Just wondering if anyone has one child in ps and another one HSing? I'm still pretty new to this. I HSd my 1st grader last year and let my dd continue with ps 4th. I also have a very busy toddler. The year went just OK. Toddler distracted us a lot and being a boy he didn't want to read or write. I felt frustrated. That's one big reason for letting my dd stay in ps...to see how it was going to go...if I /we could do it. You know all eyes are watching that first year!! Dd had a wonderful teacher and made all A's. I don't think we even finished our math curic. I feel I let him down. Then last night on dr Phil..PS vs HS, he was saying statistics show how by middle school that kids need that peer involvement, positive and negative. So now I'm feeling like I'm going to mess him up if I don't send him to school and if I pull my dd out next year..she has a great group of friends and has had wonderful teachers so far. Then later my husband asks about scholarships to college..can HS kids get them? I wanted to cry! Any wise words would be appreciated. :?
I'm far from the resident expert here, but I'll share my thoughts. First, I have no idea what dr phil was referring to. Was he saying that specifically about hs kids? The reason I'm asking is because... even though my kids are hs, and I consider myself an introvert, my kids get to play with other children several times a week. They have longer periods to play (no recess bell to contend with) as well. And they get to enjoy all the creative age appropriate play of their peers. What they aren't exposed to: inappropriate sexual acts/discussions and bullying. I'm not sure what they are missing out on here? And I think most hs (although this is a blatant generalization) agree that it is important for kids to get around people of ALL ages, so hs children certainly aren't kept in a bubble. As for 1 in and 1 out, I'll tell a bit of my own story. We pulled dd first, and although ds did ok in ps he was very bitter. He was an A student as well, though, so the push to hs him wasn't there like for our dd. AFTER we pulled him, I discovered just how much those A's were worth. Always a very 'mathy' kid, my A 3rd grader couldn't do any subtraction beyond very basic. He had no grammar skills at all. His ss was pathetic, and science apparently stopped in 1st grade. His reading has been it's own headache. Not saying your ps is the same- just wanted to share that sometimes it can all look great until we scratch the surface. Adding: my kids are also exposed to the normal drama of being kids from their peers. AND- so what if you didn't finish a book? Unless you completely blew it off (and even if you did..he was only in 1st), he had a lot more time to grasp concepts. That means you are letting your child show you what he needs- ps can't do that. So some ps kids end up like my poor dd was when I pulled her: unable to add or subtract, and doing a ton of random guessing hoping she hits it right. No one took the time to explain it to her. My ds did a second grade math book this past year (he was in third). We didn't finish what I wanted to, but NOW he can do any subtraction, so as we move on, he's ahead of the game. This time next year, it won't matter that they both started behind. kwim?
I have never done 1 in and 1 out with homeschool, but I have had children in public and private schools. That was enough for me to realize how hard it would be to juggle carpool with ps, extra curricular activities, and try to do home school with another child. I knew we would get nowhere if I was hustling kids to and fro and had a deadline time to finish to be in carpool to pick up dd's from ps. Boys are different than girls. Does he have a late b-day? Did he turn 5 before kindergarten started or after? Was he a 6 yr old 1st grader or 7 yr old first grader? Honestly, with my ds that first year we did not finish all of our curriculum. We maybe finished half of the texts. We just kept plugging away the next year. He was all over the board with reading, writing, and math. What I mean is that he didn't necessarily start 1st grade with all 1st grade material. He was not ready for it. He just finished 2nd grade with a lot of mixed material as well. However, mid-year he just clicked with reading. He now reads chapter books and above grade level. In 1st and part of 2nd he was below by a whole grade level. His writing is getting better. With boys, sometimes the gift of time is the best gift you can give them. As for the socialization aspect, that is a bunch of baloney in my opinion. My children have better friendships and I have more time to engage them in extra curricular activities. School does not equal the kind of socialization that I want my middle school child to learn. Heck, when I pulled her after 3rd grade...I had to clear up some of the misconceptions she had gotten from more "mature" friends. Truthfully, how many of us made lifelong friends in school? I know I didn't and I know it was all about being popular and fitting in whether I truly believed in what I was doing or how I was acting. My children are definitely more conscious of a true friend and when someone is using you. I don't think they would be that way if they had continued public school. Join girl scouts, cub scouts, 4-H (there are homeschool groups), a co-op if you need the class room environment...play sports with parks and recreation...There is a lot out there and it is very easy to lose sight about what school is really like unless you have visited it recently. My mother-in-law works in the school system and she can tell some crazy stories. You will have to do what is best for your family. I am not sure what state you are in, but most hs students re-entering the public school system will have to be tested and placed wherever they test academically. If you really did have an off year, then you might want to work over the summer if you feel ps is the right choice for your family.
