Hello, We are starting our first year of homeschooling and it is not going AT ALL how I thought (and read) that it was going to be. I have an 8 year old boy who only wants to watch T.V. and play video games all day. He has been in ps since Kinder and I took him out because I thought that hs could benefit our whole family. I also have a 4 year old girl who is very enthusiastic about learning. I can sit with her and read or do flash cards, she's easy. Then I have a 20 month old who is into everything! No matter how baby-proof I try to make the house, it seems like I am continually getting up to get her out of something. I am ready to just give up and send them to ps. I really don't want to though. There is so many people (including my husband) who thinks homeschooling isnt a good idea and I know I would get lots of "I told you so's" Help! Help!
Welcome to the group. I hope that others can offer some great words of advice. I have a 6 year old first grader who is the same way. He whines and complains at the mere mention of school time. I find it helps to tell him we are starting school and it is time for tv, etc. to be turned off. Then, I let him know that there are a certain number of things that need to be done. How long that takes is up to him. So, some days he will sit there and fuss for 15 minutes before doing his work. I just remind him that we will be sitting there for as long as it takes. Some weeks I have an incentive planned for Friday and during the week he is reminded that if he wants to earn the Friday special item, he needs to do his school work without giving me hassles. Good luck finding what works for your family. I am still searching and trying new things.
I make video games/tv only an option if the schoolwork, play, cleaning is all been put in first. If the school work isn't done then there will be NO video games. Also motivation for this year, we did school store last year and reward points. This year if we make it through Mon-Thurs with no whining, complaining etc and work is completed then Friday becomes an additional day off. If not we will have school but it will consist only of educational games. I found out today that it will be easier said then done to get through a day without any complaining lol. So I have added a three strike system. Three strikes for more then two days out of four means a definite no free Friday. I think this year will go better because I have broken school into morning and afternoon chunks. As well we always have art/gym during the week. And we are introducing computer aided learning so that will make it more fun for them. Motivation is something we all struggle with. Making my kids know that I think eases the stress from them. School is meant to be learning and learning should be fun or a least slightly enjoyable. Trust me there have been plenty of days where I wanted to run screaming from the house. But I am praying it goes better this year since they are both a tad older and wiser.
Thank you for the tip. I appreciate any words of wisdom from hs parents who know better than I. I will definitely use your advice and see if that works. Thanks again!
PS has a way of killing that love of learning. Kids learn that school is a chore. Most people would suggest a time of "de-schooling" to get them in a more positive frame of mind. It could take months for his natural curiosity to be rekindled. That's not to say he should be allowed to watch TV all day. Without even mentioning the word "school", find fun,interesting things to do and explore. Lots of craft projects that actually tie into educational stuff he's interested in. Dinosaurs, heavy machinery, nature, history,etc are easy subjects to sneak info into. Netflix is a great resource for documenteries. Magazines like Ranger Rick or NatGeo for kids, and a library card are great ways to teach without it feeling like "school". BTW, welcome! (I forgot that part)
Ds has never stepped foot in ps, and he still is a pain when it comes to school time :roll:. Then again, he has always had that personality. He will whine and complain at shower time. Then, when he is in the shower, it is impossible to get him out. Kids can be so frustrating...good thing we love them.
Keep the TV off until after school work is done and make video game time a reward for completing school work whine-free. Start small and build up (i.e. reward him with 15 minutes of video game time for 15 minutes of work without whining).
Yes yes yes to everything the others said!! I also think 8 year olds were put on the planet to test us . My son was awful at 8 as well. And the first few months (at least) are a training period for EVERYONE. He will have to learn that mom knows more than he thought, and that homeschooling doesn't mean no schooling. With my ds, it felt more like bootcamp (and patience building lessons for me) than school. My suggestions echo the others: no fun stuff until school work is done, even if that means HOURS (if he's like my ds) of listening to him whine, complain, and maybe even yell. You stay as calm as you possibly can- school isn't a choice, so don't get dragged into arguments or bargaining (imho- but I agree with the others about the rewards ). Keep it light at first: stick with ONLY the few subjects that are especially important to you and do those FIRST. That way, if he throws a fit after 1/2 an hour, you've at least gotten math and reading (or whatever is most important to you) out of the way. As his interest in learning gets better, and you start working better together, you can trickle back in the other stuff. imho, when I started out, my kids were NOT LIKE the stories. My dd was super eager to learn but had AWFUL confidence issues so I had to tread very carefully. My ds desperately needed to be homeschooled as well, but he wasn't grateful for the opportunity, nor was he cooperative (an understatement). It took a few months before that got better, yet he was still a reluctant worker for me. Sit with your ds when he's doing schoolwork. For some reason, my ds (9) NEEDS me there. Not to do his work, but just for company. Also take a look at what you are teaching him. If there are too many tears over something, consider backing up and starting at an easier level. If all else fails, have your dh give him a lecture without you (man to man). I'm also not above telling my kids if they don't like the 2hrs or whatever of school here followed by HOURS of playing and doing what they want, they are welcome to get on the schoolbus and go back to 8hrs of boredom and exhaustion. That seems to put it more in prospective Ok, that's my advice . We are still new, so take what is helpful and leave the rest.
