My daughter is 10. She will be going into 5th grade. She's been in public school her entire school-life. She is unable to multiply past her 6's, has sloppy handwriting, she needs lots of help with grammar/spelling, among other things. I am debating on homeschooling her, because I feel that if I don't, she'll have a world of trouble ahead of her in the next few years. She's been ignored and left behind and I know something needs to be done. But my problem is that we don't have the best relationship. She's very headstrong, argumentative, etc. Our relationship isn't terrible, but to put it bluntly, she's very self-centered, oppositional/defiant, and a little lazy. She loves to argue and always, ALWAYS has to be right. I did not raise her to be this way and no matter what I do to try and gently changer her ways/show her how to do things, she resists. So.... is homeschooling really the ideal choice? Or should I just try to do extra work with her throughout the summer to try and build her skills? PLEASE HELP!
Yeah ummm are you sure that your DD and my oldest aren't siblings? My oldest and I do not get along very well, but I know that homeschooling is the best thing for him.. so we struggle through. Now he is an easy learner, but he is ummm, a reluctant learner.. as in he just doesn't want to do his work, and it's worse if I am the one laying it out I have learned. So this coming year he is doing mostly programs that are written to the student. I really hope that takes some of the strain off of the two of us and I can focus more on my younger kids. Do I think homeschooling is best.. I think it's best in general, in your case you are the only one who can make the final decision. I do know that she will continue to fall further and further behind if left in the current situation, and I think she would start to really rebel if she isn't a happy student to begin with and you are piling things on top of her when she is home.
Welcome. Although I cannot tell you what's best for your family. I can tell you that when we started homeschooling in 4th grade it was a very tough year to "de-school" our ds and figure out learning styles and change our way of thinking. I did a 2 week trail period 2 weeks before ps school started. Mainly to see if I could handle it. Then we decided to see if we could do this till the Chistmas Break. I had to take some serious baby steps into this, lol. We used T4L so it didn't cost me much and I wasn't committed. Granted, 2 weeks isn't nearly enough time to decide if it'll work out in the long run but we could always re-enroll in ps if we felt it didn't work.
Well Said Sommer. I have to agree with her. Ditto... yes homeschool is the best for her but then you came to wrong board if you wanted us to no. We all love homeschool. First I will say welcome... then I will say homeschooling is a job. Some days you love it and other days you say wow what did I get in too. But, in the end its all worth it. Some times the pay checks are slow. LOL I would start now with her and work with her. Lay out the rules. Will they work? Some days they will others they wouldn't. Just be willing to be flexible thats the joys of homeschooling.
I have to say I took a learning disabled child out of public school in the 5th grade last year. He has ODD. One thing I did that made the transition easier for the both of us was to get a lot of workbook type program. Which followed the way that public school teaches. So, it was familiar to them. I work outside the home so I had to set up a lot of different ways for the kids to get the work done. I tried to be a little more relaxed it will get done. You will make mistakes. My kids love when I tell them something wrong and they can correct me. Very exciting and they remember it so much more. tee hee hee One thing I just started doing is for every 4 pages he reads he gets a quater for the video games when we go camping. That has taken the stress of trying to get him reading. He always begs for quaters when we camp, now he has control of how many he has. But, back to the original question it is hard. You know your child best but my child did go from a 3rd grade reading level to a a 5 grade 8 month after just one year. In math he went from 4 grade level and he just tested in our state exam at 9th grade level. I have to say I don't see where we even accomplished much besides being settled at home but maybe just maybe that is all he needed was the security. He is much calmer and doesn't fight me as much. Now, don't get me wrong he still does and trys to wiggle out of things. But, I know him all to well......
