expressly look down on that sort of thing, it is something I'm a bit ashamed of, and I don't like it to show around "church people" (Even though I am one of those "church people!") Before we moved here, we went to a "military church" where many members had tattoos, and so I was more comfortable wearing them there, but not here so much, as tattoos are not common.
That makes me sad to think that you would have to hide that from your church. We are not to judge one another on those issues...Christ is our judge. They should be happy that you are there and living a life pleasing to the Lord, not judging your looks. Which leads to the whole skirts issue. I dress, I guess semi- modestly. I like to wear shorts and nice fashionable clothes. I will not be able to do it for ever and its something that I enjoy and helps me with my depression. I keep my heart pure and try not to lead anyone else astray with my dress. I say semi-modestly because some women may feel that I do not dress modestly because my shorts are above the knee or my top might be more form fitted. But I am careful what I show and often layer to prevent from showing cleavage, etc. Unfortunately sometimes people who have a certain conviction beleive everyone should have that same conviction. That is not biblical. I completely 100% support any follower of Christ who is convicted to wear skirts, homeschool, wear a head covering, attend a certain denomination, or not attend church at all, if that is what God is calling them to do at that point in their lives. God puts convictions on us for a certain reason and I think alot has to to with personal growth and struggles that only God knows. And that by following our God given convictions, He is growing us in the individual areas that we struggle in and protecting us from sin. And often the convictions aren't forever. They are for a time of growth and understanding. I didnt drink alcohol for 7 years because of a conviction God put on my heart. I grew through that and now have a drink every now and then with no problem and see no problem with it. Its so important to respect each others convictions, as long as they are not unbiblical and we understand that on some things, the Bible just isn't 100% clear and that is where we rely on the Holy Spirit's interpretation for OUR lives.
I would love to wear skirts more. I use to wear them a lot, but that was pre-babies and I had a figure. Now, just about anything I wear in the way of skirt/dress looks frumpy to me. It just makes me look FAT!!! I've seen heavier ladies looking decent, but I sure can't myself!
It's something I've been thinking for a long time. There's a balance between dressing modestly and dressing in a modest-like way to show just how Godly and feminine you are and as soon as it's about showing off, it's not modest anymore. People forget that modestly doesn't simply means not revealing. It also means not prideful. You can cover yourself from head to toe and still be completely immodest if your intent is wrong.
I am a skirt only mama, and go to a church that teaches that as well,but we are definitely not frumpy! Our church makes a point of teaching we don't go around looking like we just got out of bed! Fix your hair,wear nice clothes and iron them! We represent our church so we want to look nice.I have no problem riding bikes or doing lots of activities in a skirt. I've gotten alot of comments on how nice I look and my hair is always up in a nice up do. I get treated with so much respect when I am out in public and I like that.my 6yr old only wears skirts or dresses as well and hasn't had a problem being a kid. I agree there are ppl out there that only dress the part but inside they are not even close to having a pure heart. There will always be ppl like that though.
Grace, I couldn't have said it any better myself. I am s "skirt only mama" and diefinitely not frumpy! Anyway, I agree with your post and thank you for it!
Here is photographic proof that you can do ANYTHING in a skirt.... I qualified at the range for my carry concealed permit... and I did it in a skirt with no problems.
My DH would love for me to be a skirts only person. Not because of what God or anyone else thinks, but because he really likes how I look in skirts or dresses. He does request that I dress modestly, which can be hard, because I'm very large chested and no matter what I do, I cannot seem to find clothes that fit in the chest and aren't so big everywhere else. He would also like my hair to be long...I'm giving in on the hair to a point, but he knows that it will never be past the middle of my back because it gets so thin that it looks bad. I love jeans, but I understand his point. If I decided to go skirts only, it's my decision, and it'd be based on what he likes, because I think God cares more about the heart of the person, not so much what they wear. However, I think in the end, it's between that person and God, because I think God convicts different people of different things!
I do wonder though, where do people who are "bigger" up top find modest tops?????? I have looked and looked and they are ALWAYS so low and I really really don't like that. I wear tanks under some of them, but is there anywhere that isn't "plus" size? Because plus sizes don't fit in the shoulders or tummy...
A friend of mine, who is large-chested but small-waisted, pins a top-hemmed piece of nice fabric to her bra straps. That way it looks like she has on layered tops, and all of her cleavage is covered. She can't find regular undershirts that do the trick and it would be costly to buy two shirts for every one outfit. Plus it gets hot in the Summer.
I end up sewing most of my own tops because I can't buy a top without modifying it, with the exception of over size tee/tank top or sweatshirts. I am very short-waist-ed, so skirts are out for the most part. And a store bought dress usually doesn't cut the mustered either. So for me, anything from a store other than jeans/capris is out. If I don't sew it I don't wear it. Marty
