The quotes of the children interviewed are disturbing. There is something seriously wrong going on here, yet no one seems to notice. Are we just all being suked into this without realizing it? http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/pare...ow-about-teens-and-social-networking-2527367/
Wow, that's really sad. My kids seriously live in the dark ages. We have no Facebook, and no internet access in any bedrooms. The boys share one cell phone, and it has no internet access. Their phone does have texting, but we don't allow phones at meals, or use during school hours. Most of their friends are under the same restrictions, so it's not a problem. Do my kids feel left out? Do they feel socially inept? NO! I'd be concerned about the kids lying, or using their phones in classes! MT3
You know what I found most disturbing was the one girls comment that she had to do something more provocative then her friends. Like their are trying to outdo each other. At what cost? The sad fact is real life has nothing to do with FB or the internet. Yet these kids think it does. What does that say about the next generation???? Scary.
I'm going to come clean here. A very good friend's teen child has a fb account. And I find it disgusting on sooo many levels. For personal reasons, I did friend the teen (which I don't usually do for children), but I find the things she says really awful. And I don't know what is just a teen running her mouth and what is signs that she's more *ahem* experienced than she (imho) should be. I refuse to let my kids near social networking sites. Ds (9) has already asked because he knows another child who is. No way, no how. We told him we'd discuss it again when he was 15. imho those sites are for adults-18 and over. No one younger than that should have a fb account. Some of the stuff on there is so inappropriate I find it offensive... and I'm not easily offended. OTOH, if I want to flirt outrageously with my own husband or post funny slightly off-color comics, I want to be able to do that without worrying that I am compromising someone's innocence. I've received numerous friend requests from children under 15, several for children under 12. I sincerely apologize... and hit ignore. If not having a fb account makes someone invisible, oh well. I can't make parents be more responsible but I can choose NOT to make the problem worse. I'm ALSO offended by people who a.) post all their dirty laundry to fb. And b.) take 7,000 pics of themselves in various poses and post EVERY.SINGLE.ONE to their fb page.
It has become Rachael's spiritual support system. Our church doesn't have a youth group. She gets her spiritual support from her camp friends, from homeschooled friends, from friends she met at a Christian conference we use to attend. My husband and I keep up with it; I will accept any of her friends as my friends, but I don't ASK to friend them. The only reason I'm on at all is to keep up with her. Did anyone notice the comment about tech-free meals? It said to allow for a "tech break" fifteen minutes into the meal. Excuse me? Why? And then you come back to eat some more?
When it comes down to the hard facts, Facebook isn't the problem, the fault rests with the parents! I didn't allow Ems to have a facebook account for a while. Then I started looking over facebook and started my own account. I realized that with all the parental controls offered, Facebook is safer than this forum! ...and I am not knocking The Spot. My point is, facebook is only as safe as the parent chooses. So after having my account for a few months, I set up Ems an account so she can share her homeschooling life, receive info about activites and practices from her piano and choir teacher. She also enjoys sharing photos with her friends. Since Ems doesn't own a camera or cell phone, every picture she posts is taken by me or her dad. I also check her account and have deleted a friend or two because I didn't care for what they had on their pages. So bottom line is, if the parents aren't willing to patrol their child's page and set up the blocks, then the child shouldn't have an account.
I forgot to add that Ems does not have a computer in her room. She will never have a computer, phone, or tv in her room. I do not think a computer has any place in child's bedroom.
Ok, there is so much here that disturbs me. So I'll just hit the two that bothers me the most. First, the previous mention of a "break" during dinner to check messages. Uh, if you can't go an entire meal with out technology, then I would say the parents have already lost way too much control and you've got a serious addiction scenario going here. Secondly, I was really confused by the suggestion that parental monitoring is an invasion of privacy. When I was growing up, my parents routinely went through my things. I've done the same with my kids. I've checked book bags, notes hidden in underwear drawers, phone messages and so forth. I will continue to do so as long as my children live in my house. Parents who don't are just asking for a problem. My dd10 has an email addy, which is monitered daily by her dad. She does have texting on her phone, but she knows I could look at it at any time. She does not have a FB acct, because FB has a policy that you have to be 13, I'm not sure I'll let her even then.
This is very scary, but I don't think it is as much of a problem with the internet as it is with parenting. Parents are busy, and they take the easy road out. It is easier to just let teens do what they want, which starts out with letting them do innocent things like watch TV and play games all the time. Internet time is substituting for family time. How are these kids going to be in the workforce?? This all reminds me of something that shocked me today. We went to the park because it was a lovely day. There were two kids there with their mom. The boy, who was around 7 or 8 years old, didn't move the whole time we were there. He was curled up in a tube, playing some hand-held game. The girl, around 2 or 3 years old, and still in diapers, was toddling around with some sort of mp3 player. As soon as she started going on the equipment, she had to go back to mom to have the ear buds put back in her ears, again and again and again. I really don't even have words for this..........
Boy - my boys must REALLY live in the dark ages! They share a computer and have no cell phone at all! They see me on Facebook, but have no desire to open an account themselves.
lol yeah the whole kids need tech is ridiculous. My friends kids have ipods with videos..not happening here we still watch treehouse and no need for cell phones, ipods or FB. I will be slowly introducing computer skills because my son needs it to enter the field he is interested in. Thats about it until much later in their lives.
This is a common sight around schools here... kids are skilled to text behind their back so they don't get caught !! We have one teacher who is a little bit different (some of his beliefs are a little outside the box and has ruffled many parental feathers but anyway...) who, if you are caught using your cell phone during his class time, will take the phone, dial a long distance number, let it answer and then sit it on his desk for the duration of his class. When class is over, the phone is taken to the office and the parents have to pick it up. Parents know about this mans policy right from the start of the year so it isn't a surprise to them when they're called about the phone.
