I have posted before (a while ago) about the fact that my son has OCD. I have recently started wondering if this is affecting his learning in a different way. He has had problems with unwanted thoughts and compulsions before (and maybe now, he doesn't tell me all of it) that have distracted him. Now, I am getting the impression that he has "wanted" thoughts that take up a lot of his time and he hasn't learned how to put those aside and concentrate on things he doesn't like (anything book learning wise). This may just be a common characteristic of all young men (women too?), but it seems that it is a real problem for my son. He says he can't concentrate, which I know is not true all the time. When I get him to focus on something-he gets it pretty easy (or at least like an average student, IMO). I am trying to work with him and I have even told him that I know some of the stuff he is learning is not what he wants to learn about. I have even pretty much explained some of my thinking towards education-that a lot of stuff that is supposedly "necessary" just shouldn't be forced. I told him today that I am trying to help him have the tools that he needs to learn anything he needs to in order to do what he wants. He used to say he wasn't going to college-instead straight into the military. Now, he is saying that he may want to go for 2 or 4 years. I wholeheartedly believe that my son is capable of learning anything that an average person can learn or beyond, but he doesn't think that he is capable. That is a big obstacle. I know in my heart that if he knew how to approach ANY learning-and he saw success-he would KNOW that he CAN do it. I also do think there is a resistance to do the work (or do it right) because of his "uncomfortable" feelings towards any book learning. It manifests itself in laziness. He is not a lazy person and is willing to help anyone out and he does his chores with very little prompting (most of the time). But sometimes the answers he gives on his papers are just blind guesses (IMO). For example, in science today-we went over 5 questions and he got all of them wrong. I looked for just a few minutes and found that they were all there in the reading and some of them were just as obvious as the nose on my face. He does have to re-do them, but that again makes him feel defeated. Any input? Thank you all for "listening".
I would be interested in any responses as dd1 seems to suffer anxiety issues and similar problems with her learning
This might be a long shot, but is your son active. I mean does he get in enough exercise to release some of the hormones that might trigger him to not be able to focus or have a defeated feeling? I have struggled, and still struggle, with focusing. As a child, I couldn't figure out why and while I never had an official diagnosis, I know it has something to do with hormones because when I exercise hard and long, it is so much easier to stay focused on something. Even as an adult, I can sit and be reading and then a few minutes later, I am completely in La La Land or completely taking on another task. It is more than simple dwelling which can become a habit in and of itself. It is almost uncontrolable so I have to force myself to focus and hard exercise makes this so much easier. I also remember as a child sometimes feeling defeated because I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me that I just couldn't do it or get it and once a person feels defeated, it is easy to give up and not care. I do not know your son but if he is fine in other areas, this might be possible.
He is outdoors a lot and he is active, although not necessarily hard exercise. I have even thought of that myself. I also think that he needs breaks now and then. Today, all we are doing is reading out of a couple of interesting books and watching a documentary. There is no written work on today's schedule and that is rare around here. I think I am going to let him start the day with some activity and I will probably push him into an exercise routine of some sort so that he can focus better. I know I do better if I have exercised-physically and mentally. I used to fall asleep or feel sleepy a lot in school. I may start the formal exercise routine gradually so that he can get used to it. I have been rethinking my whole outlook on education/learning over the last couple of years and I have seriously thought, "Why do so many people want to keep kids so INactive all day long?" or "Why is it a bad thing for a child (or teen) to want to move around more?" I have never worked in a job where I sat down and I am glad. I don't do well with sitting for long periods of time and the hours would just drag on if I had that type of job. I am not saying I am never lazy, because at home I can be, but I feel much better when I am active.
