I don't really know where to put this..

My daughter will start kindergarten this year, we have just recently started going over alphabet, letter sounds, writing, shes picking up quick and doing well. When i shared this news with my DH (at work) he responded with "well can she write her name yet?" We have always called her by her initals and thats what she chose to write as her name, she can write all the letters in her name but chooses to be called by her initals. I just feel like he does not support me in home schooling our daughter, his family definately does not support it. I feel like he needs to at least acknowledge my decision, but instead he does not care either way. Sorry for the rant, I just needed to let it out

 

Rant away!

I wish I had words of encouragement for you, but I'm not thinking clearly at the moment. What I'm thinking to say is probably the wrong thing to say.

 

Next, work on I :love: Daddy.

Sorry you are going through this. First generation hs'ing is always met with a transitional thinking phase for all parties. Once you get going, everyone usually settles into place (or at least learns to keep their mouth shut :lol: ) I'm glad you found us for encouragement along the way.

 

Lol! actressdancer! I just really needed to rant. I try to stay as positive as possible, but even i get blue sometimes. I guess I just needed to hear him say that I am doing the right thing, or that he cares at all about her education. I guess I expect more than he is capable of and that's my fault. I get worried sometimes that she will not learn what she needs to learn and that I have made the wrong choice. I am reassured when I see her do well, but in the mean time, I worry. I just needed a little support from him, my best friend and partner through life, and was disappointed.

 

everything will come in time..........there are LOTS of mommies in your shoes. Just keep working with your daughter....... have her show daddy her "work".

 

Thank all you ladies for your responses. I just came to a harsh realization that all of it is in my hands, on my shoulders and he doesn't seem to care whether she learns or not as long as he can come home to a clean house with supper on the table all is good. I was terribly disappointed in him, and i thank you all for your support. You have no idea how much of a help and a comfort you all have been lately.

 

Um, yeah, Dawn, we might. We've all been there (or in the vicinity) a time or two, which is why we are here to support others in their "struggle times". Either because someone was -- or wasn't -- there for us in ours.

At her age, just learning, writing her initials should be just fine. Tell dad you're waiting for her to actually START kindy before learning the whole name...

And I agree -- next, work on "I love Daddy."

 

She can write all of her letters when she sees them, over half from memory but insists that her name is K.D. instead of Katelynn. She will settle for Katy some days. I most recently I have been worried, "What if I get off track?" "What if I can't teach her all she needs to know?" "What if I cannot socialize her as well as I had hoped?" "What if I am making the wrong choice?" She still asks to go to school but I've learned its only because she wants to play with other kids. She doesn't realize what it means to wake up early and have to raise your hand to sharpen a pencil. I'm a compulsive worrier and as of late it has just all been getting to me. I needed him, he let me down. She wrote I "heart" daddy for him once, it was eventually crumbled, torn and lost somewhere within his dresser.

 

Rhetorical question....

Have you, since then, calmly sat down with him and explained this to him?


My husband used to answer all of my concerns with, "Well, send them to P.S." Not because he wanted them in school, but because men want to fix things and that was the easiest way for him to fix it. It took a while for him to understand that public school was not a fix.

 

We have sat and calmly discussed homeschooling till I was blue in the face. He said he doesn't care but I need to pick either hs or ps and stick with it. I totally agree with him on this. He has made it very clear through his actions that he doesn't care, as long as it isn't his problem. When I confronted him with this, he stared at me blankly.

 

Here is where I should probably mention he has two sons from a previous marriage (ages 10 and 7)that his mother raises. They attend public school in another district, both of which have a C average, behavior problems, the oldest held back a grade. If this helps better explain the situation at all.

 

Well, then the upside is, he'll likely come around when he sees how much better she's doing.

In the meantime, vent here all you'd like. We'll help as much as we can. Not everyone here has the "perfect" principal for a husband, either. When she does well, we'll rejoice with you. When you're struggling, we'll hear you out and offer suggestions. When you want to kick and scream and throw things, we might even help raise bail money.

 

Actressdancer! I really needed that giggle! Thank you! You're completely right, public school is not a fix, an option but not a fix. I'm so very very happy to have found ya'll!

 

Ok - we ALL rejoice when our dh's realize that this works. It takes time and years.... sometimes it even takes sending them to PS having your kids come home acting like totally different children to the point you think the school did a switch somewhere along the line.... and then it's HIS suggestion to HS them...

