dd11 just got an ipod for her bday. She and dd7 have been making silly videos on it. Hubby was watching some of them and one was absolutely hillarious! We all laughed so hard. Well, he put it on youtube even though she asked him not to. She's already mortified. And to make things worse, my daughter stayed home from church sick today and ds15 told the youth director about the video. Everyone LOVES Cailey. So he watched it and then proceeded to play it on the big screen for the entire youth group to see. My hubby calls me laughing telling me that they did this. I'm NOT amused!! My daughter overheard me and ran off to her room in tears. I told hubby and he wanted to talk to her. She won't have anything to do with him. He'll be home in a minute and I told him he needed to take that video off youtube!! It's funny but my daughter did that for her own personal fun and didn't intend for it to be seen by the entire youth group of over 60 kids and the adults that work with them. And now that they know it's on youtube I'm sure that even more people are going to see it. The youth directer didn't know that she wasn't wanting it on youtube. So I can't fault him for it. Hubby doesn't listen and does as he pleases. It irritates the crud out of me!!! Add this to the pile of other things that's been irritating me about him lately and you've got Dynamite!!!!!! UGH!! Sorry, I had to vent. I'll try to keep a level head and not blow up, but this seriously is not the first time this has happened and probably won't be the last.
oh, I feel so bad for your dd! This age is so fragile and they can be so emotionally volitile even under the best of circumstances. This is one of those horribly inept "guy things"! No offense to the gentlemen here on the Spot! I don't know if this will help her, but please share with her that at some point, all daddies have trouble understanding their girls and are not sure about the rules. My dh is absolutely mystified by his own daughter since she turned 10. Almost to the point of avoiding her completely. (which is just as bad in it's own way!) So sorry! I hope venting has helped.
Dad seems a insensitive and you can't really do nothing about that but pray. I would tell you to just pray about it don't attack/argue with your DH. I would also take the video off you tube. In the meantime, you need to comfort your 7 yo. This is a young age and they do tend to forgive and forget a lot faster than when they get older. I would just explain to your daughter that you understand she is embarrassed but the video has made a lot of people happy and that is a special gift. Then I know sometimes as mom we have to help our children to communicate and understand their dads. I would try not to put down your DH for insensitive but just let her know dad likes comedy and funny things and loves you wanted to share or something like that. Your DH is the one that needs to apologize to her but just guessing from your post that probably want happen. My DH just became a Christian a year ago so you can only imagine the heaps of hurt he put on my boys over the years. It really takes God to make someone more sensitive no amount of us telling them seems to do any good.
I think the problem lies in your husband judging what he does based on how he would feel about it rather than how his daughter would feel about it. I found that people who ignore the wishes of another like this just don't see the big deal, because they simply don't feel the same way about it and can't imagine that everyone doesn't feel as he/she does. They're going with the "treat everyone the way you would want to be treated" rule, but not everyone likes to be treated the same way...KWIM? I guess I'd encourage your husband to change the rule to "treat my daughter the way SHE wants to be treated".
You hit the nail right on the head with your answer!! I totally agree. I did get to talk to dd11 before he got back to the house. She was crying her eyes out. I told her that he didn't mean to hurt her. He thought the video was so funny and creative and that he wanted to share it with others. She ran to her bedroom when he came home and hid under her blankets. He told her that he was so sorry and that he would delete the video. He pulled it up and she wanted to watch it again. We did and all of us laughed. Hubby told her that he would delete it and she told him to leave it up. So it's still there and she's fine with it now. I didn't even say a word to him. My daughter and him worked it out on their own.
I'm glad they worked it out, BUT.... I'm afraid he might now feel he did the "right" thing by putting it up, because now she's OK with it. Which means the next time, he'll do the same thing. (I know how MY dh thinks!!!:roll
I know. I'm right there with ya.. I'm hoping that next time maybe he will listen. He felt bad about making her cry and said he didn't realize that she really didn't want it on youtube.
