I'm feeling so grumpy about the guilt coming from two sides of my family that I'm feeling like doing NOTHING! Here's the story... Every year for Labor Day we usually go to Kansas to visit my in laws. It's my MIL's birthday. In the past we have gone to visit, then brought MIL back with us for the week. Then FIL comes the next weekend to bring her home. This year she can't come for the week, but want's us to come for Labor Day anyway, then they will still come up the following weekend. A nice guilt trip is included becuase it's my MIL's birthday. BTW it's a 7 hr drive. On MY side of the family my parents have been gone for several years, but my sibs are all getting together for a Labor Day picnic on Saturday. EVERYONE will be there including all the grown up nieces and nephews, some of which I haven't seen in a couple of years. I was really leaning towards going to that until I started getting these guilt laden e-mails and texts from my sister and SIL. How rude! That outing is a 3 hr drive away. So I'm feeling so torn and so guilted which makes me MAD that I'm feeling like not going anywhere and just staying home and enjoying MY family for the weekend. What's your opinion? Edie
Sorry you are going through this! If in-laws are coming the next weekend anyway, and you have done the Kansas trip for several years, then if it were me, I would probably go to the 3-hr family function this weekend. (And ignore the sis and SIL's rudeness. Maybe they thought you needed a nudge not to go to in-laws.) Take lots of pictures, introduce the kids to all the relatives you haven't seen in a while, and then maybe show the in-laws the pics next weekend and let the kids tell them about the other side of their family. MT3
That's what I would do too. It's so hard when you live away from family. We kind of had the opposite problem,though. Both sides of our family live in the same town. When we would come for a visit, it was a battle over where we would be and for how long. For a while, they even got to where they were counting it down to the number of hours we spent with each side. Ugh! And holidays were to worst because neither side wanted to give up the day. Instead of spending the day celebrating, we spent the day driving from house to house because we had to see all the grandma's, great-grandma's, etc on THE day. Sorry they're being difficult.
You know, it's interesting. Both families have been very good with Christmas and Thanksgiving. They never seem to fight over the big holidays. They leave it up to us. But this silly three day weekend is driving us nuts!
Personally I'd get together at the closer location with the family you've not seen in a long time and let the InLaws know that you haven't seen them in a long time and it's important to you, and that since they are coming up the following weekend you'll still get to see one another!
Thanks you all! I'm leaning towards the 3 hr trip with my family. Since the party is at noon we may just drive up and back in the same day, that way I still get two days to spend just with my husband and kids, and maybe some friends on Monday.
I talked with DH last night and he's all for us staying home! Maybe we will just take a quiet weekend for ourselves and ignore all the family drama for the weekend. Edie
I think you need to do what the family wants to do. But, I can see both ways. You have done it for years and MIL looks forward to it. But, then the family doesn't get together to much. Got a idea are they kind of in the same area. Like go to the family gathering then go the rest of way to MIL.
I have nothing to add really except I heartily agree with everyone here. You should see the family you haven't been able to see for awhile and see your inlaws the next weekend. This issue comes up for us now and then, so I feel for you. Just have fun!
