This weekend (thanks to alcohol loosening tongues) I found out that One friend thinks I'm neglecting and handicapping my child by home educating. Another friend feels that 'homeschooler' is much worse than any label ps could dish out and harm her much more than ps ever would because it will isolate her by making her 'different'. Pretty much everyone is waiting for me to give up and put Miss 5 in ps. I was almost in tears when I got home. ETA: Oh the fun of living in a small rural town (4,000) where what homeschoolers there are keep to themselves... no real life mentors.
I am so sorry you were subjected to that! (((hugs))) I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but I have no one who honestly has told me I made the right choice. It doesn't matter that dd was failing out, couldn't read, shed tears because she thought she was stupid (at 6). NO ONE thought it was the right choice. Only my dh was willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. My father told me I should have called a meeting with my family members (him, my sister & fam, my mother...) before making such a decision. I'm surrounded by people who think I'm incapable. But I'm the one who tucks my kids in at night, I'm the one who will carry the lifelong regret if I don't follow my heart (and head). MY job is to raise them to the VERY BEST of my ability. And that INCLUDES making sure they are educated so they can be productive, happy adults. No one, except my husband, has the same stake in who and what they are and will become. So let the naysayers say whatever they want. YOU know what is the best thing for YOUR child. For whatever reasons you are homeschooling, hold tight to those, and trust yourself. When the sun goes down, YOU have to be able to look your child in the eye and know that you did every single thing you could for her. You CAN do this.
(((HUGS))) That's so awful to go through that. The proof will be in the pudding...just wait it out....they'll see. DO NOT LET YOUR "FRIENDS" make you doubt your choice!!!! Friends who don't support you, and have more faith in you than that are NOT friends. (((HUGS)))
With friends like that, who needs enemies, right? I'm sorry they would say such retched things to you. The good part is, they're all wrong! When in doubt, let the statistics speak for themselves. While it may never convince anyone else, these facts may comfort you in times of doubt: http://www.hslda.org/docs/nche/000010/200410250.asp http://www.hslda.org/docs/nche/000000/00000068.asp
You're doubting what YOU think is best for your kids based on "public" opinion of three people? Homeschoolers don't raise their kids based on public opinion. Do what you feel is best, and get use to ignoring the peanut gallery. Be sure to pass around PLENTY of bean dip! YOU CAN DO THIS!!! (And besides, the public opinion HERE is greater than the three "friends" there!)
Just be patient, and have faith! It'll all work out in the end. If in a few years you do end up putting your child in school, it won't be "giving up", it'll be the right move for the circumstances and for the individual child. But don't worry about it now. All that matters NOW is what you're doing today. If today is a successful day then tomorrow will be, too. And those small successes will build on each other. Meanwhile, you'll be creating a family bond that can't be matched. I was privileged to be able to home school my children from grades 1 through to the end of 4. It was a wonderful time for us, and I was sorry when it ended. But now they're in public high school, and people keep commenting on what "good" kids they are (like they can't quite understand how it happened, what with ME as a mother :lol. My teens are respectful, responsible and they stay out of trouble. I think it's because I spent more time "hand-rearing" them, as it were. As for the educational side of things... My daughter has actually thanked me for the solid foundation I gave her in math! She's seen that she has had an advantage the other children didn't get, now that she's moving into higher maths.
So sorry! I know that's what most people here would like to say to us if they had the chance too. They're just waiting until I finish going through my "phase" and put the kids back in school and go back to work. I just ignore them. My husband is happy with our choice and he's the only one that matters. I don't have any real life mentors either, that's why I spend so much time here.
This exactly! Just remember public school produced these so called friends.:roll: Your goal is to keep your children from growing up to be like them!
Screw 'em. Yep. I said that. I am SO sick of hearing how good parents are made to second guess themselves by so-called friends and families. We have to stick up for ourselves and believe we are making the right decisions for our kids. If you were comfortable with your decision earlier, then do not let those comments sway you. You know what is best for your children... stand strong in your conviction and let the opinions of others roll off your back. We are here for each other, thankfully.
We were all thinking it. Here is where the rubber meets the road. Your decision is now starting to affect your friendships. Just remember they are not questioning you. They are not comfortable with your decision and are only focusing on how it is affecting them. It sucks to find out who your real friends are, especially in a small town (we live outside of a town of 1,000) They are the ones who know you well enough to know you made the right decision for your family and they will support you even if they don't understand it. It really helped me during that time to make a physical list of the reasons we decided to homeschool. When I started to question our decision, I could look at our list and see that nothing had changed. I am so glad I didn't cave to pressure from "friends" and family who were nasty about it. They see now that my son who was suspended twice in kindergarten is now a very mature, respectful, hard working young man. Funny how that all works out. Now the only time people open their mouths about homeschooling is when their jaws hit the floor.
They want you to be like them. They think they are cool and that a label makes you uncool. They are shallow and they want you and your daughter to be shallow. It was like totally square not to be a Nazi in Germany not too far past. You decide. Is time on your side or theirs. Are people who would judge your daughter because of a label THEY attached to her the kind of friends she needs? No one wants their children to be outcasts, but we have to look hard at who is casting them out and why. Right is right and wrong is wrong.
Oh my heavens! I'm so sorry you've been put through that. What I've had to consistently tell myself is that I am responsible for raising my children in a way that pleases my Father in Heaven. What He directs me to do may not be "popular" with my friends and family, but it's what He says is right and that is what matters. I love this site for that exact reason. Any outside support I may be lacking is more than made up for here. Hang tough mamma, the rewards will far outweigh the yuck!
Some people can't let go of the ingrained ideas that they have grown up with. I have to honestly say that I have been guilty of this in another way. For the first couple of years that we homeschooled, I wanted to be just like a school and thought that was the only way. When other people would mention how relaxed they were or that they weren't going to keep grades or whatever, I would just think to myself how wrong they were. Now, I know that there are so many different ways to homeschool. I also realize that we may never know exactly what is THE absolute right way to educate a child. They really need to keep their mouths shut, but maybe if you can understand that they are most likely just not able to see other possibilities, you may be able to answer their rants without exploding. OR, if they insist that they are right and you are wrong, you can just procede to tell them how horrible it is that their children are exposed to all those horrible things in school.
They object because they don't know any better. Those are their doubts, not yours. Let this kind of thing strengthen your resolve, "I'll show them."
Thank you everyone. I'm not going to let them get to me, though I am glad Miss 5 didn't hear any of it. Anyway on Monday Miss 5 managed to show me just how well she's learning without school. Today she baked cookies with me, washed the car with dad (complete with huge water fight and soaked through), observed bugs escaping the great flood, and read usborne puzzle books with my brother (they were his books when he was little), and painted pictures for Poppy's birthday (her adopted granddad). She's happy so screw them.
I have a friend who has two boys... rather rambunctious somewhat ill behaved boys. She homeschooled one boy for half a semester and was amazed at the changes he made! He was much better behaved, happier etc. Then she sent him back to school and he reverted to his old ways. She doesn't associate homeschooling with his behavior??!? She's also always astounded at how well behaved my son is and loves it when my son plays with hers because he's so NICE! Uh yeah.... homeschooling DOES have something to do with that! LOL!
