We have three beautiful daughters ages 11, 9 and 3. The youngest turns 4 on Tuesday. I am so sad that we don't have any babies anymore. I am just yearning for a baby. My husband really doesn't want more and I have learned to accept that and be happy. Well, as the birthday of my youngest approaches I am so sad. Like, tearing up and almost crying! I really want another baby. But do I really or am I just listening to some hormone or whatever? Either way- my husband does not want a baby. I just can't seem to get past this. Intellectually I know that I need to honor my husband and follow his lead. But the idea of this being it is killing me. Input? Please.
Yes! I feel the same way. My hubby had a vasectomy when the twins where just 13 days old. I regret that decision. No changing it now.
I don't have any real advice...just ((hugs)). I have 3 myself and although I am not feeling the twangs of having another baby, I am going through other changes that I wish I wasn't. Hang in there. Maybe your husband will change his mind. In any case, pray for peace and understanding.
I have 3 boys, the youngest turning 5 this year. I know what you mean about feeling kind of sad that my baby is growing up. I also really yearn for another child. I look at babies in stores, and just wish wish wish that I could have one more. We really looked into having another child or even adopting, since we really wanted a little girl. I even posted on here once, about adoption and foster care. But I suppose it was not meant to be, or at least not right now. A lot of things happened since then, most prominently my FIL terminal illness. We've accepted that we are not meant to have another child right now, but I still catch myself wanting another baby. I think it might just be, in my case at least, simply the fact that my youngest is moving out of babyhood, and after years of being needed by my little ones, my role is being diminished, in that respect. Does that make sense? It also means that I am moving onto the next phase in my life, from young mother to mother of tweens and teens...scary in itself HUgs!
I've been there too. We have 4-3 girls and a boy and I have a longing in my heart for another little girl. My DH has made it clear that he does not want any more, so we chose for him to have a vasectomy a few years ago. I have just left it up to God that if He has a plan for us to have another child, He will work it out and if not, I'll be okay with that. It has taken a while, but I'm at the point where I can finally walk past the baby section in the store and not get that feeling of wanting another one.
Yep.. My youngest is 8.. I know what you are feeling.. I had a tubal after she was born so no babies for us.. Kinda makes me sad, but at the same time none of them will ever stay babies. They will always grow up. Enjoy your littles because before you know it they are teenagers! The years fly by faster than you ever thought they would. I have 3 more years before my oldest is out on his own and those years are going to be gone before I know it.. Sorta in the scrambling stage now trying to make sure he knows all he needs to get by..
When my aunt went through this after her youngest reached a certain milestone, her husband told her, "you don't want another baby, you just want the ones we have to stay little. You are grieving for the passage of time. Having another baby will not change that, only delay it." She learned to accept that she was never going to feel "done". No matter how many babies she had, she was never going to feel finished having babies. I do the same thing on occasion and have to remind myself that milestones do this to me. My youngest will do something for the first time and I'll think, wow, that's the last first time I'll ever witness. Make sense? lol
I felt that way, too, when my youngest was about 5. But I'd had some serious hormonal issues after the third birth, and there was a good chance that I wouldn't live through another pregnancy, so we stopped there. Fast forward to when they were teenagers. I had some other health problems, our oldest was ADHD and we didn't know it but it added another dimension to teaching, and he had some rebellion issues (it happens even in homeschooling families). I was SO thankful then that the Lord had given us three and no more. So trust in the Lord, and focus on the great things you can do with the three you have. You'll have more and more freedom as they get older--just being able to go to the library without having to carry a purse, a diaper bag, a baby, and books to return was a great thing for me! Children are so interesting as they grow up and develop, too, and new worlds of possibility open up as we are freed from nursing and nap schedules, diapers, etc. Grieve what you need to grieve, and then move on. Adventure awaits!
I ma totally going through the same thing that you are. My oldest is turning 5 in July and my youngest is 16 months, and I want another baby so bad I can't stand it either. DH says that he wants one when Marion turns 4, but I honestly can't wait that long!! IMO, I think women are very intouch with their bodies, and our bodies right now are telling us that we are ready for a baby, but our husband's are not. Men are very different from us. They need more time. I had even proposed adoption, but that was a no too. I don't think I'm grieving for the passage of time, but I think it's different for every woman. We just kinda have to grieve every once in awhile, and maybe one day the time will come for us to have another baby. I ma giving you (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) right now, and I want to let you know that I ma tearing up with you right now!! :*(
We play the game a little differently than most. And i dont necessarily know if this will be inspirational, but plz nobody take offense to this. We (as a couple) are completely pro-life. So we use a sympto-thermal method of charting. Typically we're not really "in the mood" (during fertile time) or if we are kinda in the mood, we just don't have a particular yearning for another baby. So its typically pretty easy to pass on those instances. Plus its healthy to make those sacrifices here and there. But in the times that I'm fertile, and the "mood" is a little more overwhelming, we'll take the extra time to prayerfully consider not if we want another baby, but if there is a good reason that we shouldn't have another baby. And typically the answer is no. So we go for it! Sometimes you'll make a baby and sometimes you wont. We've made 3 since 2006 going this route, and I can say with confidence that Ill never say we're done until the eggs are gone. And I'm sure Ill still be sad at that time, but at least I'll know that my time is done by nature, and not by my own choices. This may not be the route for you, and i realize ur not the one im preaching to, its ur hubby. But I would recommend praying that he be more open to life. Babies are always a blessing. And yes, I feel that you both have to be on board with having one...so no tricks to get one or anything...but without knowing what means you're using to prevent it, if it is one that takes away your fertility, I think you have have the say in whether or not to continue with it.
I just had one of those moments a week or so ago. DS6 lost his top front teeth. Dd8's were still holding on a couple of weeks later, but were very lose. DH decided it was time to pull them. She's so cute with her missing teeth, but it sure was hard for me to let him pull them knowing that's the last time we'll have that experience. :cry: Making me tear up again just to think about it.
I have been dealing with these feelings for a very long time. My baby turned 15 on the the 14th of March. I had my tubes tied after having her and quickly regretted it like when she was a few weeks old. I have four earth side children and one in heaven. I always feel like someone is missing. I went through a bad baby fever stage a few years ago. I'm getting over it now. Some days are harder than most still but I'm learning to enjoy my teenagers and my freedom that having a baby demands of me. I always reflect on the words that Solomon wrote in Proverbs 30:15-16 "There are three things that are never satisfied, four that never say, 'Enough!': the grave, the barren womb, land, which is never satisfied with water, and fire, which never says 'Enough!'. When I'm feeling like I have to have another child I think of this scripture and tell myself, "I could have ten more children and still feel this way." I pray everyone can get through these feelings. Your not alone.
I have 3. My youngest is 14 months. They are such a joy to me! When I had baby #3 I knew I wasn't finished, but my husband insisted he was. In fact, there were a couple of times when he would "joke" about having a 4th and I would respond in a serious manner. He would get a sour look on his face and not say anything. This hurt me and often caused me to tear up... I was hoping and praying he would change his mind (in my heart I knew he would)! Anyway, a couple months later, he came to me and asked, very seriously, if I truly wanted another baby someday. The answer is YES! He agreed that in his heart, he would like to have another. So I'm offering this as encouragement, God can change your husbands heart! Mind you, I'm now wondering if I even want a 4th. I certainly don't have baby fever right now, it comes in waves. Our life is very full, and very busy, and feeling very complete right now. I think this is God's way of helping us avoid pregnancy right now, as we're in no position to have another baby. Only problem is, I'd want our 4th to also be 2-2.5 year gap like my 3 are apart, so we would have to get pregnant by December. I'm not so sure about that.