I guess it depends why you are hsing. I pulled my children out of ps in 4th and 5th grade. They really weren't thriving. Do they miss the little chit chat that goes on in the hallways. YES.... But, that is it. I think for hs kids it is the only thing that they miss out on. But, that isn't enough for me to put them back in. I know that school say that the bus is a very important thing for the kids as well. Part of the socialization. Let me just say its horrible. I drive school buses for a living. Kids are picked on, made fun of, ick.... I am so glad my kids are not there. That just continues from the day they had. God for bid if your child is label for some reason or another. I think a lot of people just make a blanket comment about the normal things for our society. As much as I like Dr. Phil what what his comment about kids needing it good or bad related to. research??? When we do something outside the "normal" of society they just make a blanket comment like that. I know my kids get good and bad socialization at home. Kids will be kids.... But, they don't have to sit and take a negative input into their minds and hearts all day long. They have the ability to remove themselves and to work out the difference..... In school they are moved on to the next thing. Then the child who just received something negative just gets to sit and have that linger into their minds. Now, if you have a child who doesn't struggle in any of these areas, then maybe it could be a positive experience for them. But, I know growing up in public and private school until I found my spot it was horrible. Even then you had to deal with so much on a daily basis. I can't imagine going to work everyday and dealing with people treating me the way these kids treat each other......
Why the heck are you listening to Dr. Phil? That's you're number one problem! The only thing he's an "expert" on is entertaining people!!! And who the heck says you need SCHOOL to have "peer involvement"? I know a young man who has been homeschooled his whole life. He is attending a very nice private college right now on a full-ride scholarship. My daughter will be a Senior. She scored high on her ACT test, and carries a GPA of 3.8. We've no doubt she'll be getting scholarship money.
I have a teen in public high school and I'm homeschooling my 8 year old (and soon my 4 year old). My teen has been in ps his entire life, is very outgoing and is involved in marching band and soccer, so he has no desire to leave ps. My younger son is very happy not to be in ps any longer. As far as Dr Phil goes, my father was a middle school teacher in ps for 40 years and, although he's been retired for awhile now, he begged me not to put my son back into ps unless and until he's past middle school. He said middle school is brutal on kids and he wouldn't want to see my son, who's a sensitive kid who loves to learn, have to go through it. Amazingly, my son is very shy but his self confidence and social skills have dramatically improved this past year in homeschool. At ps he would go days without talking to his "peers". Yesterday I dropped him off for his first day of zoo camp and when I picked him up I found him engaged in conversation with two other boys. One boy said "Hey dude! I'll see you tomorrow!" and gave him a quick hug! Another said something to him on the way out the door. Apparently his real peers are those who share his interest in animals and can appreciate his extensive knowledge about them.
First, I want to send out a hug to you...because when we are new our hearts seem to be more sensitive because we just do not have the experience yet to see the progress our precious children can make. Too, just my two cents but I am NO fan of Dr. Phil. He has not been given authority over the Bible..I don't care who he is! Hear my heart---you NEED GOALS... Goals are the ANCHOR, they are the "FINISHING LINE"..In otherwords where you want to end up at? What kind of relationship do you want for your children? Do you want to foster warm sibling relationships? Write down your goals and when you lose your way--they are clearly in front of you. You can see it was just a "down" in our journey, the first of many and there will be more..Just don't lose your way. I have had many moms in my workshops who had kids in ps and some at home. It was hardest for the ones whose children were closer in age....it was easier for moms who had kids say in high school and then the others who were much younger like elementary at home. But yes it is VERY difficult to do what you are doing...and with a TODDLER. YOu are to be PRAISED for what you have DONE. Do not FOCUS so much on what you did not do. Homeschooling is a lot like having a newborn the first year...Some ups, a LOT of downs.....but it all smooths out the longer you go... There is NO need to be isolated or not have peer influence.. Too, ask yourself "what kind of people do I want influencing my children?" People that love 'em...or not.... People that influence 'em in the way I want them to go or not. Who says that people or kids that do not know us ARE THE NORM and they have to be the one who influences our child? DON"T FALL FOR THAT LINE............ You are doing the RIGHT THING....Stay after it. He is ONLY 1st grade and a BOY..I have 3 boys I know somewhat how you feel.. But i am here to tell you they are WONDERFUL and can be the beautiful, handsome man that God wants them to be but ONLY with someone who cares. and scholarships abound GALORE for homeschooling kids.. My son who now is 16 is ALREADY doing college.... Keep asking questions and get knowledge..Knowledge is power... Hugs and hugs and hugs, you can DO THIS!!!
Thank you all!!! I usually do not ever listen to stuff on TV and put any faith in what they say. I guess I am doubting my abilities. I started going through our HS stuff to get more organized and felt so overwhelmed when the show came on...like everyone, I want the best for my kiddos! I have researched HS and feel this is the best for us based on our beliefs. I have decided my dd will not be going to ps next year! My ds BDay is in nov. so he was 5 -6 in ps K then 6 turning 7 for first Grd. He makes friends easily but doesn't want to participate in HS activities... Field trips , playgroups , co-ops. He is in Boyscouts and has friends there. He's not interested in sports groups although he's good at sports. He would rather stay home or go to the park and try out his skateboard. He is outgoing. I just am not sure how to get him involved. Thanks again for your encouraging words!!! A new day a fresh start: )
Also don't push your son too hard. When he is ready to get involved he will. Just keep presenting the opportunities and he will take one and run with it when he is ready.
you may very well find it MUCH easier when both children are home. I don't have a toddler, but ps put an unbelievable amount of invisible pressure on me, and in my opinion most of it was totally 'fake' stress. (like.. were their clothes new looking enough for our fashion-show ps?). Congrats on your decision!
