So as you may remember, my family and I are planning to begin HS after the end of this academic year. I have been debating the merits of removing them from this year and have not gotten a clear answer from God or myself. So to this point I have been letting things ride as they are for now. Today we got report cards. Let me say that I am not a report card person. Both of my older daughters have learning differences. ODD is dyslexic. And my sweet 9 year old has some fairly severe learning "issues." Her IEP is extensive, she has memory and processing issues, she gets anxious with tests and the component of the brain that cares for organization (it's the middle of the night so I can't remember all of the technical terms right now) is not working up to the "expected" level. All of this to say that she is a very different and special learner. That said, she is sweet, sincere, caring and very determined. She tries her hardest and loves to learn. To this point she has done really well in math. Since reading is so difficult and slow in progressing it has been a real blessing for her to have this strength to bolster her self esteem. Well there are some new concepts they have been working on in math and she hasn't quite gotten them down yet. Additionally, a lot of focus is put on having the math facts memorized. Well, she has memory issues and despite all the trying in the world she has been unable to commit them to rote memory. So on her report card her math grade went down a half a mark since last quarter. She started crying and sobbing and telling me that if she isn't good at math then she doen't know what she is good at and she won't be able to get into Yale and get a good job (her plan not mine.) And to top it off her teacher wrote that she needs to try harder. She might as well have punched my baby girl in the stomach because I thought she was going to just cry all night. If she didn't have homeschooling to look forward to she just might have. Her work looks sloppy but it is because of her organizational issues. I tried to get her into OT for it but she doesn't qualify. Ugh. I am just so torn up. She asked if we can start homeschooling now instead of the year. ODD wants to finish out this year and then start HS. DH is supportive of whatever works. I HATE the idea of sending my little girl off to feel badly in school tomorrow. Someone please tell me that I am not overreacting. Or tell me if I am. :?
I do not think you are overreacting at all. It actually might be good for you to pull one earlier than the other. This way it will give you time to adjust and get into a routine on how your dd need to work. Even if you do not have a full curriculum at the moment at this age you can print off alot of worksheets and get books from the library. I would suggest going really slow at first to allow her to get comfortable and find out what works for her.
You ARE NOT overreacting!!! I can understand her going down a bit; that happens. I have the same issue with my son at times and he IS homeschooled! But telling her she needs to "try harder" is the biggest crock of bull there is!!! As a mom, YOU know when a kid is trying and when she isn't. A teacher, with 25-30 kids in her classroom can't see that. And a comment like that can be devistating. I taught special needs. I had a girl who did terribly on her test, and she was quite upset. At that time, we were requred to have rules posted on the wall. My first rule was "Do your best work" I asked her if she had done her best. YES!!! Fine. Then you have followed my rule, and I can't ask for more than that. Obviously, you are still having trouble. That tells me that *I* have done a poor job helping you understand, and that *I* need to work harder at finding a way to help you understand better. Suddenly, the responsibility was off of her, and onto me. And it made a difference in her attitude. I would seriously consider pulling her now. If the other is fine where she is for the time, you wouldn't have to pull them both. But I wouldn't make her stay when the teacher doesn't understand the time and effort she puts into her work. If she gets to the place where she feels she's "no good", she might just give up altogether.
I will echo what's already been said. There are advantages to pulling one out before you have both at home AND it seems that it would probably do more harm than good to keep her in ps till the end of the year. Like Jackie said, she will be pushed far enough to give up.
As far as the memorization goes, does she do well when they are sung? You can get DVDs with math facts that are being sung, some they actually do exercises with. That way, if your child is a kinesthetic learner (learns through physical action) it would help her memorize her facts.
We've pulled out mid-year before with absolutely no regrets. If anything, each day at home is a reminder of how much of a blessing it is to your child to be with you instead of away. Even without the emotional stress, academically, she would only be getting "farther behind" in the mind of the school to leave her there the rest of the year. Hugs to you and your dd.
Oh, Jackie! This brought tears to my eyes. Can you imagine how much different PS would be if more teachers had this attitude?
Me too, I would take her home now and let the other finish off. Two reasons-- 1) she would be able to have one on one teaching by you, someone who understands where she is and where she can be. 2) you will not be overwhelmed by two lessons at once your first few months. It is a win win situation! Give her a big hug for me!
The system does not take into consideration the damage their grading system has on the self-esteem. The grading system does not take the individual into account. It labels children as slow, behind, below average if they do not meet the bar. WOW! I believe that most children are not slow, behind, or below average. The children are not failing us, we are failing them. The system has taken thousands of children and expected them to perform at the same level. They are attempting to produce robots and forgetting about each child's individual need. So I agree, take your child out now. If she was trying her best, then the school is crushing her spirit.
I cannot echo enough what the others are saying. It's almost the end of the day here so I am hoping and praying that you took her out and are on your way to homeschooling her. She will thrive in her home environment especially since you are her teacher. Giving her this one on one time is exactly what she needs right now to boost her self esteem. Good luck on this new journey for you and your family. p.s. completely off topic....love the new profile pic Brooke!
I completely agree with the other ladies on this one. We pulled our older daughter out mid-year as her spirit was being crushed in PS. I am glad that we pulled out one before the other because it certainly gave me that learning curve we both needed to adjust and work with one another. You are NOT overreacting to the situation on any level. That sweet babe needs to be home with you where she can recover her sense of worth. Good luck with any decision
I absolutely agree with all of the other moms who have encouraged you to take your dd out now. There is no point in continuing to send her to ps so she can be made to feel like a failure, bring her home where you can give her one-on-one instruction and loving encouragement. :love: My daughter does wonderfully in every subject but math, there, she struggles. When she gets discouraged about it I remind her of what she HAS learned, how far she HAS come, I show her the improvements she is making and remind her that she has 7 years before she has to worry about those college exams! :wink: I left my older daughter in the public school system way too long, and her self-esteem suffered. I wish with all my heart I had pulled her out the first time I considered it rather than leaving her there to suffer each day. The last month of school she literally cried every day, looking back, I can't believe I waited till the end of the year. For what? I don't even know.
My friend has pulled her sixth-grade son out of public this week, and I'm going to do some placement testing with him today so she'll know where to start with him! He's excited not to have to go back! This poor baby has so many "issues" it's unreal - a whole "alphabet soup" (ADHD, OCD, ODD, bi-polar, I don't even know what-all. And to top it all off, he has these warts they can't seem to get rid of - on his nose! He's so tired of being told, "Get the boogers off your nose, retard!")
Thank you all for the support and reassurance. I need it. She is still in school but not because I want her to be. I am remarried now but I am divorced from her father and he does not know about our plans to HS. He has no say since I have sole legal and physical custody but he can still pitch a fit about it. We are going to court soon so I need to wait until after our court date to pull her out. I received some icing on this terrible cake today though. DD came home from school and I was going through her papers and she had a worksheet that they did in class with their spelling words. DD got an 80! I was very happy since all of her spelling tests are about 50 to 60s. Guess what the teacher wrote on the paper. No smiley face, no 'good job' nothing positive. Just 'study.' I want to scream!!!
Take her out. It will work out. As someone else said there are advantages to schooling one before you take on both I found with doing it that way it gave me time to evalutate where one was and establishing some working 'class rules' before the other child entered the homeschool picture.
When you follow God's will rather than resisting and telling Him "hang on, I will after I do this... oh wait, and after I do that.." it becomes difficult. Just a thought. If you feel led to pull her out because God is whispering that in your ear, pull her out. God is big enough to handle the fallout for you.
