I need help/advise...to vent! DD11 is very strong in math and sciences and loves logic. In fact, her favorite subjects are logic and geometry. I've taken her to robotics workshops at some of our local universities, and we spend an inordinate amount of time in science-focused activities at an arboretum and science museums. BUT, she wants to go into fashion design. Really?? I hold my tongue every time she mentions it, and I've even allowed her to take a jewelry and accessories design class for the past 5 months. DD's jewelry design instructor is holding a 3-week fashion intensive this summer that DD is dying to take. I cringed. We compromised. She is taking the 3-week fashion workshop, but is also enrolled in a 1-week girls' math program at a local university. DD dreams of enrolling at Parsons, Pratt or FIT for college. I'm trying to steer her to Cornell or Drexel which both have fashion components as well as rigorous academics. Am I being unreasonable? Should I let her pursue her interest in fashion without pushing her in another direction? She attends a homeschool sewing club, a Girl Scouts fashion interest patrol, and is constantly sewing at home. She also loves art history classes at our local museum. I'm not sure this is a passing fancy. I am really torn. On the one hand I keep telling myself that DD should be given free license to really develop her sewing and design skills. After all, isn't this why we homeschool--to allow our children to develop and explore their passions? On the other hand--fashion design, really??? It seems so superficial to me. But maybe God has a plan for her that I just cannot see. I am really struggling. Any advise, suggestions, help would be so greatly appreciated!!!
Take a deep breath. The Bible tells us to "Raise up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." That does not mean that we have to decide what they're going to do for a living! Let her get it out of her system, or let her make a career out of it. (Either she'll pick something new, or we'll be seeing her on Fashion Star or Project Runway in about ten years...) If you don't, it will be a bone of contention with the two of you forever. I think it's an excellent compromise - 3 weeks of fashion camp, and 1 week of math camp. Girls Scouts have lots of opportunities to do lots of different things -- maybe she'll tire of the fashion thing and go for something else after awhile. She's 11! Teenagers change their minds constantly! And there's still plenty of time for her to suddenly develop a passion for math/sci before she graduates. Or history/geography. Or Chinese literature! Help her work on developing her character, moral/ethical/spiritual identity, being a good person. Let her pick what she'll do for a living.
THAT right there is cruxt of the matter (oh goodness, how do you SPELL THAT!). Put it this way, if you don't let her pursue these things she'll always "wonder". Believe it or not, it's okay to be really great at something and NOT do it as your career. And while Fashion Design seems superficial to you....could it be used in ministry? Could she teach and train a generation of girls in a 3rd world country a trade that would raise them out of poverty? Could she become a person who designs and creates fashions that are affordable instead of overpriced. Could she use her training there to glorify Him in some way??? Absolutely. ALSO....she's 11....not many people actually do the job they wanted to do when they were 11. Things change, passions change, goals change. (((HUGS))) She is a GREAT KID (this I know....because I KNOW her!!!), and she is going to be an amazing success NO MATTER what track she takes in life!!!!
I agree, as hard as it may be, you need to let her persue her interests. They are not immoral or illegal, so you're lucky there. And yes, that is a reason we home school.
I agree. She will be much happier if you let her follow her interests. Something that we often forget is that just because a person has a talent does not mean that their career should be focussed on that talent! DH loves astronomy, and it is a hobby that he still adores. But it's a hobby, not his career. As long as your daughter has some sort of back up (e.g. she isn't dropping out of school to do fashion design with nothing to fall back on if she changes her mind) then she's fine.
Fashion design makes a lot of sense for a girl who enjoys geometry and is age 11. I'd let her go with it. In her school hours I might introduce other areas of design to see if she takes to them too (i.e. graphic design, architecture, engineering, art). ETA: I might also consider her exposure to popular culture. Pop culture gives girls messages against things like science and math.
My oldest son, age 22, is a brilliantly talented writer. He's been writing short stories since he was little and has always had a passion for it.He has had several pieces published in local papers. He constantly has some book project going and has taken several journalism and writing classes. You know what he does for a living? He works at a golf course. Yeah, he's a cart boy. This kid could be the next James Patterson, and he drives golf carts around all day. He loves it, and people say he is the best cart boy in two counties. This makes me crazy, but he's happy! He's had opportunities to minister to others that he would never have had sitting in front a computer. This is where God wants him, and I have to let go of what I wanted him to do.
I agree with let her pursue it. Seriously, what harm would it do? Would it be bad if she were to grow up and be a fashion designer? Would you rather her grow up and be happy being what SHE wants to be or be miserable being what YOU want her to be? (That's might sound harsher over the internet than I intend it to!) I agree to an extent, fashion design CAN be very superficial. BUT, the right person can use any job, no matter how small or insignificant it seems to us, to do great things. Also, maybe she will grow up to be an accountant or work for NASA and just have her own Etsy shop selling her own handmade items she designed herself on the side. Or maybe she'll be a work-at-home-homeschooling-mom with her own Etsy shop, and maybe, one day 20 years from now, her husband will get laid off and that little shop where she sells her own fashions will be what will put food in your grandchildrens' mouths. If it's not illegal or immoral, then it's not bad in and of itself. It can be used for good and we have no idea what God's plans are for our futures.
