Thank you for your honesty. That is exactly how I feel. I would love for her to find God's path for her life. And I am asking Him that (if it's His will) could it please be SAHM with a wonderful God fearing man But if He wants her to go to college and be a doctor, lawer, misionary, or clown (LOL) I will be behind her 110%
THANK YOU Everyone who has replied. I think I have found a place that is better suited to my needs. I don't expect everyone to always agree with me on every subject/discussion (in fact I wouldn't like it if they did) but I do like that you all seem to have the same core values that I do Now I will go post another post...........
I choose other! College, marriage, career,mutual respect, then babies & SAHHSM! I will be happy with whatever she chooses as long as she is truly happy! Btw, I love to hear varying ideas and opinions!
I think this question could also spread over to those of us with only boys. I have found many of us share the values of wanting our boys to not only become educated, but also grow up learning how to cook, clean, and care for others. A husband could be extremely valuable to a new wife if he can help around the house and not only be the "bread winner"? Right now, my son's ambition in life (at 7) is to get hired on at Legoland and get paid in Legos (no worries about rent, car payments, etc.). He "only does school" because "Legoland won't hire him if he does not finish school". We are prepared to shape his future education to his ambitions. If he sticks with a passion for math and science, we will provide him the best opportunities we can. If he later finds a love for music, we will seek out opportunities for that direction. Would we love for him to go to college? Yes. Will we make him take that path? Not if he has a passion in another direction. At the same time, we will raise him so that he could survive on his own without a wife and when/if he does get married, he could help his wife. When I married dh, I was clueless in the cooking and cleaning department. Dh grew up with a wonderful mom who showed him by example how to keep house. He was able to help me become the wonderful (in our opinion) mom and wife that I am. Wow, that became much more elaborate than I anticipated. Yes, you have found a great place with many people that will agree with you. Will everyone always agree with you? No. But, the majority of disagreements are done with kindness and an understanding that not everyone will always have the same beliefs. Welcome!
I would like my daughter to place her family second to her Lord, once she has one, whether that means staying at home and homeschooling or another avenue or something in between should be a decision of mutual agreement between her and her husband in seeking to please her Lord, not what I think would please me. It could be that she is the breadwinner married to a homeschooling dad! Personally, I would like to see her have some means of being financially self-sufficient prior to marriage and as insurance should something happen that would result in her being a single parent, but that may not mean college and career. I believe that a woman can do most anything but not everything, and also giving to one thing takes from another--the main concern is finding balance within each unique family environment while serving the Lord within His will.
Yes, I would have said that first (God's will) but didn't want to exclude those that do not put Him first. I totally agree with you. If it is God's will that she never marry I will be sad, but would not want to go against Him.
Something similar happened to me as a child. Someone, maybe at church or something, asked me "And what do you want to be when you grow up?" When I said I wanted to be a mommy, she laughed, patted my head and said "No,I mean for a real job? You can't be just a mommy!" It made me mad even then and I was probably 8. I feel very passionately about my calling, and would love for my daughter to follow in my footsteps. But I'm torn, I know that most people would agree that she needs an education "just in case". But on the other hand, I feel like a family should be taking care of each other.If my daughter was ever in a position to have to take care of her family herself, I would hope that my dh and I were in a position to help her. Funny story, when ds was about 3 or 4, he decided he was going to marry a certain young lady at our church.(she was a jr in high school!) and I asked how he was going to manage that, he answered, "Well, I'm going to buy her a house big enough for all our kids and I'll work and she'll take care of them." I asked what she would do for a living, and he looked at me like I had a third eye and said very slowly, "She'll.take.care.of.the.kids." He had no idea there was any other way!:lol: He's nearly 10 and he still feels that way about mothers/wives. That's ok with me.
