First I want to apologize for my absence. Second, I want to apologize for making my very first post a rant. I promise I wouldn't put it here if I didn't desperately need some support. You are under no obligation to read it I was going to spell it out here but.. I'm going to try to behave myself as much as possible, so I'm just going to pare it down to what really irritates me about the conversation I'm referencing.. with a family member... during our summer vacation. *I am sick... no not sick.. tired of hearing the 'socialization' question raised. I've been at this less than a year, and I'm bored with it already. Ps is NOT the be all and end all of good socialization. *I am tired of people, who have never so much as read a website or cracked open a book on the subject, thinking that 1.) they can run my homeschool better than me, and 2.) that I am incapable of doing it myself unless I have an 'expert' to hold my hand. *I am tired of people blaming me, or my children, for the problems that my children experienced in school. That's a crock. And even if it wasn't, we had every right to decide it wasn't working. *I don't care who you are: if you haven't been in a school, let alone had a conversation with a teacher, read a scholarly paper, or attempted to locate ANY information in the last 20 years, you do NOT know more about current pedagogies than I do. Sorry. And pretending to have a teaching certificate you've never mentioned before doesn't help you. *Don't ask me about the 'legalities of homeschooling' if your intention is to look for ways in which I am failing to follow the law. That's garbage, I AM following the law. Moreover, *I* know the law and you don't. So shut up. *I actually DON'T need government oversight to drive me to educate my children. The government feels like they need to do it, fine. But don't imagine for a single second that THEY are the reason the kids and I worked our butts off. They aren't. *STOP using 'socialization' as an excuse for poor EDUCATION. Even if my kids came out of ps with the social skills of a prince, they'd still be dumb as a box of rocks. Ps may be trying to turn my kids into friendly office workers, but I'm shooting for rocket scientists. *I really don't care if you hate every single thing I'm doing. We don't abuse our children or each other. We don't use drugs or alcohol. No one ever disappears for days on end. We keep our house clean and our kids fed. Teeth get brushed, hugs are given, and everyone wears clean clothes every day. I even occasionally bathe them! You can stop doing random 'housechecks' now. Seriously. *It's SUMMER VACATION FOR GOODNESS SAKES! GIVE IT A DARN REST!!!
(((hugs))) Never apologize for venting here! That's part of what we're here for: support!!! I don't have any words of wisdom for you, other than to not be afraid to tell people to butt out!
Thank you, and ((((hugs)))) right back. Gawd, this particular person is going to drive me over the edge. I've told him to butt out. I've reminded him that I'm on the downward slide to middle age. He persists in believing whatever stories he tells himself about me. I used to tell him it was none of his business.. but I got sick of his questions there. So I tried a new (and obviously ineffective) strategy of fighting his pretend logic with facts. Didn't work. How can you discuss anything in an adult manner with someone who spontaneously proclaims they have a degree in something you know they don't? I swear sometimes he needs to be medicated.
Obviously with his lies and irrational behavior, it is NOT possible to have a conversation with him in an adult/rational manner. Don't try. I would ignore him and walk away. I would have no contact with him as much as is feasible. And when I would have to be around him, and he spoke to me, I would simply stand up and walk away.
No need to appologize, we are here for you. Sorry to hear that your summer is not going as well you you would like. I agree with Amie, that there is no point even trying. Simply explain that you choose to no longer discuss it and walk away or change the subject. If you repeat this every time the discussion comes up, hopefully it will decrease in frequency.
I am so sorry. I have been dealing with the socialization issue as well since we are just starting out. I had an eye-opener last week. My son went to karate camp. He LOVES karate so I was excited to send him. However, he was socialized....and not in a good way. The kids there had bad attitudes and DS5 came home telling everyone and everything that they were stupid. All the sudden he doesn't like pink and purple because those are stupid girl colors. While he was there, the kids watched Transformers. It is PG13 and violent and he is 5! He has had nightmares. Talking to other homeschool moms, they were horrified. Talking to public school moms, they just said, "Well, he is going to see that stuff sometime anyway so it isn't a big deal." That right there is the difference. Non HSing families just make excuses saying that the kids will learn about it anyway so oh well. He will not be going to karate camp next year and I am completely over the socialization thing. I don't judge anyone's educational decisions. They can do what is best for their family. I am doing what is best for my family. I listen politely to their ridiculous spouting off of the mouth and then change the subject. I was at a homeschool group nature study and nature hike a few weeks ago and I actually said, "I wish that my friends and family could come here right now and see all of these normal kids." Well, actually they weren't normal. They were polite, dressed appropriately, had normal hair color and were genuinely good kids (not that kids with purple hair are necessarily bad kids). If there is a particular friend or family member that just can't accept this, maybe you should just limit time with that person or have a conversation with them letting them know that you realize their objections, but that you aren't changing your mind so that you need to just not discuss this topic with them about it anymore. Honestly, most of the people in my life who have the strongest objections to homeschooling are the people who deep down know it might be best for them and don't think they can do it. Hang in there. Here's an e-hug for you!
I don't justify myself to anyone, and I don't answer questions either that are directed in a snarky manner or are intended to "trap" me or my children. When questioned I simply tell someone "They are my children and I am doing what I believe is best for them and what I believe God wants for me to do with them, if you have a problem please feel free to contact my direct supervisor, his name is Jesus" This generally takes care of any issues that come up, and if it doesn't I simply walk away. Honestly, I don't have time to argue with people anymore.
Wow. What a jerk. Sounds like he's found a "cause". Maybe you can turn him on to some other atrocity he can form a one-man crusade to combat. Very true. I don't necessarily think they are actually ok with it. Many of them know that their only alternative would be to homeschool. It is easier for them, or less painful to think about, to convince themselves that there is no point and somehow their kids are better off learning the hard lessons early. In many ways I feel for the parents who know better but are just scared to exit the institutionalized school setting or are trapped by their circumstances. Pity usually helps me get past my initial anger more quickly.
ROTFL!! I am totally in hysterics!! THANK YOU GUYS!!! HUGE ((((hugs)))) for all of you! And I admit my own fault. I tried to be reasonable. I tried to set his fears to rest (again), and educate him on the entire subject of homeschooling. I had thought, until that conversation, that there was loving concern, no matter how annoying the entire thing became. So I was trying to be.. loving and knowledgeable. Wrong approach clearly. What's that saying? Ah. You can't have a battle of wits with an unarmed man. I have these mental images of him wearing beandip. LOVE IT!!! As for the new crusade, his step-daughter is a recovering drug addict, still goes to the bars and drinks, and thinks dressing her kids in cute clothes makes her a good parent. I'll start steering him more in that direction No.. I won't visit him on someone else. I'm just over dealing with it myself. Thank you guys all again. I cannot CANNOT tell you how much I appreciate your support. We are the only homeschooling family I can find in my area, and it feels a bit like swimming upstream sometimes (I don't want someone to emulate, just a fellow combatant, iykwim).
