I hate to say it, but I think this is true. If the parents don't care, it is unlikely the kids will apply themselves in a school setting or at home. Very sad. I must say, I haven't run into homeschoolers of this ilk.
I know I taught a coop class in Life Skills for jr high - high school ages. I asked the kids to write a list of things they might want to be when they grew up. I was rather sad to see that all three kids from one family couldn't write the list. They weren't even turning it in, but just looking over their shoulders one hadn't written anything, one wrote something, erased, wrote erased etc. And one wrote just a couple of words and it looked like a 1st grader had written it. I know not all homeschool families are the same and kids have different skills, but for a highschool aged child to not be able to write a short list (we aren't even talking sentences here) is just sad. I know they were farmers, and probably know how to run a farm very well, but they need to be able to handle the bookkeeping side of a farm too. What are they going to do about that?? OK rant over.... I'm feeling kind of ranty today. Sorry about that. Edie
Okay, I'm going to be the kind of odd man out here. Especially given the OP's parental situation...which can lead to a "tint" or "bias" towards what she perceives. I am a *very* relaxed homeschooler. Granted, my kids are still small(ish). I do very little bookwork. I stress their scouting activities as "school" work. Our sit-down-and-learn time is minimal at best. But...I have a ton of books on a variety of subjects from the library. My kids adore reading. My 10 yo keeps telling everyone that she hates math - this is a lie. She detests the repetitive monotony of sitdown work - but she thinks long division, fractions, and multiplication is "fun." She memorized her 12 times tables not because I pressed her, but because she sat up in her room and put them together. My 6 yo loves math, so I bought him a workbook like his siblings. He can read the directions and the instructions, so frankly, I leave him alone for 80% of it. And he does it all. He prefers not to have me hovering. I'm there if he has a question, but I'm not "sitting with him." That is, much of what I have seen people in this thread accusing others of doing are things that, viewed from the outside, I seem to be doing. I don't "look" like a good homeschooling parent. Just ask my mom. <eyeroll> BUT. I feel like I am doing what works best for my kids and my family. I taught my kids long ago to be independent - to work and to play by themselves, as well as with each other. All I'm saying is, you can never tell what goes on "behind closed doors." I swear the only reason people leave me alone is because I have an astrophysics degree ("oh you're qualified to homeschool" <eyeroll>) and because my kids are all big readers.
Everybody doesn't begin the homeschooling journey due to public school's bummer grooming rules? How can that NOT be success waiting to bloom?
This article is very interesting. I'm not sure how I feel about the last para there. Unschooling kids did worse between 5-10, but that isn't really an indication of what the future holds for these kids: at some point will their parents insist on stronger academics? Having 2 kids between 5-10 tells me that kids' maturity levels are all over the map. Ds wouldn't be a very good 'unschooling' candidate in the traditional way: he won't pick up a good book on his own, let alone teach himself math or writing. BUT BUT he loves strategy computer games (involving some pretty complex thinking and planning), and he is incredible with his legos. He makes stop-motion films with them, and knows how to run some computer programs. What exactly is he teaching himself? idk, but I suspect some serious logic. Dd, otoh, loves book learning, so WOULD teach herself the '3 Rs' even if I didn't push her (well, not reading but that isn't her fault). BUT, in the logic department, ds has her beat by a mile. She would prefer to play dressup and teaparty. She has homemaker skills and caretaking skills galore, but more indepth thinking is above her, so she just won't make the abstract connection ds does. Again, though, she is in a 'concrete' stage, and ds isn't, so that has a big affect as well.
I really hope I didn't step on anyones toes. I did not mean to imply that just because someone is not sitting down 4 hours a day with their kids and working out of textbooks, that they are not homeschooling. Different people homeschool different ways, That what homeschooling is all about. Doing what works best for our kids. There's no cookie cutter education in homeschool. With that being said, There is ABSOLUETLY nothing wrong with what you are doing! You are allowing your kids to learn the best way for them. I do agree, that sometimes what we see is not always the case. BUT I know for a fact that the one that is homeschooling now does nothing with her kids. She has said she doesn't have the time... But has time to spend hours on end talking on the phone and going to visit friends and has friends over during the day when her kids are "schooling". I just don't get it.