Parental monitoring is an invasion of privacy? Seriously?? I guess I'm as invasive as they come !! No one in the house has a facebook (or email) account that I don't know the password to. If I can't access their accounts, they don't use the computer it's just that simple. I check their facebook on a regular basis and their email as well.
I dont have a fb account, and my kids are too young still to even think about it. But Dh and I have discussed, when they're old enough to want an email add to keep in touch with friends etc, we've already picked a spot, in the living room, where they will be sitting to use the pc, so we can glance over whenever we pass by. Although you guys are right that it is the parents responsibility to set limits (remember th one girl saying she wishes her parents would stop her), I wonder what happened to the parents? Are they addicts too? What can you possibly be doing that leaves you NO time whatsoever for your children? Or is it the parenting style nowadays? " Dont put the kids in timeout, dont ever get mad at them, dont scold them, dont make them face consequences" because all these things hurt their feelings. So if kiddo says he wants a cellphone, u get him one, because otherwise he will feel left out at school which will lead to isoaltion issues, which will turn him into a psychopath, etc etc etc. I mean, what the heck!! My neighbor has a 13 yr old son. She says he got a semi nude text pic from one of his classmates...she found it because he uses her cellphone on the weekends. Anyway, so she says she's worried abt it etc etc...then she says, "I should take away the cellphone...but oh well, u know kids...hahahaha, they cant live without a cell!" I almost forgot to close my mouth at her statement. The scariest part of all this: these kids are out future workforce, our future population. And even though we raise our own kids responsibly, one day they will enter the workforce and have these messed up internet addicts for colleagues, bosses, friends....if there will even be a workforce at that time...I really am scared about the future. Everything seems to be falling apart.
The schools here aren't allowed to confiscate cell phones. The parents feel they are a necessity. And I mean "good" parents. What if there's an emergency? Kids aren't permitted to use the phone in the office, and the pay phones have been removed. There have been times when a building was on lock-down where the only way parents knew what was going on was because of kids and their cell phones. Having said that, Rachael is 17 and does not have her "own" cell phone. The family has a Tracfone. This past summer, Rachael was babysitting for a family that didn't have a land-line. They actually bought her a cheap Tracfone for emergencies, that didn't have a whole lot of minutes. We were told if we wanted to keep it when she was done, all we had to do was purchase more minutes for it. Well, we had been discussing a second Trakfone anyway, with her driving. But she doesn't have it unless she's out and about in the car or something. We've also sent it with Faythe when she babysits for a neighbor that doesn't have a land-line.
Tracfone...I have one as well. I am home a lot, so the landline is enough, and I have the tracfone on only when I'm out by myself for emergencies. We joke about how we will give our sons the lowliest of prepaid phones when they are teens, so they really would only pull them out in emergencies, and the rest of the time would probably rather tell their friends they didnt have a cell number than risk being teased because of having such a lowtech phone, lol But honestly, givng kids cell phones and then not monitoring what they're doing with it, you're just asking for trouble. My SIL gave her 9 yr old her old cell. She cant make calls, but she can access the internet, google, youtube, facebook, everything...and she has it with her all the time, without anyone ever asking what she's doing with it.
You can't keep your kids from it, eventually they will be exposed. The question is will they be able to handle it after always being sheltered from it? My kids are on FB, I am too. We connect w/family from several different states, long lost friends and add new friends all the time. It's great that they in some way know the family that I grew up knowing b/c of FB. My family is so happy to know my kids too! There are times when unpleasant things come up... but my kids are educated because I have taken the time to educate them with the truth. They understand that the filth and lack of morals is an issue out there, and they turn from it. Sometimes it leads to questions or frustrations which we deal with accordingly. I would much rather they see it now when they are young and they want to talk about it... then for them to never see it then be thrown into it later in life when they decide they are old enough they don't need moms advice.
Hey, Rachael got half of her Engineering Camp paid for because of FB! My best friend in high school was a guy, and he's currently an Engineering prof in Wisconsin. We've reconnected via FB, and I mentioned to him that Rachael was interested in Engineering. He said she really should attend a camp. I told him we looked into it, but there was no way we could spend $400. So he said he had an unexpected consultation job for the summer that paid VERY well, and he'd be willing to "scholarship" her half if she would send him a 3-page report when it was over about her experiences. She raised the rest by babysitting and cutting lawns.
I'm sorry, but I respectfully disagree. Your logic just seems a little flawed. You say that we should teach children about the danger about tech now, rather than later in life, because they won't then know how to handle it? I understand where you are coming from, because I used to think the same thing. But without letting them reach an appropriate age level, they don't have the maturity to handle even some of the little things. We don't allow kids to drive a car at 9, because they will learn at 16, when it is appropriate for them to learn. We also don't (most of us anyway) allow a young child to have tastes of alcohol, "to get them used to it," because they will face it later, and they should know how to hold their liquor. Instead of allowing young children to use the internet/facebook/email/etc. "because they will someday anyway." I think it makes better sense to teach the fundamentals of behavior and etiquette. By doing that, when they do reach an appropriate age/maturity level, they will be much more able to handle the pressures that are out there, because they will be FIRMLY grounded in their beliefs and the morals that we have taught them. Right now, I have my 6 year old set up with a penpal (his cousin from 1,000 miles away). They are learning how to write a letter (an actual paper one, lol!), they are learning how to write appropriate things, they are learning how to address another person, how to sign off, and all of the other basics. It is a foundation. One day, they will be using email (with supervision), and they will have the knowledge and maturity to address issues that come up.