Oh - sorry - yeah that one was in there

My husband actually started to brag about me homeschooling to his friends before he EVER said he thought I was doing well.

We joke and say I screwed up the kids - especially dd12 because she's just slower... but now he's getting it that it's ok if I start that line of joking... but he has to back off it and test my mood sometimes before he says that

Just keep at it! And this group is awesome - after a couple years away, I was able to come back and step back in.... not as active as before because apparently I'm supposed to do something else other than homeschool and homeschoolspot.... but it's working out

 

He suggested again last night that i send her to ps, but in the district (the biggest school in the county has taken over the smaller schools, they attend the biggest) his kids attend. That means a 1:15 minute bus trip just to get there, leaving by 6:30 and not coming home till 4:30, not to mention the 103 heat in the shade in our area and the buses have no ac. That combined with the issues that have come about with his kids. I cannot afford to drive 60 miles a day to drop her off and pick her up. I have read articles where PS teachers responded saying that homeschooling doesn't prepare children for the real world and it tells them that PS isn't good enough for them. Also the bashing of HS, not being taught as much as PS, saying the PS curriculum is more challenging and the kids learn more. I wanted to slap their face. Even with the NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND act, I currently know a PS graduate that reads on a 3rd grade level and can barely spell his name, he's 22, he does have a slight learning disability but he is by no means disabled. My husband and his twin sister both dropped out in high school and got their GED due to bullying and poor teacher performance. They literally let my husband sleep through classes, they did not try to do anything with him, his english teacher admitted this years later when we saw her in walmart. It would help my case a lot if i knew exactly what a kindergartener should know by the end of the year in Arkansas. I googled it to find nothing, or exceptionally high expectations. One site supposedly written by a PS teacher stated her students learned to read at the beginning of the year. While others say knowing letter sounds and numbers to 20 is enough. I'm stressed! I desperately need a cup of coffee! I need strength! More ranting, sorry ladies! btw CHICAMARUN, i was a crazy farm mom for a while too! Now i just go out check traps, game cameras, tend garden, and make sure our food plots are doing well... wouldnt trade it for anything!

 

1. Remember, first and foremost, that Kindergarten is OPTIONAL! That means they don't NEED to know anything. Even from a PS standpoint, a child can skip K and still be on track in 1st. Most seasoned homeschoolers unschool through K even if they intend on formal educational methods 1st - 12th.

2. If you really stress about it, get this book.

3. Those PS teachers can SAY whatever they want. The hard data disagrees. There is actually evidence that we're making the right choice here; not just anecdotal. HSLDA has a nice summary here, and NHERI has very scholarly compressive studies here. It's slightly harder to find specific stats on NHERI because they are written in journal format, but it's worth digging around there if you're ever in need of a good "Why am I doing this again?" answer.

 

Thank you Actressdancer! It .23 cents what do I have to lose? I compulsively worry. Especially after her complete come apart over putting letter sounds together this morning, I was just wondering if maybe he was right all along. Reading is the basis of everything else. If I can't teach her that, can I teach her anything? I just have to stay focused, keep calm, and remember that you ladies understand. I'm not alone in this. I really wish I could give you all a big big hug!!!

 

My son (7) knew his sounds and could put them together at 3 or 4, but refused to admit that he could read until he was 6. Just one day while reading with me, he announced that he knew how to read. Even now, it has to be something he wants to read or the drama starts up. Oh, and I saw that you had starfall woes. I kept reading what a great site it was and repeatedly tried to sneak ds onto it. He always knew and HATED that site. I wanted so badly for him to like it, but it just was not for him.

I also found that games helped. Instead of just reading sight word flash cards, I would lay them on the floor and he would have to run and find the right word as I said it. Or, lay out several sheets of paper in a row on the floor. For every word she can sound out, she gets to take 1 step closer to you. When she gets to the last piece of paper, you have to give her a piggy back ride or do a silly dance, or something fun like that. Just a few ideas that popped into my head.

 

azhomeschooler, I LOVE your ideas, i just may try that after dinner! This really got me thinking! I wanted her to like starfall, but within the first 5 minutes of putting her on it she jumped down and went back to her workbooks. I was thinking maybe she just isnt ready to read yet and she will do so when she is ready. You've semi confirmed that

 

My son goes by his initials Rj he was in school till 5th grade and it wasn't till I started homeschooling him that I realized he couldn't spell his middle name so just for the record - being in PS isn't the answer to everything.