I agree, let her go for it! Sounds like she's a genius, and will do well no matter what. Who knows what she will decide to do when she's older. Try not to worry about it for now.
I'm a tshirts and jeans kinda girl, was a tomboy through high school, and I have no sense of fashion - but I honestly don't see what the problem is with wanting to be a fashion designer? *any* job can be superficial, tbh. But then...I look at it from the other side, I guess. I'm a science writer, I have a degree in astrophysics, and even my dad keeps telling me how he "expects me to do great things" because I'm seeing all aspects of the science rather than single, specific aspects. I keep telling him that I love my job, I love what I do, it is the *perfect* job for me, and he keeps telling me that he things I will go on to "something better," and this is just a springboard. I don't want to. Mind you, I'm 33, this (most recent) conversation happened only a few weeks ago, and while I can shrug it off, I have to wonder why having a job I love can't be enough for my dad, and he can't just be happy for me? I think, as parents, we all want our kids to do "great things" - but sometimes we can want more than they, particularly, want. Now, granted, your kid is 11 and not a full scale adult, but still.... Besides which, I think there's a dearth of modest fashion designers in the world, so if your daughter was veering that way, it could be a "noble" contribution. But like I said, that's a side aspect. My vote: let her do what makes her happy, rather than trying to fit her into a preconceived plan. <3
"Or maybe she'll be a work-at-home-homeschooling-mom with her own Etsy shop, and maybe, one day 20 years from now, her husband will get laid off and that little shop where she sells her own fashions will be what will put food in your grandchildrens' mouths." I love that!! I did have to smile when I read it. Oh, and Leissa, I also laughed about your son being a cart boy only because my daughter has recently discovered a love for golf, but she says most of the women's golf clothing is ugly so she wears polo shirts she customizes herself to coordinate with skorts and calls herself the Fairway Fashionista! LOL. Thanks everyone for your advise. I guess as a mom it is hard to let go of the reigns sometimes. It's hard to strike the right balance at times, though. I want her to really have a strong academic background, but I know I need to give her time and space to create. I really am going to try harder to be more supportive of the whole fashion design thing.
I was homeschooled through middle school and high school, and my mom let us follow our own interests. My older brother was very intellectual and academic, and I was not. I chose to take elective courses that sounded easy and interesting. I think Fashion Design was one of the courses I took. In the years since, the things that I learned in my fashion design class have actually come in pretty handy. There was quite a bit of information about sewing, and I have been able to use that to make clothes (mostly Halloween costumes) for my children. You would be surprised about the practical things that can be learned in a course like Fashion Design. I think just encourage your children to do what interests them...but also encourage them to try new things too. The most important thing is that they know that you love them.
Had a long discussion with hubby this morning about this very subject: Letting children pursue their own interests. Like the previos poster said, there are a lot of handy things she will learn too. The most important thing is that if she wants to do it, let her try. Hubby was recalling his own past, and how he wanted to be something that his parents thought was too dangerous (police officer). So he did as he was told, and today he is successful at his job, likes what he does and has a great reputation among his colleagues. Thing is, he still wishes he had pursued that path. He said: "I don't know if it would have worked out for me or not, or even if I would have liked it, but now I will never know." You get stuck with a big fat WHAT IF...
she's 11. I look back to who I was at age 11, 13, 17, 20 and now and it is almost like I am a different person. Who would've thought I'd now be milking cows and raising chickens and loving every minute? I was the one who said, "I will NEVER homeschool my kids!!! " Now I'm 9 years into it. She's trying on different personas. As she gets closer to adult hood then she can decide where her passions lie. For now, don't fight it, or it will only be more of an issue.
Golf clothes for women ARE ugly!:lol: "Fairway Fashionista" has tremendous potential as a company name! I love it. It's something that is needed in that industry. I've been in enough pro shops to know selection is really limited for women.
Mydd12 wants to be a fashion designer too! She has for years. And like you, I'm extremely hesitant. Extremely. I won't forbid it, but I'm going to be talking alot about the reality. We've looked on the Occupational Outlook Handbook and the job outlook is dismal. I do know a homeschooler who just graduated from Moore College in Philadelphia with a degree in fashion design. I'll be interested to see how she does. When it comes to college education, we are very practical. We're not going to be paying, and I won't be recommending they go into debt, for something that is not likely to supply a reasonable living. My daughter takes art classes and is working her way through a DVD series on fashion design, but other than that I can't say that I encourage it. As she gets older we'll be having more and more talks about the reality. For now, I let her have her dream, but I have serious serious serious doubts about whether it is a good idea.
Karen, DD11 has her sights set on the high school fashion design certificate at Moore in a few years. I have grave reservations of spending that much money (students need to take 5 classes) for something like that. What DVD series is your daughter using? Maybe I could just have my daughter do something like that.