I totally agree with Jackie here. Dr. Phil??? Get real. I believe the kids that are far more likely to be messed up is the ones subjected to all the crap in PS!! All 15 of our DC were/are home educated. Fourteen have already graduated and most of them are happily married and gainfully employed. We even have several grandchildren that are already being educated at home!
Okay, I have had one out and two home> I would take it back if I could. Even though mine was in private school I had things in orderly fashion but gave in the the pressure and prayed , God provided so I send ds#1to private school. Our organised home school time was gone. our housework went hay wire , laundry left un done days at a time and I had been so organised even in my leniency style of teaching my younger one I was organised. Once one went out and two home, the two home did not get all the attention that I needed to give them strangely enough. the outside student took up more time. I had to get him off to school, make sure he did home work after school, and if it was rainy I had to pile us in the car to go get him. He came home with words,, and attitudes that had not existed in our happy home life. Things were disrupted and I thought it was just me up untill last year when dd now in college said out loud what I had been thinking.. all things at home changed when ds1 went out to school. Now as ds 2 cries that he wants to go out I have have allowed him to join co ops, and that was okay for a year or two but he wants to go out to school with his friends... he will be starting high school this year. He will be home schooling, maybe we will do band again so he has his "friends" still but over all I have decided that the bad influences even in private schools out weight the good reasons not to have the socialization they claim we need so much of.
Sometimes all you need is a little support to remember you're not alone in this. I have one going back to ps and two in hs. Every kid is different. My kids each have a voice in the decision then my husband and I decide what we think is best.
We did the one in and one homeschool thing for one semester. All I could think about was how much I missed my little one still in PS and wanted her home. Next year, all will be home, even DS (no pre-school for him) and I can't wait to see what happens. When you have to deal with deadlines, outside stuff coming in from PS, and the normal everyday distractions that come with life, it just gets too overwhelming. I agree that the normal "socialization" our sweet babes are facing everywhere they turn are not in their best interest. Most of my girls' friends are super jealous that they are going to be home next year and we've found out who their true friends are in the process. We just make sure that there are lots of opportunities for them to get together.
We never had children in both public school and homeschool at the same time. However, our two older daughters attended and graduated from public school. Ems has been homeschooled since the beginning. Personally, I think we often fall for the worlds idea of socialization. As far as I am concerned, people need to learn to socialize with people of all ages. Yes, it is important for youth to have peers to "socialize" with, but socialization doesn't come from an institutionalized setting. My child doesn't have to be part of the system in order to experience the positive and negative aspects of life. Since she is in the real world, she sees it daily. As for scholarships for homeschoolers, yes they are available.
I've enjoyed snooping on this thread. A year ago, I had a sophmore in highschool, a 7th grader, a 5th grader, and a 1 yo. We'd never HS'd but I felt a tug to keep my 7th grader home. Wanted to test the waters with just one. Figured if it went well I'd bring my younger one home the following year. My son was/is too involved in sports and not at all open to coming home. (so, now I have a 11th, 8th, 6th. And 2 yo) For this coming year, I had doubts. We didn't finish our curriculums, I felt I wasn't doing well, my toddler is a constant distraction. PS dd (6th) started really bucking against the idea of coming home. I've gone back and forth but at the moment I'm planning to let her finish out elementary at ps and bring her home for 7th like I did with her sister. HS dd (8th grade) wants to go to ps for highschool. Schedules are hard having everyone doing something different. I can so relate to the OP's emotions. I liked so many of the responses, especially about setting goals. If dd #1 goes to ps highschool, my dd's won't be HS together at all. one will come in as the other goes out. I'm not sure that having them home together would help them get along but it's something I've wondered. It also means having to keep one eye on the PS standards just to make sure she doesn't feel unprepared or "stupid" walking into the classroom her freshman year. I'm glad I have more time to settle in and figure all this out for my youngest. But for the rest of them, I wrestle with my decisions all the time. To the point I'm almost paralyzed by them.
Number one I did start with one at home, one in PS and I found the one going to public school didn't want to anymore because she was younger and thought she was missing a daily party at home lol. Socialization only becomes a problem if you make your kids live in a bubble. Right now my prob is having my kids around PS peers because they have the worst potty mouths and are too socially inane. I have one who admits he likes to annoy people by standing around making dumb sounds. And he will come over just to do that. Thankfully my son is thinking he isn't the greatest to have around anymore because he has nothing in common with him. My son was given a brain and a choice. He chooses his friends wisely. And maybe that means he has less then the average PS kid. But he was in PS and still was the same. He likes things that other boys don't. Being in PS doesn't give any kids an advantage over homeschool kids unless parents are falling down on the job. And point of fact their are plenty of PS parents who are doing just that. So take a deep breath and keep doing what you are doing knowing it will work out regardless of Dr Phils ramblings.