Totally agree with Kris....set the rules which you are NOT willing to bend, then allow a "family" decision on the rest. Ease in gently to begin with, and include her. You need to find her "hook" of motivation/enjoyment and gear learning to her that way and perhaps she will not notice quite so much...:twisted: I have a reluctant....and some days it is a battle - we don't have to report in the UK like you do in the US - but we are known to our LEA and have to provide "evidence" of the children's work....but, we do lots of photos and I will not allow the authorities to question my child so, there is not so much pressure on them to conform to a model that only the "tester" has (which more often is only a rigid school model as that is all they know)...but has pressure to perform been an issue for your daughter? Pressure from acedemics, pressure from peers, self pressure is not to be under estimated. If you can take a period off - can you sit and watch, talk and listen. Don't probe let her unfold...perhaps off to Starbucks for a coffee, cake and girlie chat? A home girlies spa night - get a face mask, some bubbles, candles, sit and paint nails, chat and hang out. I imagin (so long since I was 10 lol) but I think its a really hard time - esp. for girls. They are going through all that hormonal stuff, other kids are horrible and if you have a sensative soul, even simple things hurt.... All just perhaps's and suggestions you may like to think about / try. Might help - could be completely up the wrong tree. But, sad, girls and chocolate/spa's etc. usually a winning combo to bring round the most reluctant of smiles....:love: Thinking of you - hope I helped? ss
Wow. Thank you everyone for the replies. You have all given me hope and even more motivation to get something done! I cannot just sit back and let my first born baby girl fall through the cracks of the public education system. I need to take charge. I need to help her succeed! Homeschooling has to be the answer. Or at least an option that I need to pursue and see just where it takes us. SS- your reply especially hit home. I know that some of our arguments and tension comes from me- busy with a 9 month old, jumping to a conclusion too quickly or judging a situation too harshly. I need to work on those things. Granted, she has issues as well- but I know she feels my irritation and feeds off of it. We need a girls day out! Coffee, Mani/Pedi.. she would just love that! Being 10 must be hard. I don't remember it so well myself either, but I did start menstruating that year and that's when life really changed for me. It could happen any day for her as well! She's becoming a woman so quickly... Sorry if that's TMI for anyone! :X Any other advice is so sincerely appreciated from anybody who wants to chime in. We are looking into the k12 virtual academy through the school district- should I start a new thread to ask questions about that? It's intriguing but I want to hear from people who have tired it! Thanks again to all who have replied so far.
Hi - New here and to homeschooling also but I have a reluctant learner also(starting 6th grade). I too have been hesitant to take him out of PS. We started slow this summer and have been working on keyboarding/business lessons for the past couple of weeks. I have let him make some choices in his learning. Yesterday, he had some friends come over while he was finishing his keyboarding practice. I overheard him tell them he had a few more minutes of his schooling and they could play with his brother till he gets done. I NEVER thought that would happen. So if your dd is on board she may just suprise you especially if you include her in the decisions. I also plan on making schooling a routine first thing in the am. I have just found that with him, starting is the hardest part. If he knows it is done every am before anything else he'll get started and get it done otherwise it will be a constant battle getting started. Also on a side note - I don't know if it is the same with girls but ds matured alot during the past year. Hope I helped a little. Debbie
If you search here there are lots of threads were K12 has been brought up. One of the regulars here (Ava Rose) did virtual with her kids this past year, I'm I believe she just posted about how the year turned out not too long ago. When I was starting out, I read the laws for my state.. I'm in PA which is one of the strict states for homeschooling in. I was terrified of the laws and was really thinking about K12. I then decided that it wasn't my answer either, I needed and wanted to be able to set up our own plan of attack. I didn't know about very many homeschool curriculum providers, and those I knew of were Christain based and wouldn't work for me, so I found the worldbook typical course of study and based our year on that. I used real books and a few cheap Sam's Club workbooks and we had a blast. I must say that over the years I found curriculum.. and felt pressured by what others on various messageboards (mostly another one) were doing and felt we had to keep up with them (totally against why I chose to homeschool in the first place), and we have slowly lost the love of school here. This year I have found mostly independant things for my oldest (Teaching Textbooks for math, Oak Meadow for science, Writing Strands for writing, HIstory Odyssey etc), and my younger kids are now doing school the way I started with my oldest. We use a new guide for what we should learn (The Core Knowledge Sequence (The What Your x Grader Should Know books are based on this), but it's basically the same principle as we started out with.. it's much more enjoyable when school doesn't look or feel like school. Have you researched homeschooling styles at all? Most people fall into ecclectic, which is a mish mash of styles and resources... but it's a great fit for anyone..lol.
I would also spend the first year hs'ing focused on your relationship with her, rather than academics. The relationship is the most important right now.
I would also agree that the relationship is most important and discipline. I don't know if you have ever watched "Supernanny", but she has some great ideas on how to get children used to the idea that there is right and wrong and there are consequences. One of the things she harps on is CONSISTENCY, you have to follow through EVERY time with the consequence. For example, if your daughter is being rude, you give her one warning. After that it is time out (10 min.). If she gets out, you take her right back and re-set the timer. You do that until she stays for the 10 min. On the show, the parents have had to struggle for a LONG time sometimes, but in the end it is worth it. She also teaches that you don't need to yell. In fact, if you yell you are providing an emotional response and the kids feed off of it. I would make sure your daughter knows the rules. Then I would discipline (without yelling) every time she broke a rule. I would also make sure you spend some time with her just having fun. THEN you can work on school stuff. If you don't have the behavior corrected-school will be a nightmare.
