unmotivated..........

Discussion in 'Homeschooling' started by mommix3, May 1, 2012.

  1. mommix3

    mommix3 Active Member

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    Yes, another post about unmotivation from me.. Just wondering HOW you get a highschooler to be motivated.. He says he doesn't want to go to college so sees no point in the work.. As soon as he starts getting challenged in a subject he shuts down.. Language arts and math are kicking us in the butt right now cuz he just doesn't want to try.. I'm so irritated and have NO clue what to do..
     
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  3. Brooke

    Brooke New Member

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    What are his future plans? Remaining idle is not an option, so regardless if he is college bound or not, he needs to understand that a high school education is one stop on the road map of his life. Maybe he won't need algebra for his career path--so what kind of math does he need? Consumer math, maybe?

    If he doesn't have any future goals, then I'd start there. However, if algebra is one of your requirements for graduating, then he needs to understand that he will continue to be subject to your rules until he completes your requirements and can get on with his life. ;)
     
  4. mommix3

    mommix3 Active Member

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    YES!! You hit the nail right on the head.. he has NO clue what he's going to do in the future.. Was thinking military last time we talked about future plans but not so sure now.. And Algebra is a requirement.. i would like him to get some geo in as well but I don't know.. I'm about to break out the board and beat his butt.. i'm SO sick of his complacency! Don't know what else to do.. He has been grounded from everything and he is a VERY social kid. Always going and doing stuff so you would think the grounding would work but NOPE.. STUBBORN!!!
     
  5. mom_2_3

    mom_2_3 Active Member

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    I agree with Brooke. It depends on your state's requirements. If it requires 2 years of any math, then pursue something other than algebra (consumer, accounting or basic). Language Arts/English can be more flexible. Concentrate on English Literature or American Poets maybe? Try allowing him to watch the movie version and maybe select key sections for him to read from the actual book. Discussions with him can be a good substitute for answering a lot of questions. I do that with my 15 year old dd. You can have quite a few lively discussions and it sticks in their heads better.

    I would really try to allow him to choose as much as possible. He may be a very hands on type of person and tons of writing and endless reading just drives him crazy. Yes, reading and writing is important. Don't cut it out completely but just add in a few different things to keep it interesting.

    Another option is keeping it practical. If he doesn't see the purpose of what he's doing, its really hard to keep him motivated. My dd is like that, too. How about career studies? My dd is in a charter school this year and they require a semester of career studies. I think AOP has something like that with LifePac or Monarch. Or you could see what they cover and plan your own.

    Of course, all this just depends on what you're required to do from the state.
     
  6. Jackie

    Jackie Active Member

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    Great. This may sound drastic, but.... Since he doesn't want to do school, tell him he needs to get a job. Maybe tell him that, since he's decided he doesn't want to go the "school route", he can get a job and start paying for stuff. How much is rent? How much is food? Car and isurance? Does he REALLY want to flip burgers for the rest of his life? He can't even be a manager in a place like that without a minimum of a high school diploma.
     
  7. mschickie

    mschickie Active Member

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    I was going to say this too. If he does not want to do the work you assign then he needs to get a job. You may even find some local businesses that require high school students to maintain particular grades inorder to keep working there. I would also stop any support besides food, shelter and clothing..no car/gas unless going to work, no money for things with friends, not tv/video games/anything that requires use of your electricity. Sometimes you just need a little tough love to get them motivated.
     
  8. Amethyst

    Amethyst New Member

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    Are community college classes an option? Having to answer to someone else and be around peers may motivate him.
     
