One of my 13yo son's friends was over for dinner. I was dishing it out from the stove, and when he came in, he looked around and said, "Wow, your kitchen is cool. I've never seen one that looks like this." Keep in mind, my kitchen is very, very ordinary. It's fairly cluttered, with oils and soap and pop on the counter. Plus there's a ton of spices on the windowsill, because I can rarely be bothered to put them away. But this kid wasn't looking at any of that - he was staring into our cupboard. At the stacked cups and glasses, and assorted coffees and teas. (Yes, I put them all in the same place, because I'm lazy.) Then he says, "It's because you actually cook in your kitchen, isn't it?" :shock: All I could think was, lordy - I don't want to know what his kitchen looks like! Or his pantry. Come to think of it... this might explain why he never actually eats anything I feed him. I gave him a stuffed chicken breast, side salad and some roasted veggies. Most of it went right into the compost (though I saved the chicken for sandwiches later). So now I'm thinking maybe I'm a better cook and housekeeper than I thought. Either that, or I'm not up to the standard of take-out, and my kitchen is a ton messier than his and he was just being polite. :lol:
Hey! If a messy kitchen is the sign of good food, I'm the world's greatest cook, lol!!! But it's sad to think this child never gets any real, home-cooked food.
I remember once moaning about the state of my house and my friend said, "It's because you live here." My reply - "Doesn't everyone live in their homes?" But she explained no, most people sleep, eat breakfast and dinner and then vacate their homes all day. Myself and my children actually do our LIVING in our house, so it stands to reason it will look more lived in than a house where mom and dad work and kids are at school all day. That made me feel a lot better.
You know, just as I was reading this, one of my cats starting knocking stuff off a far-too-cluttered table and I was thinking, "What a mess!". Your post made me feel better, too! :lol: We DO live in our home, even though our kids are now done homeschooling and have gone off to public highschool for the day. I'm still here, and my mother-in-law is here most of the year, and we have friends who camp out with out for long stretches of time, and my kids' friends hang out here, too. Our house is in a constant state of repair/disarray, and it's never empty. Of course, it doesn't help that I'd rather paint pictures on the walls, than properly Flylady the place.
His dad's a single parent. It's a cliche, but I don't think he cooks or keeps house. My son once tried to take his own bedding over during a sleepover, because he said their sheets weren't clean. However, he's a good man and he's raised a really nice, polite boy, and that's what matters most, I think! I don't feel sorry for the boy, because I know he's loved and treated kindly. Which is unfortunately more than I've seen in some other families, despite immaculate homes and hot meals on the table every night.
My dss' were that way, too. My dh's idea of a good meals were hotdogs, frozen pizza and chicken nuggets five nights a week. Fortunately, they ate at least twice a week at Grandma's! Yes, the relationship is more important. Perhaps I misspoke.
I've come to the conclusion that you can do some things really well, but not everything. You may be jealous of your friend who cooks meals from scratch, but her house may be messy. I've seen a number of homeschool parents produce awesome kids, but not look after themselves. The problem is that we try and do everything really well, and we just can't. The key is a happy medium. Personally, I'd love to cook meals from scratch, but I buy a lot of ready meals from Costco. I'd love to do my own garden, but I don't have the time, I pay someone to do it. Homeschooling and family relationships come first, time for me is pretty high on my list. And maybe sometime in the future I'll do more cooking, cleaning, and gardening. When my children were little, hubby worked long hours with many business trips. I learned to use babysitters when I had no extended family. I just learned that *I* can't do it all, even if I want to. You have to get balance, otherwise you start resenting your children and feeling trapped.
Very, very true! I'm having one of those crazy weeks myself, where I just can't figure out how to fit it all in.
I once did a cross-stitch that said "Creative minds are rarely tidy". That became my motto VERY quickly, lol!
