I have to say, I 've had typical "I don't know how you do it, " "I don't have enough patience," etc- generic comments. We have been attending a church for a while. We are the only homeschooling family in a small church FULL of school teachers, coaches, and counselors. One teacher has made just-shy-of-rude comments several times, but I let it go as ignorance. The church hired a new pastor several months ago, and he has made several changes that dh and I do not agree with, and some of his messages are not biblically sound. So, we have been visting other churches (and hopefully a homeschool friendly one!). This morning I got a call from the very lady who has always made iffy comments. She let me know that she missed us at church (one sentence) and then launched into questions about hs'ing--Had I started yet, did I use online public school which requires a minimum number of hours each day. I told her "yes," and "no, I do not use ps online". She then informed me that ps online was a way to be held accountable when homeschooling. Her tone greatly implied that my way was not good enough. I just said, "Thank you for calling," and hung up. Really--- you want my family to come back to your church, but you call and bash homeschoolers? Makes me want to run further away!
Run For THe Hills!!! lol....... She is so not worth you stressing over... Let the LOrd lead you to a better church for your family.
Sigh.... Short of being rude back :twisted:, you did the only thing you could. She probably thought that you didn't know about on-line, and she was being very helpful in informing you about it. Of course, there's some help that helps, and some that doesn't.....
I am sorry you had to go through that. I have mostly support or if they don't support me they don't let me know (at church and at home). I have had a few people at work look at me oddly, but never say anything too bad or offensive. As far as why people do it- it probably varies, but I would venture to say that it could be: 1. They think they know more about learning than you do, so they don't possibly think you could educate your child. 2. They only know "the system" even in its brokenness, so they think there is no other way and it is almost heretical to do anything else. I know that some people are probably that "brainwashed" (if you will, I don't know what other word to use) to think that. 3. They are sincerely afraid you are going to ruin your children. As far as #1 goes, I think we have a great opportunity to show the world that children can grow and learn a lot without being educated by someone else. We can help our children learn, but to me "educating them" is what public school does.
I say this as a strong Christian... God save us from the righteous! (or self-righteous) People are human /shrug. Heaven knows I've thought before I spoke way too many times. *hugs*
Maybe I have PMS, but I'm so mad at public school right now! I wonder where ladies like her were when my fourth grade teacher showed up late to class most days, spent half an hour applying makeup in the corner, and let us have week long class parties. I wonder where people like her were when a boy in my English class in eighth grade flashed his genitals at me. I wonder where she was when half of my eighth grade history class got hammered on tequila in water bottles... during class. I wonder where she was when my 10th grade history teacher would write page numbers on the board and leave the room for the remainder of class, or when my high school math teacher would leave his teacher's manual open and stand in te hall so we could cheat because he was just a coach and didn't know how to teach math. I wonder where she was when my art teacher in high school would allow me to skip class but mark me present as long as I brought him back a scone. Or how about the million times we played heads up seven up or watched useless movies to fill the time. Who exactly are they accountable to?
How annoying to put up with for sure. Sorry you are being driven from your church by other peoples attitudes.
I agree.. you were as polite as you could be. I had a neighbor I don't know well show up to give us some old magazines. I appreciated the magazines, but she felt the need to follow that up with how kids in ps do well because of parental involvement (and went on... and on...). She apparently assumed that my kids' problems were because dh and I didn't help (never mind that the school told me to STOP helping dd, never mind that ds was a straight-A-but-one student!). I'm tired of answering the 'how do you report' question, since it smacks of implying I'm doing it wrong. I guess I just don't get people. I ran into very few hs families before we started, but I would never have asked a practical stranger the boatload of questions I've been asked, nor would I have assumed anything about them, their kids, or their methods. It's been a complete shock!
maybe she was thinking of homeschooling her self? maybbbbbeeeeeeeeee someoen taked ot her and she thought OH here's my in with this really cool lady that home schools? k--jk Actually I get more people asking me how to home school than how to stay accountable. they think you have to be government run peoples... which if that were the case why would we bother? lol! I just told someone yesterday that I have very good teacher books that tell me what to do! Lol! some actually don't tell me much of anything other than what the kid got right or wrong! But they know i am a teacher as one of my 'gifts' for the most part so they dont pester me much anymore-- specially since my dd graduated two years early lol!
For the record, the lack of hs support is NOT the reason we are leaving the church. I can deal with that. I just thought it was so NOT the conversation she should have had with me, if she wanted my family to come back. That is one question she has asked several times before. I take it the same way--you must think I'm not doing my job to ask it. Nah... she's a grandma, with a husband, son, and two DIL's that all work in education and attend the church. I am cool though.... they should want to be like me. LOL!
I am thankful to belong to a very homeschool friendly church. Oh wait, we home church, too! LOL And it's just us most sundays! LOL Anyway....(((HUGS))) That was very rude.
Exactly --- she should've been much warmer and concerned about you as a person, not attacked you (passive-aggressively) about homeschooling. I think you and your family would be much happier elsewhere for a multitude of reasons, and I wish you success in finding a church home.
People like that are the same ones who asks childless couples when they are starting a family, or ask tall people if they play basketball, or ask blind people how they get around on their own. Her questions were probably less about her judging you and more about her own lack of tact. I wouldn't take it personally, but I wouldn't go back either!
the only reason I'm playing the "from the opinion of a former public school teacher" card -- wait! stay with me, it's good I promise! -- is because I spent my entire 7 years defending homeschooling to my teacher friends. I've seen it work and I've seen it done correctly, so I told all the success stories I could and I played up homeschooling as a FANTASTIC alternative to public school when done correctly. I think I may have even gotten through to a few of my friends!! But, one of the biggest reasons that public educators have so much trouble with homeschooling is because they see the failures. They see the kids that return to school after being "homeschooled" and for whatever reason it was a disaster and the kid learned nothing. The public school also comes across the parents that get irate over a decision that is made concerning their child and they then storm out of the building saying "I"m withdrawing! We're homeschooling!". And actually, I'm not talking about the times when the parent is right; I'm talking about when a child has run their course through referrals, etc and is being sent to the alternative school. The parent doesn't want that stigma and they "homeschool" during the timeframe in which the child should be at alternative school. The child then returns to his home campus and is sooooo far behind the teachers spend the rest of the year making up work with them. NOW! having said all that -- your "friend" is way out of line. I can not imagine doing that to someone! How can you be so smug when you have no idea what goes on in a particular home classroom?! How sad that she chooses to only see her way.
I can easily understand this. Unfortunately, even before we started homeschooling, when we still BELIEVED in our local ps, the teachers/principal acted like it was 'us vs. them'. Dh and I were just the dumb parents who needed to shut up. There is a mentality in the teachers (not all, but many) that is completely unacceptable in my opinion. I don't recall they were there when dh and I made our kids, they weren't there through birthing. They weren't there through late nights of throwing up, potty training, or learning to talk. They should be PARTNERS in teaching our children, not judges and jury. Anyway, I promise mkel, I DO understand what you are saying. I'm hoping it's the small minority of kids who are homeschooled with no school (meaning education) involved AT ALL. And if they are, ps is obviously better than the alternative.
I fully agree, Meghan. I had many unpopular ps teacher opinions. Made for interesting "chats" with principals and the superintendent once and a great while.