I don't know why people would say that ??? I really don't I guess that's why I never felt the need to have a "back up plan" cause my parents where always there and very supportive (financialy-not spiritualy). That is the cutest story LOL
Well, it's a moot point for me, because my DD is nearly 40 and my DS is nearly 30. Their kids are 5, and 7 and 3, respectively. I was the first of my family (birth or adoptive) to finish high school, the first to go to college, and the first to get a master's. I raised my daughter "alone" (my parents! were SO supportive!) until I met and married DH (almost 30 years now). Then we adopted DS and were a two-career family for awhile, with a dog in the yard and two kids and a mortgage... Then DH lost his job and became self-employed, and after 4th grade we brought DS home to school, so I was the breadwinner and DH was the homeschooling dad. DD did her last two years of high school at a ps residential "giftie" school. Then she went off to college and got to do a semester in London and went back for several months after graduating. She married and we all thought there weren't going to be any children (they didn't choose to be childless, it just wasn't happening...), until DGD was born. DD has been a SAHM for 5 years, but just found a job in the library system. (I SO wanted her to stay home and homeschool DGD but they didn't choose it.) DS went off to culinary school and got a job, and then made some choices we weren't thrilled with. He's not currently working (like a LOT of folks these days!) and his wife doesn't either. So we've had it all directions in our family. And Mama's "druthers" didn't have a lot to do with it. The best we can do is pray for our children and grandchildren that they will seek the Lord and His Will for their lives.
WOW, you have been through it all. But I caught that part in the middle where you would like your dd to stay at home and homeschool your granddaughter I understand. Yes, I don't know what the world is coming to? I wish I could either move to a Christian homeschooling commun ~or~ transpot back in time to the late 1700's. Ahh, to be Jane Austin :love:
My daughter is soooo very different from me. I want her to choose the path that is right for her. This may not be a popular point of view, but I have told her that I don't believe women can have it all....at the same time. We have had many discussions about choices she has to make now ( she is 19) and how they can have huge impact on later important life paths-like do you want to be able to raise your own children or not? If yes, then maybe you need to pick a less expensive college etc. I feel grateful that she sees the importance of staying home and raising her children. I am trying to keep my own agendas out of these talks, but it can be tough.
It isn't a popular point of view because we do want it all and media tries to sell the 'you can have it all' lies to us. I think media selling that lie has a lot to do with WHY women are so unhappy and feel so bad about themselves and why moms get so cut throat with other moms over issues like breast/bottle or cloth/sposies, crib/co-sleeping, etc God's plan isn't the same for everyone. He created each of us as unique individuals. There are some things that He very obviously has set forth as rules/plans for everyone and for good reason (marriage before having babies, etc as this build s a strong family unit and you avoid custody issues, children confused about who their 'real' daddy is, etc) but I've heard people say they think it's sinful for a woman not to be a SAHM. Even the Proverbs 31 woman worked...
Don't forget verse 15(b): she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. (NIV) Okay, King James and NASB say "her maidens" but the meaning is plain either way. She is a WAHM, but she is NOT doing it alone! She has servants!
See and I inturpreted it this way: 16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it; {shopping for the best deal} with her earnings she plants a vineyard. {planting a garden} 17 She is energetic and strong, {taking good care of yourself} a hard worker. {cooking , cleaning, cutting grass} 18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable; {savy with money-budgeting} her lamp burns late into the night.{not being lazy}
That one is tough, because in this day and age most do not have servants. I think that could translate into having the older siplings help out ???
I know what you mean. Right now my oldest daughter does not want to get married and have babies. She says its "too painful" LOL She was very involved in my second daughters birth (no, not in the room) LOL But I have never told her that is the way "I" want her to go. I hope to be a good example and do alot of praying/bible reading and let God's will be done. But isn't it our responsability to "train them up in the way they should go" ?
I chose "other", because I want my daughters to be what God designed them to be. I have no problems with college, if they choose that path. I do ultimately hope that they choose to marry a godly man and have babies. The homeschooling part would be great, but that'll be a decision for my daughters and their husbands.
We have a ton of servants, but most of them are plugged into the wall. Today, we don't have a cart our water in from a river, hand-wash the clothes that we spun ourselves from the wool of our own sheep, and that sort of thing. Most of what we need can be bought fairly cheaply, and most of what we need is delivered to our door by utility companies, postmen, or our own vehicles.