It usually takes a while to get them into a routine but you need to be consistant. It took us a good 6 months when we first took dd out of ps for 1st grade. Even though she knows the drill it always takes a few weeks to get back into the routine. Like everyone else has said no electronics or playing until school work is done. Since you are just starting your hs journey you will need sometime to deschool. I would suggest including some educational games, videos or field trips into your weekly routine. Do your mental math/practice tables by having him toss paper into a wastebasket (basketball) so he feels more like he is playing. He needs to learn how to work independently and that is not a skill most kids have right off the bat. Make sure assignments are short, divide them up into two sections. Do one section now, then art, then you can go back and finish the other lesson. Something to break up the day. It normally is not easy at first. I have had my share of tantrums and fits (even had one yesterday). When that happens I just tell dd to let me know when she is finished and remind her that she is cutting into her own free time with every minute she spends crying. I then walk into another room and close the door. Eventually she calms down and comes and gets me. Sometimes the kids just need to get their fustrations out. Good luck and know it will get better with time.
I agree with de-schooling. Also get rid of your expectations. I mean that in the nicest way!:angel: You will find as you go that you need to homeschool in a fashion that works for your children and not by what works for other people in a book or online. All our children are different and all will need to be homeschooled differently. We WILL be let down and frustrated if we try to go by the book. Homeschooling is a part of raising your child and raising children can't be done by the book. Books and this forum are great in helping to come up with a foundation but in the end, take notes from your children. They will be the best guide. It is easy to want to place the kiddos back in school when the road gets rough and believe me, I am in my ninth year and it does get rough at times. Use this as a learning moment to learn about your child and what works best. You are covering new territory and it is a learning process. But you can do it. Remember, this is a new experience for you as well as you kiddos. We are here to help you now and later. :love:
Yes with de-schooling, yes with no electronics that aren't school-related. Do lots of nature hikes. Talk about life, read lots of books. What is he interested in? You can do some awesome science with LEGOS. We were looking at YouTube just yesterday and seeing kids who made some bottle-rocket powered cars out LEGOS. Boys generally like science. The messier the better. Does your library have the complete set of Liberty's Kids? Watch them in order, and put it down as history.
I have the same issues, about every 3-6 months. I find something that works for a while, then he'll change a bit and I have to tweek things. A couple of things that have been consistent is the no TV/video games unless school is done with a decent attitude. And even then it is limited. I also use a set of 3 cards made up like a red light.... each card has either a yellow, green or red circle. We start each day on green, but if he drags his feet too bad attitude I flip to yellow. Most times that is as far as we get, but if he still can't behave I flip to the red and he's lost his TV/gaming time for that day. Don't give up... things will get better!
Hmmm... I'm going to take a different track here. Though I agree with everyone, I also know that there are many approaches. My approach with my kids, right or wrong, has always been a little hands off... Early on, I decided on a various eclectic mix of ideas, a little Charlotte Mason, a little Montesori, a little traditional. So, if my child wanted tv and video, I'd let him have it. With a twist. We've always used educational tv and educational video games for learning. I don't do school from 9-4 or whatever. We school all day, but it has always (for 11 years) been self-guided to an extant. I've used the History Channel, Discovery, Animal planet, etc--- I'd check what the schedule was and suggest shows that were what I wanted to teach. As your son is 8, I'd suggest some PBS as well --- if you don't like the current list of shows, the library usually has tons of Electric company, Mister Wizard, Mister Rogers, Carmen Sandiego, etc. on DVD or video. There is also a great educational video website that works like Netflix that we used. I also used TONS of computer games, our favorite being Reader Rabbit, esp. the Reader Rabbit math for grades 2-3. I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't fight it by fighting it. Fight it by USING it to your advantage. My "detractors" couldn't really say I was wrong when my son could speak 3 languages after watching a foreign language dvd and playing Talk Now in Italian....
