Hello ladies (& gentlemen), hoping everyone is doing well, as I've been absent for quite some time. We recently moved and I chose not to install internet until we are COMPLETELY settled. It's killing me, BUT, I know my motivation sinks when I can escape into another world :lol:Anyway, I come to you today seeking opinions on playdates.... DS just turned 7 last week. Up until now, he has never had a playdate at someone else's home without us, unless it's family. I'm still finding myself uncomfortable with it. Especially since we just moved...he has a new set of friends (all public school), and I've been able to come up with reasons thus far but I'm quickly running out of ideas. DS NEVER asks to go to other homes, he likes having his friends here & we have everything the kids want to do. My friends (all public school moms) of course think it's time to "get over it & let him go", but I'm sorry, I just don't feel comfortable yet. I don't KNOW these people, I don't know what goes on in their homes, I don't know if some convict cousin is gonna show up while my son is there, and I worry they won't watch them as they should. Am I crazy here or what? He's our child, and DH agrees that he's not comfortable with it either. Opinions please? Clarifying two things: It's other parents inviting DS over...ds doesn't ask to go. And they invite to take him places and again, we've never let him go except with family. I added that they are public school, not because that's bad, but because I feel as homeschoolers we tend to think a little bit differently as far as what we allow and how we want our children raised, etc, etc.
I"m with you, I dont like my girls going to there friends homes. I know that the mother will keep an eye on them but the husband drinks and smokes and that is not what I want my girls around. I have no problem with them coming over here but as for spending the night or going over there to play.... NO thank you... I will keep my girls here with me.
Thank you for the reassurance. I know not everyone agrees, but if at least one person understands...I feel better. Our door is almost ALWAYS open for a playdate...
Welcome back!! Missed you!! :love: My advice, for what it's worth, don't let go until you're ready. You'll know when the time is right and who the right person/people are to let your ds go with. You'll also know when ds is ready. If he's not asking then he may not be ready or interested. Marty
It's not just you. When my kids get invited, if we accept the invitation...I just show up with them. Sometimes I get the impression that's unexpected, but no one has told me I cannot stay (don't think my kids would stay if I weren't welcome...) We have also had times when our children were invited to join another family for a family event. Things didn't work out, which was fine. I thought it was odd they would offer to include our children and not invite their parents. It was not a cost issue, the event was free. So I thought it was odd, but it's possible I am the odd one.
I only allow my kids to spend time w/out me at homes where I know the people VERY well. There are only a handful of places that I would allow my SEVEN year old to go w/out me. I have to be very familiar with the parents, their philosphy of child raising, the kinds of things they allow their kids to do etc.
OK! I'll make it unanimous!!! When you know the family well and are comfortable with them, then you'll let him go. Until then, make NO APOLOGIES. It's YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to protect your child. If other moms think you're weird for it, then so be it. They do what they think is best for their kid, you do what you think is best for yours.
I have to agree with all of you too. My son has food allergies which heightens my fear of leaving him alone, especially with those who are unfamiliar with food allergies. We don't even allow our son to stay with some family members without us because they have shown they don't take his food allergies seriously. And honestly, even if he didn't have food allergies, I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable leaving him alone either...it really depends on how well I know the friend's family.
Hey great to know I am not the only 'overprotective' parent who 'shelters' their child/ren. I like OP have everything the kids need here. And I do have issues with my kids playing elsewhere because they aren't supervised at all. Or because I know my kids may be in a mood to act up, something I would rather handle then leave in someone elses lap. I also know some people I would feel comfortable leaving my kids with. But that is a small circle of lifelong friends. I hate to be the voice of scary but too many pedophiles lurk with kids. My father was abused as a kid repeatedly and most of the perpetrators were people known to him and his parents. Sad to say if sheltering them is a crime I guess I am guilty. But I only get one shot at raising my kids healthy and well. So if that means I tag along on playdates oh well!
I made the mistake once of leaving my dd(age 6 at the time) at a birthday party for 25 kindergartners. When I returned to pick her up, I saw the margarita machine on the counter and saw 16 to 18 yr olds with glasses in their hands. It was apparently also a family party, so I knew only ONE adult in that house. The rest were complete strangers to me. Stand your ground, don't let anyone tell you that you are too over-protective. That's your job!