  9. mommix3

    mommix3 Active Member

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    The last two days I have MADE my son push farther than he wanted to.. Rather than quitting because I didn't want to "overload" him we pushed through the difficult stuff and worked on it together. Yesterday he was irritated but today he was more compliant and hopefully each day he will realize more and more that I am only doing this for his good. I blew up yesterday and told him that just because it gets hard doesn't mean you give up. And that in life the hard stuff is the stuff you learn the most from.. And it's true.. I just really hope he is getting this.. My other kids are struggling too with not wanting to push themselves so I KNOW it's something that I have allowed and I am trying to give it my all and treat school as my way of praising God by giving my all in it.. I have been unmotivated myself so of course my kids are going to follow my lead.. Lazy, Sluggish ways are no longer an option for ANY of us!!!
     
  10. NYCitymomx3

    NYCitymomx3 Member

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    If I were you, I would tell him he at least has to get his GED in a few years because he'll never get a good job without an least proof of finishing high school. Get him to see the value in it and turn it into his decision. Then leave the rest up to him. Get him a GED prep book and either work with it together a few days a week or tell him to go through it himself and that you're there if he needs help. Then check what he's done very week. When that book is done, get a different one to use next year. He'll have a guideline to follow, be able to do it mostly independently (tell him to save some websites like Khan Academy & Daily Grammar Lessons). Get immersed in the upcoming presidential election together. Have him create a budget for you, balancing your expenses. What seems to be effective for my kids is doing work that is relevant and useful for them in their lives. :)
     
  11. Meg2006

    Meg2006 New Member

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    EXACTLYI DID go to college, but I never needed all of those algabraic formulas. It served me no purpose and it still doesn't. Teach him math that he will need to know, like checkbook balancing math, and emphasize Money, and fractions! These are some of the things I dind't learn well in school, but I use everyday!
     
  12. Munchie33

    Munchie33 New Member

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    There is a lot of good advice here. As has been said, basically, he needs to work out where he wants to go with his life. It sounds like he is willing to close doors but isn't thinking about opening any. If he has a definite goal in mind, you can start working out how to get there and what he'll need, but if not, then he needs to finish high school so he can actually get a job and doesn't regret his teenage laziness.

    But this sounds more like laziness than any real argument against college. I'd be extra strict with him until he lifts his game. No computer games, etc. etc. until he can demonstrate that he is able to work properly. Because the last thing you or he want is for him to realise in a few years what he really wants to do, but it is closed to him because he spent time playing Xbox instead of doing half an hour of algebra. Kids aren't good at thinking long-term. Luckily for him, you are. Good luck!
     
  13. scottiegazelle

    scottiegazelle New Member

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    Tell him that as soon as he can come up with an idea of what he wants to study - either professionally or something that interests him - the two of you together can determine how to do so in a way to meet his educational needs. If he doesn't want to pick a career, he could perhaps select a large project (building a rocket, rebuilding a classic car, designing and creating a wardrobe, idk), and you guys can determine how the subjects he needs to learn can be tailored to that.

    I'm also a huge small biz person, so...instead of getting a job, you could challenge him to start his own business. Then he would *need* to learn math in the form of accounting, etc, plus various other details as they relate. (Have him read "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" and "Who Moved My Cheese?"; they're both easy reads, my 10yo has already read both, and might help him with motivation. "The QBQ" is another good one on responsibility.)
     
  14. Koko Academy

    Koko Academy New Member

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    I am wondering if you could have him job shadow people at work for a few days. People in the neigborhood, friends of yours, or sign up for an internship. He could get some hands on experience, and also see the kind of things people do in the "real world". I know my younger brother did an internship when he was in high school with our local tv channel. He had an interest in weather, but wasn't sure where to go from there. He got to intern with the local weatherman who took him under his wing. Needless to say, my brother graduated from college with a degree in Meteorology. And is now back at school working on an advanced degree. Maybe that will help your son get an idea of what he would like to do.
     
  15. mommix3

    mommix3 Active Member

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    Thanks guys!! I agree that it is laziness.. This kid tries me to no end..It seems to be getting better so I'm gonna stick to what I've been doing.. Basically just pushing him harder and encouraging him to keep going even when he feels like giving up....
     

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