sitting with them to keep focus ~ normal or not

I am finding that my children don't do well left to themselves. I am struggling today because I have had so many things planned. My children are behind in math. I went ahead and got them teaching textbooks thinking it would lighten my load of having to be with them. I am finding that they still need me to sit with them. Especially, when they get to a question they have to figure out. I ask them questions that will direct them to get to the answer. I guess I am wondering if this is normal or am I enabling them?

 

Normal here. Mine don't focus well if left to do it by themselves.

 

It's normal here. If I don't stay very close, they'll get distracted and start doing something else.

 

One of mine can do it for about 15 minutes, then I lose him. I have to at least make my presence known or he will start flipping pencils at the cat. DD10 is better at independent work, usually choosing to work in my bedroom where it's quiet, but still her record is only about 20 minutes.

 

I would say totally normal, especially if they are confused about something and need help.

I don't have to sit right with my boys for everything. I do, however, have to be in the room. As soon as I leave to do something else they think it's play time.

 

Normal

 

I think it's common. How many of us went to public school and remember when the teacher left the room it was like the animal house?

 

Normal for us. One of the things I love about homeschooling is the 1-on-1 attention. To me, it's how kids learn best. It's also how I can gauge his progress. We don't really do tests, so my sitting with him as he works gives me enough information to see what we need to work on or that he knows it well enough to move onto the next thing.

 

That's what I was thinking, too!

We experience the same thing here. My oldest is 15 and she still has trouble working on her own. I have two others to work with so I try to get them all going on something independently, then make the rounds. Of course the youngest one gets most of my time since she's learning to read and is still young. But if I can manage to time it right, I can get the younger one doing copywork, start the middle on SOS, and get my oldest going on whatever she's working with, then make it back to check on the youngest. We then go to work on reading/lang arts. Once finished with that, it's time to check on the middle and older, since they should be ready to move to the next subject.
I do that for the first 3 hours of the day, then little one is done, so it's then going between middle and oldest. I usually then, choose one of them to work with one-on-one while the other one continues to work independently until its their turn.

I cannot keep all three in the same room or at the same table. They laugh and joke too much and they'd never get anything done. Lately though I have been letting my younger and middle sit together for part of the time just to train their concentration. Life isn't quiet so I don't want them to work in total quiet but to learn how to block out unwanted noise.

 

just checking...... I am glad I am not alone in this!

 

its normal. My youngest did it for along time. Now she is on her own. Enjoy it they grow fast and they wouldn't be there.

 

Yep, normal for us as well.

dd will continue to work as long as I'm fairly close by. But ds needs me sitting on top of him (practically ) or he won't focus at all.

I think, also, my kids like confirmation immediately that they have something right or wrong. Kind of annoys me, but otoh at least we catch mistakes before it becomes habit.

 

Yes normal...

 

NORRRRRRRMALLLLLLL yep, ds does better if I am sitting near by.

 

Normal

Depends on personality too....as others have said 20 minutes before something distracts them.

 

I was thinking by the age of 10 and 11 they would be doing this. Last year I didn't have to sit with them for math they always did it on their own. This year I am finding that I have to be right there coaching them along. When ever Math comes out I usually get up to leave and as soon as I get involved in something else they are asking me for help. I guess I just have to change my planning.

 

I just want to say it is good that they can ask for help and that they do. IF they were in class setting the teacher would be there overseeing but the help would be slow in coming. I used to spend so much time at the teacher's desk or with my hand up in math class that my teacher and I scheduled a special hour each week just to work with me. 8th grade algebra was so complicating to me.
My kids know/knew they can/could ask for help but really just having me there was usually enough.

 

I sit and say "next question" about once every 5 seconds. I can read a book, or browse the Internet, but saying "next question" keeps my kids on focus. And if I go and do something else, they lose track. Even in junior high.

For kids in public school, the teachers claim they only give homework that kids can do on their own, but I've never known a 1st or 2nd grader work by themselves. I have, however, known a lot of stressed parents of elementary children when it comes to homework.

I read a parenting book years ago that said children really don't work on their own until about 12, and that has been my experience too.

 

I used to find that my son would do this as well and make his work last 8 hours lol. I found that if I try not to leave but say the lesson part and then give him part of his math sheet to do ( we use Abeka ) and then talk again and then give him the next part to do, it works much better for both of us.

Example:

Lesson from Me: blah blah blah
Directions from me: Ok take 5 minutes and work through section one while I wash the glasses. I then wash the glasses and he happily works on his section.
Lesson from me: I do one practice problem to review from the next section.
Directions from me: do the next section while I wash the silverware etc.


I think this works for him because it breaks it down and he doesn't feel over whelmed. I have found taking the time and doing it this way instead of continuously sending him back to the paper actually saves sooo much time. We now get the math and the dishes done in half the time!

 

Sometimes I sit with them depending on the subject. Most of their work isn't independent though (maybe 1/4 of their school day) and a portion of the independent work is computer related. If it is something that I know they can do without help I will let them know that it is okay if they don't finish the work right now - they can finish it later during their video game time. They do have to have some independent time because I'm schooling two right now and each needs some one-on-one time. When I add a third child to the mix the older child will need to be more independent.