Dear Friend, Please do not make the mistake of sending them back. As a homeschool mom and educator for over 18 years, let me tell you this, it will get easier. I have been coach moms on how to homeschool effectively and here are some of my favorite tips on this subject: STAY HOME I found that we cannot homeschool if we are away from home too much. Yes outings can be a break for mom and kids, but I have found real learning happens mostly at home. STAY CONNECTED Stay connected with your extended family, homeschool group, church. We move lots so I have many long distance relationships with other military wives who I can send a "need your prayer" email or just ask for advice. It is so important to take the time to just send short notes to these and other friends so that you keep in touch. (this was also sooooo very important for me when my husband was deployed in the past) SPEND A LITTLE TIME RESEARCHING I have found researching what we are learning and different ways to homeschool (via books or the internet) is such an immeasurable source of encouragement. JOYFUL HOME ATMOSPHERE Keeping your mind focused on and depending on Gods quiet strength has been so important when you are sleep deprived or just plain exhausted from so many demands of schooling, a young baby and many home needs - like laundry, meals and just getting everyone tubbed and in bed without losing your mind. focus on one bible verse or words of a hymn that have touched your heart. listen to instrumental music, light candles, make your leaning enviornment fun and relaxing. Do not allow the complaining spirit into your mind or mouth which will bring more problems into your home. Also, remember that children mimick their parents. If you are waking up sluggish and dragging with a spirit of Oh, I don’t want to do school. So will your children. When you wake up excited and happy about your day and learning and having a spirit of gratitude to be able to homeschool, that spirit will rub off on your children. TAKE POWER NAPS A 15 minute nap is like hitting the reset button for me. A must almost everyday right after lunch and then I am good to go for the rest of the day. Sometimes I have taken the nap whilst rocking a baby in a rocking chair . To keep older kids occupied, I used to put on a short video, but now mostly have them read in our school room and for ones who are not obedient I will have them play in their room for a short time. AFTERNOON HOMESCHOOL Feel free to just school after lunch (and your power nap). I found with a 4 month old and an 18 month old we really could get very little done in the am. So I just decided we would only school in the pm hours. I would read the bible and other literature with my older kids in the evenings after babies had gone to bed. Precious quiet hours - use them wisely. We sometimes also did some school on the weekend when Dad was home to help with the babies. Do not over plan your goals! Realize that your homeschool is really not about what the curriculum says my child should learn, but how and in what direction the Lord is growing you that year. Some days it can feel like you are just trying to survive the year, but looking back the top priority should growing closer together as a family in the Lord and learning to rely on His strength for our needs. My kids can still learn a lot of curriculum as they grow and become more independent. Also, The summer months are a great time to catch up on some of your schooling. Also it is quite helpful to leave one week open each month for "catch up" in material that you simply did not get to but really thought your kids would love. This could be a special extra project in geography or just time to reading to children. It is also breathing time that you do not have to "feel guilty" that you are not homeschooling full time. YOU ARE and do not doubt it. Saturdays are a wonderful catch-up days with Dad home NEVER, NEVER COMPARE YOUR FAMILY TO ANOTHER No matter how much you love what another family is doing and even if they have the same age children as you do, never compare what your family is doing for homeschooling to another. Remember that every family is different and that what the Lord may be teaching your family during this current school year may be different from what another family may be learning. If you see a great idea and think I want to do that, just jot it down on your list of ideas, pray about it and give yourself the freedom to school as you and your husband feel led this year. For So many families, it is so hard to remember that your homeschool is not about the academics but building and growing your family. I viewed these infant years as an opportunity for our family to grow closer together. (babies are really only infants for one year and only a toddler for a year! so short a time) Sure you may miss out on activities that are happening in your neighborhood or even homeschool group, but when you look for new ways to learn and have fun as a family in your back yard or even living room, there are amazing blessings for you and your family. Homeschool on the couch Not everything has to be at a desk or at the kitchen table. For me, I would homeschool my children while breast feeding. My child would sit next to me and read while I looked on and corrected them when they were making mistakes. The older of the two would read us chapter books. For comprehension, we would discuss what we just read and what the author was trying to convey. Split