My kids have been told many, many times by friends and kids they don't even know, as well as adults, that homeschool is not real school. Really??!! Even I have been told to send them to school by other adults. I get so angry inside! I don't even know what to say to these people! I just reasure the kids that our school is very real. How do I explain this to them, or to adults for that matter. My kids are ages 8, 7, and 5. My kids feel really sad when their friends say things like this, and I don't know what to tell them to say back. Anyone else have this problem? I'm so tired of this!
This is one of those things I would probably let go. Or maybe say something like, "Yeah, not a real school but definitely a real education," and then smile. They could take that as they wished. To your kids I'd probably say something like, "They're right, it's not a real school. It's better. " And then we'd have a discussion about all the stuff they get to do that kids who go to "real" school don't.
My neice, 6, actually said this a few days ago. I don't take it personally because she's so young, but also because she has NO IDEA how hard the kids and I actually work. LOL the kids and I have even been known to say ps is 'real' school, but I think we just mean all the garbage that goes along with the expected method of schooling- none of us really means that we don't work hard or that they don't learn. If real school equals one-size-education that left my daughter helpless and hopeless, left my son unchallenged, bullying for both, an institution that thinks it can dictate to me what good parenting is (and which assumes we are clueless otherwise), etc etc etc then I'll take our 'fantasy' alternative school which will turn out educated, interesting, calm adults capable of thinking outside the box. =P
My oldest used to deal with this with a friend of hers when we lived in AZ. She was younger than my DD but was doing Kindergarten. One day she came over for a play date and was talking to my daughter about what she had done in school that day - and that my daughter wouldn't know about it b/c she didn't go to school - she had taken an alphabet test and was talking about how she'd done so well, etc. My daughter - mind you had just turned 6 at the time said - "Oh, wow....you're still learning the alphabet? Hmmm I read a book today, want me to read it to you?". LOL Your child's school is more learning than they get in "real school". Continue to give them words they can say in response. Sorry that you're dealing with it so much.
Im trying to teach ds4 that public school and homeschool are just different, but it comes down to learning the same stuff, we just do it differently than they do. I also point out that there are more kids than just him who do it. We belong to a homeschool group, so I refer to those kids in these types of conversations. I let him know it doesn't matter what people think, we are doing all we need to do and we have to take it seriously.
If anyone were ever to get rude about homeschooling to me (which hasn't happened yet), I would tell them that I meet all legal requirements to educate my child at home. So, according to [insert your state here], we are a real school.
If "real" school means traveling in lockstep with a group, waiting for 15-20 other people to finish a task (or trying desperately to keep up with them), not being able to answer nature's call when it occurs, waiting in line to use the restroom (finally), waiting in line for a drink of water (if you're allowed, and then being timed so every get a "fair" turn), waiting in line to eat, stopping eating (even if you aren't finished) because time is up, having to do developmentally inappropriate work to prepare for a test, repeating content one has grasped because the majority of the class haven't, not repeating work because the majority of the class has grasped it, even though one may be completely at sea... If all that means "real school," well, yes, mine are missing out on that. Instead, they're getting a solid education in 1/3-1/2 the time, and for MUCH less of a cost than what the public schools spend (in terms of resources as well as financially). So, yes, they don't know what "real school" is. Am I supposed to apologize for my children having some sort of advantage?
I would say something like that to anyone who said this. Please dd does more work than 1/2 her freinds and gets to go on more field trips and fun classes.
My kids had to go through that too, they would come home from kids church even and ask why they don't go to a "real school" I explained ours is a PRIVATE SCHOOL.. that helped my kids. I shut up the parents and other adults with that one too. I said sure it is, we are a private in home school. that is what home school is after all, some are very private hahah! But I like what my ds2 said the best-- he told someone " no, I don't go to school" you should have seen the blank face hahah! He just said it straight and everything, then turned to smile at me. This is the same child who said " Cause when you home school the learning never ends...."
Re: homeschool is not real school My kids got the same comments from ps friends for years, and then they all started taking the ACT to qualify for Louisiana's TOPS Scholarship program. Needless to say, all of those friends were floored when my kids easily out scored them. My kids quailfied on their first attempt, while most of those friends have not made a quailfying score after taking the test 3 or 4 times. My daughter used to be really bothered by all of the comments from these friends, but now they all make comments like..."I wish I was homeschooled too!" So hang in there, it will get better.
We went through this, too. It's very upsetting. Once a "friend's" mom told me that her daughter (same age as mine) would be willing to tutor Ashley since Ashley "doesn't go to school". And she said it with a fake concern in her voice. First of all, she's assuming Ashley NEEDS her help at all, and second, it's a terrible insult to insinuate that we, her parents, are too dumb to teach her ourselves. Grrr..... Yeah, and she kept pulling stuff like that, so we cut off our association with them. The only advice I can give is that, as the years have past (we're in our 11th year), people get used to it, they see the positive results, and they just drop the snide remarks. That's what's happened for us now.
This reminds me of my oldest telling one adult who was questioning her about homeschooling. She said 'I'm always at school and my mom is my TEACHER! She requires alot of me. Then, if I act up, my dad comes home from work and I have to do my assignments sitting next to him at his office. It's worse than going to the principal!'
When kids say things like that, they didn't pull it out of thin air. They got the idea/thought from an adult in their life. Depending on the situaiton and the level of hurt, I may gently "confront" the adult and explain to them how it is hurtful to homeschooled children to make such false statements.
That's exactly where my oldest is right now! And it feels SO GOOD to know that her education is superior to many (most?) of her public-schooled friends! And it's not ME saying that, but the ACT scores!
Wow I have never heard anyone say such a blantantly ignorant thing before and I am sorry anyone has had this said to them. Take heart in knowing homeschool is giving them the education they need. Tell your kids that people will say all sorts of things out plain ignorance of not knowing better. Then let it go. I like to tell my DS when something someone says bothers him...'water off a ducks back' which means let it go it isn't worth your time. And also I tell the kids when they are frustrated with someone or something to think 'will this matter when I am all grown up. Will I remember it?' A lot of the things we hear in life are meaningless yet we carry them with us as hurts to our emotional well being. Learning to let them go at a young age may help with the kids learning to focus on whats really important in life. God, people whom truly love them, and education to better themselves and their future families lives.
feels good Jackie, I agree, it does feels really good! It felt awesome to be able to rub it into the nose of a retired school teacher who made insinuations for years that my kids would never be able to get into college without a diploma from a public school or from a private catholic school. This woman is the mother-in-law of my husband’s best friend. She was a real pain in my back side for years. Frankly she is a snobby old coot. I know as a catholic Christian, I shouldn’t have enjoyed rubbing her nose in it. I guess I need to go to confession.