Although, as I said, I think making judgements about people and education is really ... wrong, this caught my eye: This is ZERO excuse for not educating your children. Someone who says they are 'too busy' to educate their children isn't putting the thought, love, and dedication into it that any other sort of homeschooling parent is. I couldn't unschool, myself, but from my understanding unschooling parents put a LOT of thought into what materials to have around. This statement, otoh, is the equivalent of saying one is too busy to kiss booboos, cook supper, or make any attempts to discipline and love on their kids. Unacceptable and neglectful. There are plenty of days when I'm too busy/too tired/too sick to want to pick up the house, wash the dishes, or fight with my kids over baths. That doesn't negate that it's my JOB to do those things, and they get done no matter what. imho, educating my children is the exact same thing (although I did take today off but tomorrow it'll be back to business as usual)
I'm floating around on the internet tonight (surprise! lol), and ran across something that reminded me of this thread. I won't mention the forum, or the philosophy behind it. BUT... A few things were... well... from where I'm standing.... horrifying. Like the mom who said she hadn't washed her kid's hair in a YEAR. Except her post made it sound like she hadn't actually BATHED her kid in that long. The child is 3. She said he smelled, and she was ok with that. Huh? Or the 9yo who desperately wants to learn to read and is really mad at her parents for not teaching her.. but who is being told that she'll learn on her own when she's the 'right age' or ... something to that affect. (reading was compared to walking and talking.. a totally false analogy imho since reading is a human construct, not a natural ability) Story after story... parents who suggested trying a curric for, say, the kid who wanted to learn to read were blasted for 'forcing' the child before she was ready. How is it forcing to hear our children's pleas for help and offering aid? I don't get it. What was scariest? These parents thought they were doing their children a favor by NOT setting rules, limits, boundaries. They think their children are happy and carefree without a guiding framework. One person said ALL kids raised in this ... manner learn to read at some point. How? Osmosis? I don't get it. I didn't even know these parents existed, and I take back my assertations that most/all homeschooling parents feel that education is important in some context, regardless of what direction that takes them and what speed/curric they use. I think I'm scarred for life (or at least until I go read some other forum of overachievers and balance it all out... ) P.S. I'm not saying you HAVE to teach your child to read at 9, or bathe your child on a regular basis. That's your choice, and I will try my best to NOT judge you for that decision. But if your kid smells well... please keep him away from me. My nose is quite sensitive. Thanks.
No toes here, just throwing out the example-at-home that sometimes the things that go on behind closed doors are more than we would guess from looking from without. I didn't mean to sound like I was upset, just providing an example. My mom is always telling me that I'm not doing enough, and I've had to learn to let it roll off me. Then, too, I'm the type to complain about being busy, exhausted, etc but I don't go into in-depth analysis with most people...heck even with my best hsing friend, who I think thinks I'm a slacker lol though she's never said so, she just does this raised eyebrow, teenagers take more structure thing (she has a teen, and it usually came abt when we were discussing problems she was having with her older kids). Anyway, there absolutely ARE cases where kids are being neglected. I actually meant to come back to that but I got sidetracked. IMO, even if it means harsher regulations, if you think someone is neglecting their kids or their education, then I think something should be said. For me, homeschooling is about the individual. While I live in PA, which I've heard tell is one of the most regulated states >.<, the fact is, as long as someone is homeschooling, I think it would be hard to "lose" that right - especially if they are willing to fight. And, frankly, as much as I would hate to be more encumbered - I wouldn't want someone else to ignore a child being abused or neglected to give me that freedom. A few years ago, when my oldest was three and learning to be very precise, she told someone that Mommy and Daddy spanked her "with fingers". So the Dept of Family Services was called...I was a wreck (b/c several kids in Atlanta had just been killed by parent/boyfriend after DFACS was called and okayed them; I was afraid they would overreact). But, we made it through, and the woman told us after interviewing her that it was obvious she wasn't abused. (whew) Afterwards, I was glad that someone cared enough about my daughter enough to make the call. My two cents.
Sounds to me like her kids aren't going to be any better off in either situation. From your post, it sounds like it doesn't matter if they are homeschooled or in PS, what she is teaching them is 'if it isn't working or you don't get your way...run..leave...give up" If you ask me, they have bigger problems in their future than not being good at math or knowing enough history...