up the students. Say you have two students; Have one of the students play with their younger sibling while you instruct the other one on one day and switch students on the other. That way you can give individual instruction and you can be sure that your child is learning. Discussion is still school. Often while holding the baby, my older children and I would have discussion time and we would discuss sentence structure, I would start a simple sentence and ask for them to give me an adverb or and adjective. We would play games and add at least two or three adjectives to each sentence. After we played that game for a while I asked the kids to go write me sentences and include adjectives, adverbs or what ever else we were learning. We would some times play games like teach the teacher. Or teach your brother. I have found that when the children help teach, they retain more information. This also gave them a sense of pride and accomplishment. How cool is it for them to teach? Let the children play educational games. There are so many great games for kids that teach, when you have very small children these can be a big blessing. Most importantly, I taught my older children how to teach themselves. Sometimes when they were having difficulties I would have them bring me their books. Then, I would have them read me the directions. More often than not, once they read the directions to me they got it! What that told me is that they just wanted to make sure I was interested in what they were doing. Do arts and crafts. You could set the youngest to color, paint or play dough while the older ones are working on what ever Craft will fit into their curriculum. If you are studying about Indians perhaps they could make a paper TEE PEE. Computer school is always a hit. When you find that you really do not have time to TEACH, let the computer help. Finally remember, planning your day and week with what curriculum you are going to teach is a great idea. I am a believer in scheduling. But you must also remember that when you have an infant, schedules can sometimes go right out the door. Do not get caught up in what you did not learn. Remember the best schooling is when the kids had fun in school. If they learned something that day, you did well. Before long your little ones will be able to handle more time away from you and you will be able to spend more time in instruction. Have review days. On review days I made work packs. I would take their work books and tear out at least three pages from each. 3 math 3 grammar etc…and that is school for the day. This way I can spend the whole day with the little ones. If you are in it for the long haul, you will, eventually, catch up. I hope you find this helpful and encouraging. Lisa
I agree with all of the other posts above. I will add one thing that I do with my DD5. I have a reward jar that she gets to put one marble in for every subject that we do for the day, but the part that really works for my daughter is if she missbehaves or gives me a hard time she has to take marbles out. I hope all of these tips help, and Welcome to homeschooling
Really? Man, my kids at 6 and 7 were terrors...by 8 my two oldest had FINALLY started to settle in a little better. They worked harder to be nicer to their siblings, be helpful, and became more self-motivated. Now I have to worry that it was just those two lol and my other two will be terrors... XD Of course, they do have moments when they dig their heels in, they just seemed fewer and farther between. **** Anyway. Welcome! I second deschooling, hands off stuff. If you live near a state line (or on your next trip), go to the welcome center and gather up ALL of the interesting looking brochures. Take them home and let him pick out field trips that seem interesting to him. I <3 field trips lol. We also integrate our other activites - scouts, soccer, and the like - with homeschooling. Make a project out of those. Good luck!
I'm not a homeschooler, just a teacher. I'm curious: what role to stories play in the homeschooling day in your life? When teaching, I found a good story to look forward to could get even the most recalcitrant non-worker hustling. The story would then be a very active and interactive time, sometimes several times a day. Does that work at all at homeschool?
Just another few suggestion that have really helped us. We're classical homeschoolers and so structured. The school day starts the night before. There's a non-negotiable routine in place for bedtime and bedtime never runs late on a school night. The morning is the same routine everyday. Up, breakfast, chores, work. Granted, this has slipped lately as I'm a month away from giving birth so I have been sleeping in but I just add in free time between breakfast and chores and have the kids get their own breakfast and it's good. Same routine for work every day. Once my kids got used to the routine they were much easier to get to work. That means our work takes priority over everything from errands to phone calls but it's much easier in the long run.
MissPaula, when I was a substitute teacher, I would bring in my Mountain Dulcimer. It was my "ace in the hole". The kids would see a musical instrument case. And they knew it wasn't a guitar by the shape, but they didn't know WHAT it was. Well, if you are good and get all your work done, I will get it out at the end of the day and show you what's in there, and play it. And maybe some of you can try it, too....
