Have you ever rehomed a dog because it just wasn't working out? How do you do so without feeling horribly guilty? (We have a once-here, here-for-life policy normally). I have 2 decent homes willing to take her. It isn't like I'm thinking of bringing her to the shelter. I think she needs a firmer, harsher hand than I am comfortable with. I was raised in a home with a parent who thought nothing of dropping animals off at the humane society. If something died, it was replaced. I don't run that sort of house here at.all. Please no suggestions for better training. I have tried every single thing I could think of. Praise, treats, play-training. I am entirely consistant with her, the rules haven't changed. Neither has her behavior. (well, I taught her to lie down.. only took 2 months of daily training and she'll only do it if I yell at her... arg) At this point I'd just like to get out of this with as few emotional scars for either one of us as possible. Every day I regret taking her. (she is a rescue for us, too. Sending her back is far crueler than sending her on) I hate the idea of animals bouncing from home to home. I think it is incredibly cruel. But I have to be honest here and admit defeat- I can't work with a dog who is stubborn/independent/dumb/something more positive sounding. There is no 'team' with her. And I'm just not the right person for that job- I can't love on a dog who has to be forced to comply with the rules. Am I a horrible person if I give her to someone else (with the understanding that they know exactly what they will be dealing with and the option to give her back if they can't manage either)?
I think you're at a point where it's perfectly acceptable to rehome her. If you've got two options for a loving environment where she'll get the discipline she needs, do it guilt-free.
No guilt at all. I have re-homed a dog or two myself because they just were not in an environment with us for them to thrive (and I was on the edge of becoming an abusive owner ). I commend you for trying your best and recognizing when it is time to find her a better fit. You will feel so much better all the way around once you find the right place and you are all happier.
If it's not working for you then it's not working for the dog. Keep in mind though that if you got her from a shelter, rescue or breeder you're very likely obligated to return the dog to them.
Guilt is us feeling like we failed in some way. But really some dogs are just not our cup of tea as some people aren't. Each one comes with its own personality and baggage. And sometimes that just isn't going to mesh with us. Don't feel bad, feel happy that you are doing what you know in your heart is right. I have rehomed dogs before and I understand your apprehension. Take care.
Thank you guys. The decision isn't 100% made yet. dh is supposed to talk to the kids about it as well. I've bowed out of talking at this point (he felt it wasn't going to work about 2 weeks in). I've shed too many tears about this situation -in guilt, frustration, and sadness. She wags her tail now and acts like a 'normal' dog. At least we gave her that.
You might want to see if you can find a rescue near you that works with dogs that are a challenge. A shelter might be more likely to simply put her down as she may be unadoptable right now. Call around to rescues and explain that she came from a bad home and although you've tried you simply don't have the skills, knowledge or time to properly help her. ETA: I hope that last sentence didn't sound insulting. Working with hard to train dogs is something most of us, me included, don't have the skills, knowledge or time to tackle.
Do not feel guilty for wanting to give the dog a possible better life with somebody who is able to deal with the challenges. This is a good thing, not a bad thing. It is best all the way around. You have a good heart for trying. I have intentionally rehomed many dogs. I find strays or people who know I love animals call and ask if we can take in the dog and find it a home. I work with the dog the best I can and then try to find a home. There have been times that I can't find a home and have had to take it to the shelter. This isn't ideal but at least I tried. That is all you can do.
