Hi, My highschooler has AD/HD and Bi-polar. She was schooled through the eighth grade and into the ninth. She spent two years in the ninth and was retained a second time. Over the summer she turned 16 and informed me that she was quitting school. I have tried homeschooling over the last few months. She refuses to do any school work (of any kind) and won't even get out of the bed until after three in the afternoon most days. She refuses to go to the adult education center and study for the GED, which she can take in February. We live with my mother and Mom feels that it is a losing battle and gives into Jennifer all the time because "its better to give it to them than to hear the scream." As of right now, I have no other options for where to live. Any ideas you have will be greatly appreciated. Lisa
Oh, Lisa your words break my heart. You know, no one is in a mad rush to graduate high school. She doesn't "have" to be 18 and signing up for college by September of her 18th yr. She can be 19, 20 or 21 and graduate high school. What I'm saying is, give her time....to decompress, to get out of the depression she is in, maybe you can even find out why she is so depressed, shutting down inside. That is more important right now than her advancing in her grades/studies. When a homeschool kid is sick, the homeschooler and his/her mom takes time off to heal. School can be caught up later. Subjects can even be skipped (most are redundant anyway). The best thing to do is start with the homeschool laws for your state, see if there are certain subjects that are required, testing, any correspondence with the superintendent of schools Take that time to focus on the red tape of homeschool, and let her have time to just be herself. She needs to find out who she is again, what makes her happy, what she loves in life. Then when she see's that sparkle in herself, she can lift her head and listen, and do things again. Depression is like being dead. I am a manic depressive, and if it wasn't for God and my medications every day, I would have died a long time ago from it. Love, Carolyn
Hi, Lisa. ( Hi to you too, Carolyn!) Lisa, I have a son just like your girl. I also lived in that situation with my mom. Do all you can to get your own place! It's not helping that your mom gives in all the time, although I can understand her point. However, that doesn't help you, as the girl's mom. My son was-supposedly- ADHD. He's been off his Adderall since June and shows absolutely no signs of it. My son is moody, mouthy, immature. Right now he's recovering from corrective surgery for mild c.p., and that kind of makes it worse, because there's nothing to occupy his mind during this recovery period. He also was diagnosed with depression, me too, but we haqve both given up our medication. Situations didn't change, so there was no point to the medicine. Speaking from experience, maybe your home life is too much for her. I know living separately from my mom helped. Getting tough did the rest. Once you get her treated for depression, and that's what it sounds like, she has to do something about a diploma. In our area there is a program that uses lifeskills to earn a diploma. I went through that program. Some of the questions are like, how do you clean out a fridge? what do you do with the food?They want you to say you have to keep the food cold to prevent spoilage, KWIM? If the GED is too much, maybe a program like that one is better, and you can take 2 years to complete it. I hope it all works out for you, because I know how stressful and draining this can be. My son is 18, so now on top of everything else he is considered legal age.
